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I stare at him in disbelief, and I don’t know what to say. This is what he wants, isn’t it? Yet he looks so annoyed by the idea that it makes me think maybe he doesn’t. At least until he opens his mouth again.
“It isn’t your place to talk to Santiago,” he growls. “When the time comes, I will do it. Not you.”
A surge of anger rises inside me, spilling from my lips before I can stop it.
“No, it’s never a woman’s place, is it? Not in this fucking world. You want me to leave the decisions about my life to the men. Men who are more concerned with appearances than how I feel. Well, I’m telling you right now, Judge, I’m not going to sit quietly and let that happen. This is my life. My future. And it’s not up to you to determine how or when I speak to my own goddamn brother.”
“It is up to me.” He slams his fist down onto the desk. “You are in my care—”
“No,” I bite out. “I’m not in your care. I’m your fucking prisoner. And for what purpose? Why are you keeping me here? What benefit is it to you?”
His nostrils flare, and he rises from his seat so slowly I know I’m in trouble. I try to take a step back, but his hand whips out and grabs my dress, holding me hostage as he seizes my face in his other palm.
“What benefit is it to me?” He repeats my words, his breath blowing across my lips. “I think the one benefiting here is you, little monster.”
Before I can respond, he turns me around and slaps my hands down on the desk while he grinds his pelvis against me. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”
He pulls up my dress and yanks my panties aside, his palm caressing my ass so gently that it sends a shiver down my spine. “You lured me in with your cunt.” He unzips his trousers and grabs a fistful of my hair with one hand while stroking between my thighs with the other. “You took my cock at every opportunity.”
I shake my head weakly, though I’m not sure what I’m even protesting. It’s the tone of his voice, the coldness. He’s being cruel, and I know it’s coming. I just don’t want to hear it.
“You milked my dick until you got what you wanted.” The head of his cock presses against me, and I release a stuttered breath when he pushes inside, settling as deep as I can take him.
The fullness. The pressure. It’s so intense. And I want to give in to this feeling, this need. But he’s not done talking yet. Not even as he starts to fuck me.
“You stole what I told you I wouldn’t give,” he grunts. “And now what, Mercedes? What do you think is going to happen?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, releasing a quiet breath as I try to formulate a sentence. But as he thrusts into me, the only thing I can think about is how much I have missed this. I have missed him. Even in the moments of his cruelty, it still feels sweeter than anything I’ve ever tasted. I’m already on the verge of coming when his fingers dig into my hip, and he releases my hair to slap my ass cheek.
“Answer me,” he growls.
I don’t, and he smacks my ass again, harsher this time, his hips colliding against me as he thrusts deep. Fast. Hard.
“Oh god,” I whine. “Judge, please.”
He slaps my ass so hard I’m on the verge of coming violently, only for him to pull out and ruin it at the last second.
“This isn’t for you,” he snarls, milking his cock in his fist.
I turn to look at him just as he releases, his come spurting over my ass. There’s not an ounce of satisfaction in his eyes. He’s doing this to punish me. I realize that when he smears the liquid from his hand onto my skin, leaving me exposed as he tucks himself into his pants and stares down at me.
“Go get ready. We have a fucking baptism to get to.”
The car ride to the IVI compound is tense and silent. Judge stares out his window, and I stare out mine. I wish I could say the mood improves when we arrive and I see beautiful little Elena in her christening gown, but it doesn’t.
Judge allows me exactly one minute to say hello before pulling me back to stand away from the rest of the gathered crowd. We watch the baptism from a distance, and sadness washes over me as I realize how far away my family feels.
I should be Elena’s godmother, but I’m not. Santiago won’t grant that to me. It only makes me realize that even though he said we’re going to put the past behind us, things will never be the same. I’ll never feel like a part of this.
I think the best thing I can do for everyone is leave. Maybe that would make them all happier. Maybe there’s a scrap of happiness somewhere out there for me too, but I doubt it. I’m stuck in my feelings when the ceremony ends, and there’s a small opening for me to see Elena one last time. I know we aren’t staying for the celebration after, and that sucks, but I can tell it’s because Judge doesn’t want anyone to see what’s beneath my dress. He’s been on edge the entire time we’ve been here, his eyes scanning the crowd as if someone’s going to notice it at any second. If I don’t get out of his hold soon, I know he won’t let me go anywhere for fear of someone finding out.
Setting those thoughts aside, I join Santiago and Ivy briefly to offer them my gift, and then I stroke Elena’s soft little cheek. It’s all I have time for before Judge drags me back out into the courtyard and then back to the prison of his house.
Darkness settles over me, and I curl into myself for the duration of the ride. When we arrive, I don’t bother to say anything else to Judge. I don’t even look at him as I walk to my room, strip off my clothes, get into the shower, and cry.
9
Judge
