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His threat sends fear skittering down my spine, and despite my mind screaming at me to run, he easily lowers me to the ground and shoves my face into the straw. He straddles my back, reaching for straps of leather and a bit, and my chest starts to heave with the force of the emotion I’m trying desperately to hold back.
It’s a pointless exercise because when he pushes the metal bar between my lips and teeth, the humiliation stains my cheeks with more tears I can’t hide. Next, he fashions the leather straps into a makeshift bridle, which he secures with a lead. And for his final piece of cruelty, he secures my arms behind my back with more leather, wrapping it around my wrists so many times there’s no question I’ll ever be able to get it off.
He doesn’t say a word as he rises to his feet, leaving me helpless on the floor, the straw chafing against my bare skin.
“You’ll be sleeping in here tonight.” He spits the words out unmercifully as he secures the lead to the hook on the wall. “Perhaps tomorrow morning, I’ll find you in a more agreeable mood.”
And with that final blow, he leaves me.
I wanted to believe Judge was bluffing. I had convinced myself of it. He wasn’t going to leave me like this all night. But after an hour passed, and then two, I started to lose hope.
My arms were numb, and my whole body ached from being pinned in this position. The bridle and bit weighted my head down, and I couldn’t get comfortable, no matter what I did. At first, I stood and tried to move around, but the lead kept me from going too far. I could stand in one place, or I could lie down, but neither of those options did anything to ease the ever-increasing pain.
My shoulders burned as I tried to wiggle even an inch of space into the restraints at my wrists, but nothing I tried worked. When I inevitably collapsed onto the floor, that wasn’t any better because now my entire body was scratched from the straw.
Tears sprang to my eyes as I considered that he really did plan to leave me here like this for eight hours. Possibly even more. And there was no way I could endure it.
So out of desperation, I tried everything I could think of to loosen my restraints. I rubbed them against the wooden edge of the wall post, but that only resulted in raw skin. I tried to pull them up far enough behind me to use the metal hook as a tool to untether them, but I wasn’t tall enough for that. After another two hours passed, I began to cry in earnest. And then I had an idea.
I might not be able to get the restraints off my wrists, but I had a much better chance at severing the lead. It took me what I estimated to be another two hours to saw it against the edge of the wall, nearly strangling myself in the process. But eventually, the last little bit of leather broke free, and relief breathed new life into me. That relief was quickly swallowed by the realization that it had taken me much longer just to accomplish that.
Now, peeking out through the bars of the stall door, I can see the sun will probably be rising soon. Which means all my efforts may have been in vain. And then something occurs to me. Paolo often comes down here in the early mornings to check on the horses before I even get to the stables. I know because I’ve seen him here at times when I arrive.
Regardless, my mind is made up. No matter who comes through that door this morning, I’m getting the fuck out of here.
I sit quietly by the wall and wait, listening as the birds began to chirp and sunlight gradually spills into the stables. It’s the weekend, which means Judge will probably sleep later than usual, and Paolo might not show up as early as I hope either. But just as I’m about to nod off from exhaustion, I hear the sound of his voice as he greets Temperance in the stall closest to the entrance.
I breathe a sigh of relief and crouch down, kicking my bare foot against the wood to draw attention to the stall.
There’s a moment of silence before Paolo calls out, “Is someone there?”
I kick again, careful not to make it too consistent, and then I hear his boots drawing closer as he investigates each stall before he gets to mine. He pauses then, and I hold my breath, trying to stay as still as possible. I know there’s no way he can see me from where he’s at, as high as the barred windows are.
Then it happens. I hear the lock disengaging before he starts to slide open the door from the outside. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sweeter sound.
When I jump up, it startles him, and his eyes are wide as saucers when he sees my naked form shoot past him. There’s nothing I can do about that. Judge either didn’t take that into consideration last night, or he truly doesn’t care who sees me this way. Regardless, I can’t think about it as my feet hit the solid floor beneath them, and I take off, sprinting as fast and hard as I can.
I hear Paolo mutter a curse from behind me, but he doesn’t give chase. He doesn’t dare. There’s a small sliver of guilt in my chest as I consider that he might get in trouble for this, but I don’t care. I can’t care. I have to think of myself now since Judge has made it clear he won’t.
I know it will only be a matter of time before Judge is alerted to the incident, and he’ll give chase. With the dogs sniffing out my trail, it probably won’t take him long at all. But I’m not about to give up. I’m going to do everything in my power to escape, even if the odds are stacked against me.
I veer into the wooded area beside the stables, knowing it might be a fatal mistake. But at least there’s cover and places to hide. If I tried to go to the front gate, I know my chances will go down to zero.
My throat burns and so do my muscles as my feet pound against the terrain as pebbles and branches tear into my flesh. It fucking hurts, but I try not to think about it. Worse yet is the bit gnashing against my teeth with every step. It only gets harder to carry myself as the seconds pass, and I start to slip around in the unfamiliar area.
Still, I keep going. I don’t have a choice. I’ll find someone to help me as soon as I’m beyond the property line. It’s what I have to believe. It’s the hope I’m clinging to when I spot a small, unfamiliar cottage in the distance. I’ve never seen it before, and panic wells up in my chest when I realize it might belong to one of the staff. As I’m considering it, I see the face of a man I don’t recognize in the window, and my heartbeat quickens as I dash to the right, hoping by some small miracle he didn’t actually see me.
In my distraction, I lose sight of my footing, stumble over a gnarled root, and go tumbling forward, right down into the creek bed. My knees hit the rocks first, and instinct has me trying to flail my arms, but they’re locked behind me, and there’s nothing to soften the blow as my torso tips forward and my face bounces off a rock in the cold water.
A gurgling noise escapes my mouth as I try to suck in air, but I can’t. And I can’t pull myself up against the weight of the current without the use of my arms. Darkness seeps into my vision, and my chest feels like it’s going to explode as the horrific reality of my situation sinks in.
I’m going to fucking drown in two feet of water. Because of Judge. Because of what he did to me.
I try and fail to flip over, but I can’t. The current is pushing me along the creek bed, my body battering against the edges of the rocks. It’s happening too fast. Dizziness clouds over my mind, and tears prick my eyes as my lips part wider instinctively, still trying to draw in air.
But it isn’t air I breathe.
It’s water.
