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“Ava?” Azlan comes up behind me and puts a large paw on my shoulder. “We do need to go.”
“I know,” I say. “But…”
He says nothing, but I know my time here is at an end, and clinging to it won’t change anything.
“Alright,” I say. “Well, bye for now.”
I give a little wave to all the generations of my family I have ever known.I know it’s only my imagination, but they wave back. Not in person, of course, but in light gusts of winds that make the flowers between their graves sway back and forth.
“Are you alright?”
Azlan rubs my back as we walk toward his ship.
“I am,” I say. “I feel like I shouldn’t be. But this feels like the natural next step. You spend twenty something years farming an asteroid, and then you fly into an alien war zone while maybe pregnant. It just makes sense.”
Azlan snorts gently. “You get sarcastic when you are stressed. Everything is going to be okay. You are going to be very well protected. You are my mate, and where we are going, that makes you the alpha female.”
“I don’t know that I’m capable of being an alpha female to a pride of aliens who are bigger, stronger, and probably smarter than me.”
By this time, we are on Azlan’s ship, and preparing for departure. I’ve decided it’s best if Buttface is confined to our quarters, because he is losing his mind, and when he is upset he gets destructive. There’s a lot of chaos in the loading, mostly because I want to bring a lot of stuff. There isn’t time to sort through and decide what’s most important, so I want it all.
Azlan’s quarters now look like a very lavish cottage. The best of the furniture is ranged around the room interspersed with his things. He doesn’t have a lot of things. He’s sort of a leonine minimalist. I’m the opposite.
“Join me on the bridge,” Azlan says. “I think you will enjoy what you are about to see.”
I feel a certain heaviness, but I force a smile because I want to be happy. I follow Azlan up to the bridge and I watch as the Leonid contingent takes off from the asteroid in a formation, four ships acting as one. Azlan is in the captain’s chair, which I have to say, suits him. He’s also put on clothing that seems more in line with what his brothers were wearing, a silvery outfit with a deep V down the front of his chest that exposes his abdominal plane. It’s very rock star. It’s also very hot.
It’s so easy to be distracted from the seriousness of the situation, including my own loss. I think I know in my gut that there is every chance I’ll never see home again. We are heading toward war. I’ve never been in war, but I know enough about it to know it doesn’t always mean a homecoming.
Azlan does not seem afraid. He seems purposeful and decisive. Seeing him lead his brothers turns me the hell on. He has such a natural authority to him, I wonder why I didn’t notice it before. Maybe I did and just didn’t want to get all mushy about it. Or maybe he was taking a break from his role — at least until the others showed up. There’s no doubting his dominance now.
I could sit down, but I don’t want to. Something about the way my ass is still throbbing after he whipped it, and me. I know I ought to be mad about that, but I’m not. I mean, I am. But I’m also very much curious as to what this means for us, and for me.
Is he going to do it again?
Maybe I want him to.
Maybe I liked how it felt to be under his control, to have my choices temporarily taken away, and to feel safe. I got very used to being on my own, and I thought I enjoyed my independence. But maybe there wasn’t any other option. Maybe all the things I think are my personality are actually just ways I found to survive on a barren fucking Growler-infested asteroid.
I will not miss the Growlers. That’s one good thing about escaping the asteroid. I’m going to a Growler free planet, and one I presumably won’t have to farm. I wonder what my duties will be, if I have any. Will I lead a life of leisure as the mate of the alpha? I’m starting to get more than a little excited.
“You should take a seat,” Azlan says, breaking my train of thought. “We’re about to exit the atmosphere. It gets a little rocky.”
“I’ll be okay,” I say, putting my hand on the back of his chair to steady myself in anticipation. I know if I sit down, it’s going to feel like I’m getting my butt whipped all over again. Better to stay on my feet and keep a little dignity, right?
“Are you paying attention, Ava?”
“Paying attention to what? Oh!”
As soon as we exit the atmosphere, the ships slide together through space and begin what I can only describe as a transformational sequence. I watch on the bridge as the three other bridges come toward us in what I assume is going to be a crash.
I give Azlan a sidelong glance, trying not to freak out even though I am very tempted to freak right the fuck out. “What’s happening?”
Azlan pushes a button on the bridge, and light metal music with a lot of riffing and frequent stings starts to play. It’s action music, almost like a theme song. It makes the entire experience feel far more upbeat and less horrendously dangerous, which I appreciate.
The other ships are so close now that I can see the faces of his brothers. We haven’t been properly introduced yet, so I mentally refer to them as dark tabby, silver tabby, and budget Azlan. They’re all at their control chairs too.
“C’mere,” Azlan says, pulling me into his lap.
