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I tilt my head, not fully paying attention and too busy lost in thought. “Huh?”
“You know, the pet play event in Lake Tahoe?” He holds my stare.
“Oh. Right. As far as I know. It’s next week, right?”
He opens the Styrofoam lid and impatiently stabs at his food. “Yeah. We’re supposed to leave Thursday. I already told my work I’ll be taking the whole week off so I had time to pack and all that… Unless you aren’t up for it after all.”
“I am.” I shuffle in my seat. “I actually printed out the registration instructions last night.”
“Great. It’s settled then. I’ll pick you up Thursday morning and we’ll head to the airport together.” He shoves the first bite of rice in his mouth, his lips tightening around the fork. The same ones that felt foreign against mine.
“Sounds good,” I say, glancing down at my still unopened takeout.
“It’s going to be fun getting away together.” He smiles, his eyes full of uncertainty. He’s always been a horrible liar. Is it me he’s not excited to go with or is it the event he’s not looking forward to? Perhaps a bit of both.
“Yeah. I’ve never been to an event like this before, so I’m pretty excited. A little nervous too.”
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll be there with you.” He reaches his hand out and places it on top of mine.
I force a smile. “I know.” It should be comforting but all it does is make me more anxious. Isaac doesn’t really care for me in bird space. He sometimes says it gets too weird for him. He wasn’t in the scene but tried for me anyway, saying it could be something he might be into. It hasn’t been so far. I feel like all the parties and events we’ve attended together have only torn us more apart.
I only went to them because he asked me to. I wasn’t a person who cared to go out and he figured meeting me halfway with something I enjoy would convince me more to go. It did. Mostly because I missed being a dove for people other than myself.
Being in dove space in my house for only me to see gets lonely, and it’s harder to stay in it for long alone. It’s also nice to be surrounded by others who I can relate to. People who won’t judge me for wanting to wear wings or chirp. There are times when I badly crave and need it.
Since our relationship has been strenuous, Isaac surprised me with a trip to Lake Tahoe. He’d heard me mention wanting to go someday. I can’t believe it’s finally going to happen. Why am I not more happy about it? Maybe because I might not be able to fully let go and enjoy myself with Isaac when he’s constantly telling me when I need to tone it down or be someone I’m not.
I open my container of food and Isaac is already halfway done with his when I shove the first spoonful of rice in my mouth. We finish eating in silence and, unable to finish my food, I place the rest in the fridge for lunch tomorrow.
“Did you not like it?” Isaac tosses his trash in the bin next to the back door.
“I did. It was really good but I wasn’t that hungry.”
“Maybe I can help you work up an appetite then.” He grins, reaching for my hands. I allow him to pull me into him and he kisses my neck, causing me to squirm.
“I’m actually really tired tonight and still have to wake up early to get more cookies done. I was also considering blueberry lemon muffins.”
He sighs against me. “Always next time then I guess.”
“You can still sleep over,” I say as he pulls away.
“Nah. I probably should go home since I didn’t bring any clothes with me. That way I don’t have to rush. I’ll see you Sunday for dinner?”
“Yeah. See ya Sunday.”
He pecks me on the lips and lightly slaps my butt. “I’ll pick you up at seven. Don’t forget.”
“I won’t.” I wave him off as he exits the house and I walk toward the door to lock it. The kitchen and living room open up to each other so it doesn’t take me long. Staring down at the entryway table, I grab the registration instructions to the resort and event in Lake Tahoe and read over it again. Isaac had everything forwarded to me and was sure to put it all under my name.
Clutching the paper between my fingers, I retrieve my phone from the table and walk over to my couch. Plopping against the suede cushions, I open up the internet browser on my phone and go to the website listed in the email. The view is breathtaking and it looks exactly like the vacation I need. I take the tour on the hotel site, viewing all the rooms, lobby, and other amenities it has to offer.
There’s a gym, a swimming pool, and a game room but with all the events happening, I doubt I’ll have time or the energy for any of it. The information regarding the pet adoption has me sitting up straighter and I look closely at the names of all the pets registered. My stomach twists when I find mine near the bottom. Isaac signed me up.
Why would he do that without telling me? Is he planning on bidding? Surely he wouldn’t want anyone else to have a chance at taking me home. Swallowing hard, I close out of the tab, worried about what other information I might discover. My vibrating phone offers me a much needed distraction and I smile at the incoming message.
Finn: Save me a slice of the Dulce De Leche cheesecake.
Me: I’ll think about it.
