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I don’t know what’s happening between me and Finn but us acting like it’s no big deal won’t solve anything. Finn will keep flirting and getting too close while I continue to let him. Yes, this trip is exactly what I need. Not only to try and fix my relationship and have fun socializing with other pets but to also distance myself from the man I shouldn’t have been wishing I was kissing instead of my boyfriend.
Sighing, I set down the phone and head for my room. Standing in front of my open closet, I pull down a pink suitcase and a medium-sized bag, planning to distract myself with some early packing. This trip will be good for many reasons. It’ll give me a chance to reconnect with Isaac again and possibly bring us closer together.
I didn’t want Finn to kiss me earlier or now. It’s the loneliness and lack of human contact that’s getting to me. Spending the week alone with Isaac will have me seeing everything more clearly, and having the chance to be in bird space for longer periods of time will too.
Or so I hope.
Seven
Finn
Tossing the covers to the side, I force myself out of bed. Not wanting to be blinded by the morning light more than I already am, I shield my eyes as I walk to the bathroom. I groan as I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I look like shit. Washing my face and fixing my hair doesn’t do much to help my appearance. The bags under my eyes are still there and I look like I’m coming down with the plague.
I felt feverish and nauseated when storming out of Theo’s house last night. Everything was going my way and I was so close to kissing the man I’m falling for more every day. Then his jerk of a boyfriend had to show up for dinner. He practically ghosted him for a whole week and suddenly wanted to play the role of perfect lover when he already missed his damn chance.
I spit in the sink after brushing my teeth, the mint taste not enough to cover the taste of bitterness on my tongue. Is Isaac still there? Is he making love to Theo right now? Are they sharing kisses in bed that should be mine?
I’m too afraid to know the answers. My stomach shifts and breakfast is the last thing on my mind this morning. The sooner I leave for work the better. The longer I stay here, the more tempted I am to stomp on over to Theo’s house and bang his door down.
“Kiddo this and Kiddo that.” I mimic the sound of Isaac’s voice as I walk over to my dresser. Fuck that asshole. I’m more a man than he’ll ever be. I don’t treat the people I’m supposed to care about like shit and don’t break my promises or plans.
I tug on my clothes and head downstairs. My mom is in the kitchen when I make my way to the fridge to grab a can of Dr. Pepper.
“Those aren’t good for you,mijo.”
“You tell me this every day, Ma. You broke a record at this point.”
“Maybe I’m hoping to actually get through to you someday.” She walks over to kiss my cheek and ruffle my hair. “Are you on your way to work?”
“Yup. Then I have to do some stuff for my online class later. I might do it during my lunch break so I can come home and crash.”
“You aren’t hanging out at Theo’s house later?”
“No. Why?”
“Was only wondering. You’ve been there a lot lately.”
“What can I say, he’s my favorite uncle.”
She laughs. “I’m glad he has someone to help out and keep him company. Your dad worries about him not leaving the house much.”
“He leaves the house plenty.” In fact, he’s going away on a trip next week he has yet to tell me about. He doesn’t owe me anything but I thought he’d at least bring it up in passing. He isn’t only going to be gone for a whole week, he’s leaving with Isaac. It’ll probably turn into some romantic getaway for them too. Last night I went to the site I remembered seeing in the printed email and was tempted to register. Then I realized how crazy the idea was and exited the site.
He doesn’t need me. He has Isaac. Do I really want to be stuck in a hotel room by myself knowing they’re in the same building together doing things couples do?
“I told your dad that and he still doesn’t think it’s enough. He doesn’t like that boyfriend of his either.”
“No one does,” I say, popping up the tab of my soda can.
She grabs a taco from a container and rolls it up in foil before handing it to me. “Here. You have to eat something. You don’t want to go to work on an empty stomach.”
Leaning forward, I kiss her on the forehead. “Thanks, Ma. I’ll see you later.”
“Eat your taco,” she shouts behind me as I head for the door.
“I will,” I yell in response before stepping onto the porch. The sun is so bright, it drowns out the clouds, the yellow and red hues covering every bit of white in the sky. It’s beautiful. If only I could sit out here and enjoy it longer.
I climb into my car and drive to the restaurant, not once looking in the direction of Theo’s house. If I keep thinking about last night, I won’t be able to focus during work hours. I don’t need to accidentally take food to the wrong table or spill drinks on people’s laps because I’m too lost in my own head.
