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“Smooth over matters?” I said. “I thought you wanted them dead. They’re trying to kill me and my father!”
“Hold on,” he interrupted, in his calm, now condescending voice. He was going to speak to me like a child and I couldn’t stand it.
“You’re not telling me what’s going on!” I said.
“I’m trying to!”
“Ughh!” I threw my phone across the room. An incessant buzzing soon came from where I had thrown the phone.What’s wrong with me?
The guard had noticed I was mad, and came in to ask if I was ok.
I picked up the phone, and called Brody, completely ignoring the guard.
“Hey,” he said. “I know you’ve been cooped up. And I’ll come see you. Ok?”
I wasn’t convinced. I wanted him to make me a priority, and I wanted him to treat me as an equal, and not like this fragile little flower that he could just lock up and put away whenever he wanted to.
“Why can’t you come now?” I asked. I was still irritated by how happy he sounded over the phone, and at the fact that he still hadn’t told me he would come and see me.
Deep down, I knew I wasn’t being fair. He was doing everything in his power to keep me safe, and make the Reed situation go away. It was just hard to believe because he never let me be a real part of the conversation.
“I’ll be there,” he said. “I promise.”
“When?”
He didn’t have an answer.
“If you can’t tell me when, then you don’t love me,” I said. In retrospect, he loved me more than I could even imagine. But, because I was tired of waiting, I was demanding too much of him at the time.
He couldn’t tell me because he was trying to take on the whole situation all on his own. He didn’t want me tangled up in this mess because he didn’t want to see me suffering.
I wasn’t able to see that so instead of being understanding, I did a dumb thing.
“Why can’t you tell me?” I asked.
“The less you know, the better,” he said. This only served to make things worse, and I grew red with anger. Every imaginable ugly thought about him came to me, when not even moments ago, I was in love with a fantasy of him.
Real life has a way of being incredibly disappointing and at that moment, the man who was protecting me was failing me. And I was failing him.
When two people get together, it should be a two way street, and working things out is part of that equation. Instead of him telling me, he simply scoffed at my question.
“Don’t you trust me?” He asked.
“No,” I said. “Not anymore. It’s over.” And I quickly hung up the phone.
18
BRODY
Ididn’t understand what was wrong with her. She was my firecracker, a volatile explosive that I somehow lit up at the wrong time. There was no way that it could just be over like that but when I called again, she didn’t answer.
Before giving up, I tried calling multiple times. I slammed my phone against the wall in anger. The screen cracked, and I got one of the burners in my desk.
It was going to be a pain to set it back up, but the Reeds were going to call any minute to tell me the drop off point. We had worked out a deal that would give us more time, and would eventually have them move away from Chicago if I played my cards right.
But I had to be available, and I had to move quickly.
I sent a message from my burner, showing a pic of my destroyed phone to let Braden know that it really was me. He didn’t respond, but it didn’t matter. He had gotten my message.
