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“I…microwave and order in with the best of them.” I turned my back to him, as well, and focused on Mary. “I don’t want to be a burden.”
“I’d fire you both if I could.” Zander tossed his napkin down on his plate and walked over to me. He gripped my upper arm and met my gaze with fire in his eyes. “We need to talk.”
I grinned and pretended to pick a piece of lint off his shirt. “You forgot your plate at the table. Gracie should see an example of cleaning up after yourself.”
Mary actually laughed, and I was pretty sure that was the only thing that stopped Zander from tossing me over his shoulder and hauling me out the front door. While he was staring incredulously at his property manager, I slipped free and moved to Gracie’s side. “Let’s think about lunch and then we’ll go swimming. Put your plate in the sink if you’re finished.”
She pouted, but did as I said. Stopping next to Mary, she looked up at the older woman and smiled shyly. “Cake and ice cream.”
I felt three pairs of adult eyes turn on me and I cringed. Yeah, I hadn’t perfected the nanny thing, clearly. “Real food, too, Gracie.”
“Cake and ice cream are real food, Aggie. My mommy said so.” Tears filled Gracie’s eyes and she crossed her arms over her chest.
I knew next to nothing about kids, but I could feel a tantrum coming. “Well, then. We’ll eat cake and ice cream for lunch. I can’t argue with Mommy logic.”
Every adult in the room had gone still and I could feel a heaviness in the room that took all the fun out of my poking the guys. I didn’t know the story of Gracie’s parents, but I knew the signs. It felt like not all that long ago that I was the little girl standing with my arms crossed, angry that someone might’ve disrespected my dead mother.
Mary stepped in once again. “Jamie will be fine with changing the menu.”
14
***Aggie***
Insteadofswimming,Gracieretreated to her room. I followed her and settled on the floor next to her bed. She grabbed a book and held it in front of her face while little sniffles escaped her. I grabbed a book and pretended to be engrossed in it, letting her decide to talk when, and if, she wanted to. We sat there until my legs went to sleep and even after.
After what felt like hours of silence, her tiny voice finally came from behind the book. “My mommy is in heaven.”
I stared down at my book. “Mine, too. I was around your age when my mom died, Gracie. I’m sorry that it happened to you. I know how hard it is to be so sad when you’re too little to do anything about it.”
“My daddy went with my mommy.” Her voice was even quieter. “Did your daddy go to heaven?”
I gripped the book so hard that the pages came loose from the binding. “No. My dad is still here with me.”
She was quiet for a while longer and then she put her book down. “I miss my room.”
Turning to face her, I nodded. “Tell me about it?”
She did. She described her house with her parents and made it sound so magical and special that I had tears in my eyes when she finished. It sounded like she’d had amazing parents.
“When your mommy went to heaven, did you have to move?”
I cleared my throat and sat up straighter. “I did. We all lived in this tiny apartment in the city before my mom died. She was sick and we had to stay close to the hospital. When she went to heaven, my dad took me to a little town where all my aunts and uncles lived. I had about a million cousins who were all loud and crazy. They always wrestled and broke things everywhere they went. They were a lot of fun, but I was too angry to have fun with them at first.”
“Why?”
I turned to face her and took her hand in mine. “They all had their moms still. I was mad that I didn’t get to keep my mom when they all got to keep theirs. It took me a long time to be happy for them instead of angry. We’re in a special club, Gracie. Girls who lose their moms too young, we have to stick together. We have big feelings and it’s easy to get lost in them. Together, we can always find our way.”
She stared at our hands linked together and nodded. “Okay.”
I smiled like I wasn’t panicking internally at the responsibility of the promise I’d just made her. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I was in no way the right person to take care of a sad little girl. I still felt like a sad little girl myself some days. Who was I to tell her anything?
“Can we swim now?” She scooted to the edge of the bed and swung her feet. “I like swimming the most.”
I nodded. “Sure. Let’s pick out your swimsuit and then we’ll find something for me, too.”
Gracie seemed to cheer up as we both readied ourselves for the pool. She picked out a brand-new pink bathing suit to wear and I found my most decent bra and panties to wear under an oversized T-shirt. I’d need to find a bathing suit soon, but not until the marks on my body faded. They were covered, but I didn’t want to take any chances with the water wearing the coverage off.
Downstairs, we grabbed water bottles and stood at the edge of the patio to apply sunscreen. Gracie ran around the patio to dry hers faster and I chose to sit on the edge of the pool while I waited.
