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I didn’t know what was wrong with Knight, but he’d snapped at Jamie when Jamie asked if the meal was okay. He was usually so lost in his tech that he didn’t have time to get pissed about anything small, but somehow it looked like Jamie had pissed him off. It was a question for another time. Kyrin had been the only one of us in a good mood and I could guess why he was in that good mood, of course. After sitting at the table with everyone else acting sour, his mood had slipped into something more neutral, however.
Of course, we chose the night that Jamie served a four-course meal to crumble. There was no escaping the awkwardness. For the first time in months, my phone didn’t ring once, giving me a chance to run. I was forced to sit in the discomfort I’d helped create.
I looked down the table at Aggie and frowned. She wasn’t a terrible nanny, despite her lack of training and knowledge. She would never make the cut permanently, because she just let Gracie do whatever she wanted, but she was filling a much-needed position for the time being and doing it well enough. Gracie loved her. Mary liked her. She’d fucked up in taking Gracie to town, but I had to admit that I hadn’t clarified that she wasn’t allowed to do what a trained nanny could.
When I’d come home and found her shitty car missing, though, I’d panicked. Since Zella…I didn’t like chancing people I cared for. I didn’t know Aggie enough to know if she could keep Gracie safe in a car. Anything could happen. It only took seconds for life to end. I’d lost my cool and I knew that I owed Aggie an explanation, maybe even an apology, but it wasn’t easy. I’d made it my job to be right. I was good at my job, good at being right. Being wrong felt pretty shit.
Playing fair wasn’t something I was all that concerned with when it came to saving face, so I used everything I could in my effort to end the tension with Aggie. “You’re coming to the office with me tomorrow, Aggie. Gracie will stay with Mary for the morning.”
Aggie’s eyes lasered in on me. “Why?”
I ground my teeth and took a drink of my whiskey. “It’s time for your first performance test.”
Knight frowned at me, but kept silent. He’d prepared a few scenarios to test her with when we’d first hired her, scenarios that were meant to stump her. I wasn’t the expert that Knight was, but I’d gone in and looked at the tests to make sure she wouldn’t figure them out. It wasn’t that I wanted her to fail for my own pleasure. I just didn’t trust her. I couldn’t let her into our company.
“Are you serious?” Aggie watched me nod, and her expression slightly softened. “This is amazing! Thank you!”
Gracie pouted. “I want to come.”
“Oh, butterfly. I promise I won’t be gone for too long. I’m going to be working at my other job and when I do that work, I’m like a robot. You don’t want a robot as a nanny, do you?” Aggie scooted her chair closer to Gracie, her excitement pouring out of her. “So, you know how I showed you how to do crossword puzzles? My job is sort of like that. I study a whole bunch of factors and I solve a puzzle that most people don’t even see. Each puzzle is different and there’s never a specific way to solve it. I love it so much that I get lost in it.”
I watched my brothers lean into Aggie as she spoke, both of them as lost in her as she was in her work. I looked at her and felt a kinship in how passionate she was about her work. Her eyes lit up and she spoke faster, growing animated the more she talked about puzzles and solutions. It was impossible not to feel something while watching her.
Gracie forgot that she wasn’t going and let Aggie’s infectious excitement take over her little body. “Do you think you’re better than Uncle Knight at puzzles?”
Without missing a beat, Aggie waved her hand and nodded. “Yeah! I mean, I know that Uncle Knight is good at what he does, but I’m better. Remember how I told you about my dad moving me to live near my aunts and uncles after my mom died? He always wanted to live in the country because he had all these wild ideas about the government and privacy. He got carried away when we first lived on the farm and I was so angry at the world that I made it my mission to prove him wrong at all times. I got so good at working out puzzles in my head because living with Dad was like living in a giant puzzle. So, while Uncle Knight is really good and you should be so proud of him, I could work circles around him.”
I fought back a laugh at Knight’s facial expression and rested my chin on my fist. “Your dad’s a conspiracy theorist?”
Some of Aggie’s excitement faded when she met my gaze and I watched her reel herself back in. “Um, not anymore. After having his kid prove him wrong time and time again, he got bored with conspiracies. Though, he still believes in aliens and could discuss election fraud until blue in the face.”
My mood darkened at seeing her dim her shine when facing me. I wanted her to smile just as wide at me as she did at everyone else. As quickly as I had her attention, I lost it, though. She went straight back to talking to Gracie, ignoring my presence unless I spoke directly to her with a question.
I finally sat back and just watched. Kyrin’s good mood was back, and he teased Aggie like they’d been best friends for a lifetime. Knight even joined in, until Jamie brought out dessert with a special plate for Aggie.
Aggie smiled kindly and continued to charm everyone around her while pretending I was nothing more than a piece of furniture. Dinner ended with a big yawn from Gracie and a hesitant anticipation from both of my brothers. It all just pissed me off, but I fought to hide it.
“Will one of you guys take Gracie upstairs while I have a word with Aggie?” I hadn’t meant to open my mouth, but I found that I couldn’t stand being ignored a second longer.
“If it’s about earlier, don’t worry about it.” Aggie forced a smile and stood up.
“Sit down, Aggie. It won’t take long.” I shot a look at my brothers and pressed my fists against my thighs as I waited for them to leave.
Aggie crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair, the picture of petulance. The moment we were alone, she cocked her head to the side and started in on me. “Unless you’re going to apologize to me, I don’t have-”
“I’m sorry.” The two words surprised both of us and I shifted in my chair as discomfort washed over my spine. I had to clear my throat before continuing. “I wasn’t as angry as I was…scared. Losing my twin, Zella… It’s taken a toll on all of us.”
She sat forward and rested her arms on the table. I studied her softening face and felt my own body relax in response.
“No one drives Gracie that hasn’t been trained. It’s one of the requirements we stated for the job.” I steepled my fingers in front of me and stared at the connection. “It was my responsibility to tell you that I wasn’t comfortable with you taking her out. In all the excitement, I didn’t do that. I’m sorry for the way I acted this afternoon, Aggie.”
She stood up and walked around the table. When she got to my side, my pulse had sped up in preparation for what she’d do. Resting her hand on my shoulder, she smiled softly at me. “Thanks for explaining. That makes sense and I wouldn’t have taken her anywhere if I’d known it would scare you. I’m not interested in doing any damage while here, Zander.”
I held my breath as she moved around the back of the chair, waiting for her touch again. “So, we can put that behind us now?”
She stopped on her way out of the room and glanced back at me. “Sure. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I stared at the spot she’d disappeared from and frowned. Disappointment felt like a snake crawling over my skin, rough and slimy. She’d blown me off. I rubbed my hands down my face and shook my head. It was what I deserved, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. I sat there, overthinking things for far too long. By the time I carried myself to bed, I was beyond frustrated and torn between who to be more pissed at, myself or Aggie.
