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Kyrin joined us and looked at our faces while putting his cellphone away. “What’s going on?”
“I mean, what evenislove? It’s just another stupid feeling I can shove inside and lock up. I freaked out for a minute there, because I’ve never loved anyone who wasn’t family. It doesn’t have to mean anything, though. It took me less than a month to fall in love, so what? It’ll take around that to get over them? You’re shaking your head. Why are you shaking your head?”
I walked closer and gripped the bars that separated me from Aggie. Her back was to me, but as she turned and I saw her, I almost wished she’d kept her back to me so I wouldn’t have to see her red-rimmed eyes. The evidence of her crying staring right back at me was a deserved punch to the gut.
Aggie took a deep breath and then turned away from me. “Anyway, I think I’ll be fine. Who else wants to give me a reason they think they need a man so I can tell them why they don’t?”
The women were all staring at me and my brothers, their eyes wide. There were ten of them sitting on a bench on the back wall, watching Aggie pace in front of them like she was a lecturer at school.
Knight looked back at the officer. “Open the door.”
Aggie looked over her shoulder at the officer. “Don’t open the door.”
Kyrin swore and moved closer, juggling Gracie as he grabbed the bars. “Don’t do that, Aggie. You’re not staying. The order to release you will be coming down any second. You’re coming with us.”
“Gracie shouldn’t be here. You should all take her home and apologize to her that you suck so much.” Without even looking back at us, Aggie flipped her hair over her shoulders and kept talking like we weren’t there. “The only man I know who I don’t hate right now? My dad. Y’all would love him.”
“Aggie, I’m sorry.” I pushed through the awkwardness of having an audience. “I fucked up and I’m sorrier than I can even explain right now. You should hate me and trash whatever of mine you want to, but please don’t be stubborn about leaving. You can’t stay here.”
She went still. “I’ve always heard that love and hate are separated by such a fine line and I never got it until now. Because as much as I care about each of you, I hate you even more right now. I’m not leaving with you. I don’t want anything to do with you ever again. I know that probably sounds dramatic, but as men who so easily made the big decision to throw me away, I assume you’ll understand.”
"Just listen to me, Aggie. Blake got to us and made us think... It doesn't matter. We were fucking stupid to ever listen to a thing he said. This whole thing was just a terrible mistake. Please, hear me when I tell you that I am sorrier than I can say. I hate myself for hurting you and I just need you to look at me and give me a second to show you how sorry I am." I felt my sanity crumbling. "I'm begging you, Aggie."
"No."
"You're so much better than us, Aggie. Be good for us one more time, baby, and just talk to us." I sucked in a harsh breath and felt pain travel up my arms as my grip on the metal bars tightened. "Please."
When she didn’t budge Knight shook the cell door. “Goddammit, Aggie, you’re not staying in a jail cell.”
“Let us do this one thing for you, at least, Aggie. Let us get you out of here. You don’t have to go home with us. We’ll have a car take you wherever you want to go, but please, just accept this.” Kyrin’s voice broke and he cursed. “Aggie,please.”
Her head dropped and her shoulders slumped, but she didn’t budge. “Officer, I’m not leaving with them. You shouldn’t waste your time by standing down here, waiting on a miracle.”
“Alright, guys. You heard her. I’m sorry, but you can’t stay.” The officer moved like he was going to touch Knight and held up his hands when Knight growled at him. “Don’t get yourselves in trouble. The men’s holding cell is full and on the other side of the jail.”
“Aggie, for the love of god, just-”
She cut me off by continuing her rant at her audience. As I dragged myself back up the stairs, though, I could hear the sadness in her voice. Sadness that I’d caused the woman who loved me.
44
***Aggie***
Istaredoutthebathroom window at the land Dad owned and beyond. I'd never expected to be back home at my age. I'd never expected to feel so bitter and heartbroken, either. My stomach soured as I rested my elbows on the sill and squeezed my eyes shut. Weeks had passed without a word from the guys. I hadn't seen them since the night I'd been arrested, since the night they'd pulled whatever strings they'd pulled to get me out of trouble.
It was hard to hold onto every bit of my anger when they'd saved me from facing serious charges. With a wave of their magic wand, they'd erased any evidence of what I'd done. Monroe couldn't make me pay for beating him up when the DA laughed in his face and accused him of faking the entire thing. They'd saved me from myself that night, but it didn't erase the things they'd done and said.
When I opened my eyes, the land blurred in my vision and I stared past it, seeing their faces as they begged me to leave the jail with them that night. I told myself over and over again that it wasn't real, that they didn't care about me, but their expressions haunted my dreams. I wanted to blame them for my life being what it was, even if Monroe had to shoulder most of the blame. I wanted to truly hate them, the way I'd told them I did. It just wasn't so. Even through the anger and pain I missed them.
The timer on my phone dinged and I jumped before grabbing it to shut it off. I didn't turn back to the bathroom, unwilling to face the truth waiting on me. My heart raced and nausea rolled over me. Like a monster creeping up behind me, the rest of my life rested precariously on the edge of the bathroom counter that I shared with Dad. I didn't want to look.
The missed periods could've been stress. The rolling nausea that lasted most of the day could've been stress. There were explanations for why my body was being strange. It had to be anything but what I feared the most. There was no way that life had been so cruel to me, as to tie me permanently to the three men who'd crushed my heart so easily.
I hated who I was in those days. Full of angst and fear, I was acting like a shell of myself. I'd never let emotions control me so thoroughly, but that was all I'd done since meeting the guys. I'd made one decision after another, all based on emotions and feelings. I'd given into every whim I'd had and let myself get lost in a dream.
Well. It was time to wake up and there was no one in the bathroom to face my real life monsters but me.
I forced my body to turn around and it felt like I was moving through sludge the whole time. Moving my eyes down to the pregnancy test, I felt my world shift and tilt off its axis. Gravity ceased to exist as I felt like I was floating away. I was brought back down hard by the display of the test. I knew the rules, what two pink lines meant. I knew what it was going to be before I even looked.
