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That time when I struggled to get down, Remy let me. I left the guys standing there, just in front of the stairwell, as I followed Bea into a bathroom down the hall. As soon as we were inside, she pulled the test out of her pocket and thrust it at me.
“Pregnant as hell, Memphis! It practically screamed at me before the time was even up.” She waved the test around and fanned herself. “I don’t know why but I’m feeling emotional. That’s dumb, right? So dumb.”
I grabbed her and hugged her, needing the connection myself right then. I was pregnant. It was something I’d never planned on being in my life, not after what I’d gone through as a kid raising kids. I’d been willing to do it for the money to take care of those same kids—now men—but really being pregnant was terrifying.
“Are you okay, honey? You’re very quiet.” She pulled back and cupped my cheek, lightly patting it. “You’re not going to faint, are you?”
I laughed and shook my head, but it sounded hollow to me. I was pregnant. We’d done what we had to do. There was no need to try anymore. “I should go tell them.”
“Well, maybe don’t do it in that melancholy way. I thought you’d be happy. This happened fast!” She gripped my shoulders and lightly shook me. “This was the plan, right?”
I nodded and sucked in a sharp breath. “Yes, it was. I mean, it is. Sorry, I know I should be thrilled, but…”
She read my mind. “You think it’ll mean no more practicing with the guys?”
I bit my lip and pushed my shoulders back. “It’s fine. I’m just being silly. Okay, here I go. How’s my face?”
“Looks like you just had a few orgasms, but what would I know about that?” She winked. “I’m pretty sure you have nothing to worry about, Memphis. Pregnant, or not, they’re still going to want you.”
With her words ringing through my head, I went out and found the guys standing just where I’d left them. Looking at each of them, I felt a wave of emotion try to pull me under and fought it off. “Hey.”
Boone stepped forward and tucked my hair behind my ears. “Everything okay?”
My smile felt shaky, but I pushed on. “Um. Everything’s great, actually. I…I took a test before we left.”
Boone raised his eyebrows. “And?”
I took a deep breath, afraid that everything was going to change after I told them the news. “We’re pregnant.”
Silence met my announcement and I felt my body burning with embarrassment. I wanted to crawl to the guesthouse and pretend like I’d never taken the test.
“We did it. Fast, too.” I laughed awkwardly. “So, I guess we don’t need to try anymore?”
More silence.
Bea came to my rescue, thankfully. She popped out of nowhere and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “I heard the great news! Congratulations, you guys. This is amazing.”
That seemed to snap the guys out of whatever trance they were in. Boone gave me a gentle hug and smiled. “We work fast, huh?”
Wells stroked my cheek. “Congratulations to us.”
Remy didn’t budge from his spot, but his face had shifted back to something harder and unforgiving. “Yeah, congratulations.”
I looked down at my feet, thinking they’d stop me if they wanted me to stay with them. “I guess I’ll head back to the guest house. Good job, team.”
I don’t think I’d ever moved so slowly, but they didn’t stop me. Remy did say something to Bea, keeping her from following after me. I walked to the guest house all alone, not noticing a single flower as I went. I walked straight into the shower and pretended I wasn’t crying as the water ran over my face. When it stung my ass, I braced myself against the tile wall and welcomed the pain of the hot water over Wells’ handprints.
I’d just been hiding from them and faking being sick to avoid them, but I’d changed my mind and wanted that time back. My stupid heart on my sleeve had done the dumb thing of wanting each of the Hawke brothers. I wasn’t done with them, but it didn’t matter. The first part of the contract had been filled and they wouldn’t need me again for over nine months.
I slouched up to my bed and flopped on top of it, not bothering to crawl under the blanket. Staring up at the canopy above me, I put my hand over my stomach and tried to imagine it huge and rounded with the baby.
I desperately missed Knox, the way I always did when I felt like breaking down and needed him to tell me that I was strong. He’d been in prison for over two years and would be in for a while longer. I talked to him over the phone once a week, but it was never enough. I’d never missed a call, even the week before when I’d had to run to Bea and beg her to tell me how to get the phone in the guest house to work. It’d just been unplugged.
Knox wasn’t aware of where I was or what I was doing. He was my little brother and I’d raised him, but he was still protective of me. He’d tried to kick Charlie’s ass more than a few times. I knew he would worry if I told him that I’d moved to another state with strangers to get knocked up. Rightfully so.
The jig was up, however, because I needed to talk to him and I didn’t want to hide anything. I just wanted his comfort.
33.
