AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I hugged him hard and kept my face buried against his shirt as my body proved that it wasn’t out of tears after all. “I’m so sorry, Jake. I lied to you, too, and that’s not how friends treat their friends. I messed up and don’t deserve your kindness. I’m so glad to have it, though.”
He rubbed my back and his sigh ruffled the top of my hair. “You deserve kindness. Everyone makes mistakes. Seems like you never lied about the important things, Memphis, like who you are as a person. I can handle that.”
“About the robbery?” I stepped back and looked up at him. “Don’t waste your time. You’ve done enough.”
He frowned over my head before leaning down and kissing my forehead. “I’m not going to waste my time.”
“Because you won’t try to solve an unsolvable, victimless crime?”
He backed out. “Because it’s not a waste of time if I catch the asshole and teach him a lesson.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but I was tired and my head was pulsing with my heartbeat. Jake left before I had a chance to add anything more, anyway. I watched as the car drove away and turned to see what all needed to be cleaned up, but my eyes landed on the open back door and Boone standing with his hands on his hips on the other side of it.
58.
***Memphis***
Icautiouslyapproachedtheback door and saw that all three Hawke brothers were standing around my back patio. They all looked at me at the same time and I’d never felt so small and insignificant in my life. I couldn’t meet their eyes. I could feel their anger. Maybe it was selfish to not want to see it, too, but I didn’t. I wasn’t strong enough.
“There was a robbery?” Boone’s relaxed voice was gone, replaced with a voice I was sure he reserved for telemarketers and patients who continued to eat terribly after heart surgery.
I stayed just inside the doorway and watched my bare toes on the wood floor. “A guy stole the necklace and shoes y’all bought me. I’m sorry.”
“Were you hurt?” Still tight and cold voiced Boone.
I shook my head. “No. I’m okay.”
Remy cleared his throat. “Good. We have business to discuss and then we’ll be going.”
I finally lifted my face to look at them and bit my lip so hard I tasted blood to avoid crying out loud. They looked like my guys, but they weren’t. They were closed off, shut down to anything I could say or do.
“You’re four months pregnant and the kid is ours. None of this negates the contract you signed, unless you have the money to pay the fees that you would accumulate for breaking said contract.” He saw me open my mouth and narrowed his eyes. “You’ll stay away from the main house. You should understand that you’re simply a guest in this house and you should act accordingly.”
Every word was a physical blow. I put my hand over my belly without a second thought, protecting our daughter from her father’s anger. She didn’t need to hear him angry. He deserved to be angry and had every right to rip me a new one, but I felt the need to shield her from it. I didn’t want her to see him the way I saw him then. Cold, angry, and hard.
“When the baby is born, we will have to find a legal way to end the contract that works for everyone.” Remy watched as I sagged against the doorway. “We’ll all just continue forward professionally. You’ll receive your money at the end of this pregnancy and you can be on your way.”
I pressed my knuckles to my mouth and moved out of their way as they stepped around me like I was a smear of shit on their mom’s beautiful floors. I was nothing to them. I was worse than nothing. I was trash and they’d finally seen all the gross parts of me.
They’d already reached the door when I found my voice. “It’s a girl. The baby, she’s a girl. Congratulations.”
They didn’t even slow down. They were gone and they were finished with me.
I slowly made my way upstairs and shivered at the memory of Charlie waiting on the bed for me. I stripped the bedding and crawled on top of the bare mattress, crying until it was dark outside and the mattress was damp beneath my face. I thought about calling someone, but everyone I knew either worked for the Hawke brothers or was in some sort of facility that didn’t allow for phone calls after a certain time.
The silence stretched through the night and I felt every minute of it. I was completely alone. Well, not completely alone. I had their baby growing in me and I could feel her kicking. The understanding that she would be taken away after I gave birth and I wouldn’t see her again kept me from speaking to her. I wasn’t sure I would survive becoming attached to the little life in me, just to lose her.
I stared at the wall next to the bed until birds started their morning songs and a lawn mower started up somewhere on the property. I listened as the mower drew closer and moved away. Each time it moved closer, I found myself holding my breath, hopeful. Maybe if it would just park outside the house and make enough noise to drown out the silence. Each time it moved away again, I felt one more little piece of me break off.
When the morning turned into afternoon and the clock downstairs let me know it was noon, I decided the silence was the problem. If it wasn’t silent, I was sure I could sleep and get some relief. I turned the radio on downstairs and turned it up as loud as it would go, until it hurt my ears. When I got back in bed, the music filled the loft space, leaving no room for silence.
As the room grew dimmer in the evening, I held my head in my hands and panicked as the thought that I might never sleep again embedded itself into my mind. Nothing was helping. I was just slowly going insane.
Another night without sleep and I found myself staring into the bathroom mirror the next morning, wondering who the lady staring back at me was. I had dark circles under my eyes and I looked ashen. My hair was greasy and falling out of my bun. My lips were chapped and cracked. I couldn’t remember a time when I’d looked so sick.
I knew I needed to eat and shower, but I didn’t know if I could. My body physically hurt from the losses and no amount of food or soap was going to make it better. I was just leaning on the age-old adage about time healing things. Time was one thing I had plenty of. Five more years of it.
I’d lost track of time completely when Bea showed up. I could tell by the look of horror on her face that mirror me was an accurate depiction of real me. I looked like a zombie. Another King zombie, I thought to myself while Bea pushed me towards the couch. Maybe Jackson had spread his zombie condition and I was rotting away, too. I wondered if a heartbreak could eat away at flesh and bones.
