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“Is it always like this?” I asked, closing my eyes.
“What? Sex?” Jonas asked.
“Yeah. Well. Never mind,” I said. I moved away and twirled the ends of my hair.
“Doesn’t matter what it always is,” Jonas said. “What matters is what you feel when we have sex together.” Jonas turned my head and kissed me. “I should get some work done. I have some press coming up. Part of my self-promotion for the book everyone has been asking me to write and publish.”
Yeah the book. I blushed. “Like me.”
“Nowyou,” he nuzzled my neck, “I don’t mind a bit.”
My brows came together. Because I already got a presentation out of him.
“What are you thinking about?” Jonas asked.
I smiled at him and relaxed my face, but decidedly didn’t tell him. Instead, I said, “You’re like a machine. Always working to do more. I admire that.”
Jonas lowered his head and sighed. “I didn’t have a choice, to be honest. It was the way I was brought up. My father chose every part of our lives. Planned it out from birth to death. Like all Cranes before him. Trinity School, then Harvard Business. My brother Vincent escaped, but not me.”
My heart constricted as I saw raw emotion on his face. I pulled him to my breasts and he rested his head. “That must have been hard. Did you want to do it?”
He snuggled close. “I don’t know. I believe it was now, but I never knew different. It was his expectation of me, and his expectation became everyone’s around him. He wanted me to be him. A leader. I was raised to set the bar, and do whatever it took to stay on top.”
“Yeah. Mathias Crane was renowned,” I said stroking his hair.So soft like silk. “You too.”
He exhaled. “When I was young in his business firm, he found out I let a friend get away with stealing a client. So he demoted me, and promoted him.”
I frowned. “That’s completely unfair. You must have been devastated.”
Jonas looked up and gave me a small smile. He rubbed the skin between my brows until I stopped frowning. “He told me his ‘fucking me over’ proved he was smarter and more committed than me. After that, I worked harder and took every client away from that friend. I crushed his business. That earned me my first partnership.”
I stroked the sides of his face. “That must have been so difficult.”
Jonas leaned into my hand. “It was. I learned then that if you want to succeed, you put your work first. And do whatever it takes to attain success and keep it.” He peered at me through a fan of thick lashes. So achingly beautiful, Jonas.
I kissed him and wrapped myself close, cuddle against his body. “That’s harsh, but you were under a lot of pressure.”
“I was,” Jonas said quietly. “But it was my father’s way. He didn’t have any friends, just business. My mother divorced my father when I was nine. Or ‘upgraded’, as my dad put it, to his friend. A friend he crushed in business too, mind you. She put us in boarding school the second we could walk, so I didn’t care or notice when she left, but that didn’t work for my father. He needed to see her suffer for leaving him alone.”
“Where is your mother now?” I asked gingerly.
He blinked. “She’s in Connecticut, at a nursing home. She has early onset dementia. Doesn’t even know or remember what she did.” The raw emotion on his face made it difficult for me to sit by, but deep down I knew he needed to be heard. I leaned in and kissed him. He exhaled and was silent for a few minutes, but then continued.
“Dani made it so that Paul and I go see her. That’s just how she is… was, with me. Followed me and led when I needed her to.” He cleared his throat, “As for my father, after my mother left, he made sure he was never alone again. He made… arrangements with women.” He flicked his eyes at me. “The only people that attended his funeral were me, Dani, and Paul,” Jonas said. “Dani and I promised each other that Paul would make his own path. Follow his dreams. I want him to be better than my father… and me.”
A pang went through my chest as I met his cloudy eyes. “I’m sorry for your father, but I don’t believe you’re like that.”
“I am. I became him now, anyway,” he said dully and sighed. “There you go again. Pulling me out of myself and getting me to share things I don’t tell anyone.” He rose up and clasped the sides of my face. “Only you, Lily. I don’t know how, but you make it easy. I did with Dani too, I guess, but….” He gazed into my eyes intently. “Even after I told you how cruel I have been in business; you still look at me the same. Like I’m special.”
“Youarespecial, Jonas. You work hard and care for your family. You employ thousands of people through your companies. You work tirelessly to help educate those coming after you. You’re caring, thoughtful, passionate, generous, and.…”
He stopped me with a kiss. “So are you, Lily.” A small smile playing on his lips. “Now enough about me. I would love to sketch you,” he said.
I rubbed my eyes. “Now?”
“Yes.” Jonas pecked my cheek then climbed off the bed, walking over to the closet and removing a sketchpad and a small box of art coals. He seemed almost shy as he made his way to the bed and sat back down and waited for an answer from me.
I grimaced. “My face?”
