AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I swallowed hard. “I can’t.”
“You mean you won’t,” his tone sharp. “Dani said you fell. You never mentioned anything to me yesterday. Now tell me the truth.”
I shut my eyes tight. “I am telling the truth. You say you want a companion, but you act like there’s more. It feels like more. And I can’t do it anymore.”
“Get on the cam, Lily. Let’s talk about this.” Jonas exhaled. “Please,” he added.
My heart ached at the anguish in his voice. “I can’t anymore. I just I can’t do this with you. Please understand. I feel like I want more. I’m getting attached to you. And you said you didn’t want that,” my voice faltered.
“You’re doing this over the phone?” he said in frustration. “Let’s talk this out. We can discuss this.”
I sobbed, “It won’t change my feelings. I can’t do this anymore. It’s hurting me. I can’t handle this companionship. I can’t be your companion anymore. Please understand.” The only sound was my pulse pounding in my ears. My hand gripped the phone tightly as tears poured down my face. Jonas had said he didn’t want a relationship, and I hadn’t left much room for negotiation. After a few more minutes, he finally spoke.
“I’m still here. Anything you need. I still want to know about you, Tiger Lily,” Jonas said his voice graveled.
I gulped. My heart shattering inside me. “I. I….” I sucked in air. “I. I just can’t right now,” I whispered and hung up.
I threw my phone, at the moment, I didn’t care if it ever worked again.
I didn’t hear it shatter and the thought arose,he could call again. But that wasn’t going to happen. There wasn’t a reprieve to hide away from the sorrow now gripping me. So I crawled under the covers, I curled myself in a ball, and cried. I cried for the photos and video of my parents I’d never get to see. I cried for the physical and mental attack by Declan.
I cried for Gregor’s friendship. For not being able to afford to pay for the Salome Love Legacy, and even the possible loss of my promotion. Most of all, I cried for not being enough for the man I’d fallen for, Jonas Crane. Overwhelmed, I climbed off my bed and started running in place. Then I went down to the floor and did crunches. Sweat poured off my body as I ran and squatted on the floor, doing every exercise I could dream of. Pushing my body to the limit.
I’ll make myself over. Like I did when Declan broke up with me. Somehow.My mouth was dry and my vision blurred until every piece of my body cried out in agony. But my thoughts racing through my head stopped. Crawling under the covers on my bed, I fell asleep.
Crushing pain. Physical and mental agony gripped me when my eyes opened. Or tried to as my eyelids were practically glued shut. Morbidly, I didn’t want to wake-up, but it was too late.
The room was clothed in darkness, but I wasn’t interested in time. I had plenty of time for reflection ahead of me. With no one in my life. Like it was two weeks ago.Two weeks?Impossible, but true. Jonas Crane filled every little piece of that time. Being in his presence, he seemed immense. Spending time with him seemed infinite. Nothing with him was inconsequential. I had fallen for him. His brand of attention, protection, and care.
Being his companion was by far the happiest time I had since my parents’ death. I ended it because I became too attached, too soon. More of his company, and I’d never want to leave it. I wasn’t good enough anyway. He pushed for me to expose my shame, my beaten face.
So I refused him. I covered my mouth as the realization hit me, just as severe as the blows I had sustained only the day before. I chose Declan.Again.
Perhaps Declan was right. We deserved each other. His hold was powerful, and I’d proven powerless. Forcing myself to my feet, I collected painkillers and headed to the kitchen to take them. The fragrance of the Tiger Lilies clogged my nostrils. Choking me on their sweet scent. I was a vagabond.A liar. A weak, fat princess.
The doorbell sounded.
“Lily, open up!” Natasha called out.
“Where is your key?” I called back. I frowned and stomped my bare feet over to the door, only to find it unlocked. “It’s unlocked!” I jerked the door open wide.
Natasha strolled by me with shopping bags in her hands. “My hands were full.” She strolled inside. “You shouldn’t sleep all day.”
I rolled my eyes and turned back to close the door.
“Lily,” a voice called out. I turned and froze in place. I inadvertently raised my hands, as if attempting to deflect an attack.
It was Dani Crane, Jonas’s ex-wife, standing a few feet from me.
Dani’s brows went north and her lips parted. “Lily….”
I burst into tears and fled from the door, reaching my bedroom door and moving to close it. I couldn’t believe she was here, or my reaction. I could hear her behind me and didn’t attempt to close my bedroom door. I was completely exposed. Not only as a liar, but also as someone who had allowed another person to hurt her. My throat ached, as if something was clawing it from the inside. Lying down on my bed, I curled on my side and closed my eyes. Weak and stupid.
I felt the bed dip next to me. A hand on my back. “No. Lily. You’re not weak and stupid,” Dani said, shaking her head. I didn’t realize I must have muttered the words aloud. “You were hurt by someone. I want to know who and everything that happened. I’m calling Jonas—”
“Does he know you came here?” I asked.
“Yes. We were both concerned when you said you fell. And you told him you didn’t want to see him anymore. Which, for the record, I don’t agree with. But let’s focus on what’s at hand right now.” The sound of a phone ringing alerted me to action. I didn’t want Jonas to know about what had happened to me.
