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CHAPTER ONE
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“Lily,” Dani whispered.
I snuggled against her warmth as Dani’s fingers traced a circular pattern on my back. My tears had dried up a while ago, yet I couldn’t bring myself to let her go. She held me well past what would have been considered polite. My need for touch and assurance outweighed my embarrassment.
We were only acquaintances at best. She was the ex-wife of my now ex-lover, Jonas Crane, making everything bizarre. Nevertheless, I clung to her as she continued to provide the comfort I needed, even if I didn’t deserve it. The circumstances that brought her to my bedside in Jersey City hadn’t disappeared. She had more she wanted to discuss with me, but if I had my way, that conversation would never happen.
I released my hands from around Dani’s slender waist and pulled away from her, allowing the emptiness to fill the absence of her arms. I steadied myself. This was what was left, and what I needed to get used to—feeling empty.
Loneliness was what lured me into accepting Jonas’s offer of companionship in the first place. It had been a chance to spend time with him as friends with benefits. But in a relatively short period of time, I had fallen for his company, his attention, and all that was part of his companionship. Still, my falling hadn’t been all my fault. His actions had blurred the distance he’d so wanted to maintain between us. It had left me with a deep longing for more.
For Jonas, being with me had been way to assuage his own loneliness after the end of his marriage. His packed schedule as a leader in the business world came at a cost. Dani was now engaged to their friend Alan. His son Paul, now a teenager, grew more interested in spending time with his friends than his father. Jonas went as far as to tell me once he felt like a failure—as though his family had moved on without him.
Looking at Dani, I realized the profound difference between my loneliness and Jonas’s. He may have felt lonely, but he wasn’t alone. Jonas had what I truly and deeply envied, what I had coveted since the death of my parents. He had a family.
“Your attack….” Dani was saying, interrupting my thoughts.
The words were a jolt to my senses. My eyes widened as they connected with hers. The warmth and empathy I found there touched me, but my conscience chimed in with the painful reminder as to why she was here, rather than back in her luxury apartment on the Upper Westside. My head dropped. I looked at my hands trembling in my lap—too overwhelmed to still them. The guilt of my lies and deception was laid out before us.
I lied to Jonas and told him I was sick to cover up what happened to me. He, in turn, contacted Dani to check up on me, as he was out of town. She sent me a care basket for a speedy recovery.
A lie that “led to other lies” as my father would have put it. He warned me that as a Salomé, his only daughter, I should never lie. I should hold myself to a higher standard because, eventually, you always got caught up and caught out.
But I didn’t listen. Instead, I’d told another lie, texting Dani that I wasn’t sick but had merely fallen down, as that was the only explanation that came to mind. Dani proved to be too keen, showing up unannounced and forcing the lie to collapse. There was no hiding the bruises across my face.
I wasn’t sick and I hadn’t fallen down. I had met up with my ex-fiancé Declan for lunch. He’d taken me to the West Village and hurt me. Declan Gilroy, the same man that I loved, who had cradled my head in his hands when my parent’s died, battered me.
I wished I could say that this was an isolated incident, but I would only be lying to myself again. Truthfully, though, I hadn’t anticipated his aggression this time. His violence had been sporadic over the course of our three-year relationship, but we were over now. Had been for quite some time. I should have been safe from his outbursts.
While I didn’t want to keep in contact with him, he’d made an offer we both knew I couldn’t refuse. He told me he had found missing videos and photos of my parents. I searched for years for the treasure he was offering now. I’d been sure it had all perished along with them in the mangled four-door sedan when a drunk driving accident had snatched everything away from me.
Sure, I had other videos and photos. But the ones he promised were the most recent and held the most important memories. They were the remnants of the life in our colonial home on Franklin Street in Quincy, Massachusetts. They captured a time and place when I was utterly and completely happy. I was loved and cherished. I had family.
Declan not only bruised my face, but my heart, leaving me completely empty handed. He told me he had “forgotten” to bring what he promised. When I’d tried to leave, he snapped. Shattering my hopes, I had collected myself and left—silent and empty. I had refused to tell anyone about what occurred and made excuses for him. The bruises would disappear. But the scar in my heart would remain. Protecting him had cost me the possibility of a future with Jonas.
Deep down, I knew it wasn’t just my lies and protecting Declan that made me break things off with Jonas. My needs outweighed the perimeters of his companionship. He awakened within me forgotten feelings of happiness and of being cherished. He lavished attention on me, gave me the comfort and touch that I missed, and left me wanting more from him. I’d fallen in love with him, utterly and completely. The pain and finality of his moving out of my life made fresh tears seep down my cheeks.
“But I think it necessary that we at least document what has happened here in order to protect you, should anything—” Dani reached out and squeezed my hands.
“Declan,” I murmured. I cleared my throat and said. “He wouldn’t hurt me again. I’m fine. Truly, Dani. Thank you for… everything. But I just want to put this all behind me.”
It was my automatic response. One I had told myself for years. But now doubt stabbed its needle into my broken heart as I tried my best to convince her. Another lie. A wave of nausea, followed by a dose of self-loathing, took hold of me. Yet I wasn’t ready to press charges against him, especially since Declan assured me this time he was going for anger management classes and rehabilitation.
“Okay, Lily, but I need you to do a couple of things before I go,” Dani said, calling my attention back to her.
She released my hands and I immediately missed the warmth and strength that seeped through the connection.
“I still think it’s necessary that we have some documentation, just in case you change your mind.” She held up her hand against the “I won’t” I was preparing to provide, standing up instead. “First, a lawyer friend of ours will take your statement and get a few photos of your bruises tonight.” She paced a short path along the length of my queen-sized bed. “I’ll call Ian.”
“Ian Unger?” I blurted.
“Yes.” Dani nodded in emphasis. “He’s in Tribeca. He’ll come over.”
I shook my head. “No. I met him with… Jonas, he’s his friend….” I let the words die as my stomach turned over. “I don’t want to involve more of Jonas’s friends in what I just wanted to put behind me. Please. I’ll speak to someone on my own.”
I swallowed against the lump in my throat.
