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I swallowed. “No, but yes… We’ll have at least a few days to talk about everything.”
“Okay. Give me a call or text the details. I can come and pick you up,” Mary offered.
“Thanks, Mary. And don’t worry. We’ll get it all done and have time to watch a movie or two.”
We laughed and hung up. I immediately dialed Gregor, but received his voicemail. I left a message requesting Monday and Tuesday off. Since I hadn’t taken off time in a long while, I didn’t think it would be too much, especially since he had offered a week off after he found out about my attack.
My stomach turned over as I thought about Declan, seeing him on the street, snarling at me. I started contemplating his lack of remorse, and that made me feel worse. I tried to push the thoughts aside and started packing for my trip to Boston.
Mary was right, I didn’t like to return there anymore. The memories of my life with my parents, my family, were imprinted there. A walk down Newbury Street. Our nights at the Boston Conservatory for my father’s performances with the orchestra. A shopping spree at Faneuil Hall sometimes came to mind. But what always overshadowed these visits was the ride down the main Highway 93, where their lives had ended.
I still remember the photo from the Boston Herald being handed to me by a neighbor “for safekeeping.” It showed our black, four-door mangled vehicle with the Jaws of Life truck in the foreground, where they had removed their bodies from the wreckage. The neighbor had no idea, of course, how much I didn’t want to see the wreckage or keep a copy of the article. One look imprinted the image on my mind, and challenged my will to live. One look had me transfixed before a mirror in my bathroom that night with a handful of sleeping pills, preparing to join them.
That didn’t happen, only because Declan was there, pulling the pills away. He had stayed up all night talking to me, telling me how much my parents would have wanted me to live. That was the Declan I had fallen in love with, and wanted to marry. That was the Declan I knew was still buried in there. But I’d turned him in, my conscience chided. Yes. I had.
I exhaled and slid the closet door open, eying the designer trolley Jonas had bought me.Jonas.I grabbed my backpack and shoved in a couple pairs of jeans, jerseys, and underwear. I then crossed the hall to the bathroom and cleaned up, before picking up a few toiletries to take with me and returning to my bedroom. I dressed and brushed my hair into a ponytail. I pulled out a plastic tub from under my bed in search of old college papers. I noticed a few loose pictures of my parents were out of the album. My heart pulled as I put them back, then my phone buzzed. I answered with my free hand.
“Hello, Lily. It’s Jonas.”
I dropped my papers. “Oh. Hello.”
“You didn’t call back last night, and I don’t blame you. I wanted to apologize,” he said.
I licked my lips. “I left a message, but it was late. You don’t need to apologize. We both did what we wanted to do.”
“You left a message with… Melissa.” I could hear him putting the pieces together. “She stayed over in—”
“You don’t need to explain anything to me,” I interrupted. “I’ll be fine. I’m fine.”
“I don’t believe you are. And from your tone, you’re jumping to conclusions. I don’t want to speak with you over the phone. I’ll come and pick you up, and this time we’ll talk. I promise.”
I sifted through the papers and took out a few. “I can’t. I’m heading to Boston to see Mary.”
“When will you be back?” he asked.
“Not sure. Probably Tuesday,” I said.
“I’ll be leaving for Texas on Wednesday. Then away to London for another two weeks.”
I blinked rapidly. “So you won’t be around here for a while,” I said in a small voice.
“That’s my life, Lily. I work and travel. I try to get home when I can.” He sighed. “How about I take you to Boston? I’m flying up to Connecticut today, but that won’t take long. We’ll ride the rest of the way from there.”
“You don’t need to go out of your way,” I started, then stopped. “Wait. You’re going to Connecticut to see your mother?”
“Yes. I need to settle some things there. Dani would normally go, but she’s at a spiritual retreat with Alan this morning. I didn’t have anything planned except taking Paul to the Knick’s game at Madison Square Garden, and that’s not until tonight.”
A flutter went through my stomach. Jonas had told me on one of our nights together that his mother suffered from early onset dementia, and that going with him to see her was one of the things Dani would do for him. It was just too hard for him to see her. His difficulty expressing his feelings wasn’t limited to me.
My heart ached at the thought of him going alone. I wouldn’t want to do that myself. “I’ll go with you.”
“Thank you. We’ll be at your place to pick you up in half an hour?” he said. “Sorry such short notice, but with visiting hours….”
“I’ll be ready. What should I wear?” I said before I caught myself.
“Want me to help dress you? I’ll be right over,” he teased.
I sucked in air. “No. I….”
