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“I’m about to leave for London. I decided to leave from New York instead of Texas. I sent someone else to oversee things in Texas in my place,” he said, and from his tone I gathered this was a big deal for him to do. “I decided to go early, so I could get back to New York City myself as soon as possible.”
“Oh. That’s good news. I bet Dani and Paul will be happy to hear that,” I said in a polite tone.
“There is something else,” he said. “I… I can’t stop thinking about you. I missed you the minute I left Mary’s. I missed you. I wanted you to know I do care about you. I feel for you. I just don’t know what those feelings are.”
A warmth went through me at his words, but what did they mean?
“Say you’ll see me when I return to New York as friends,” he said. “Give us a chance to spend more time together outside of a companionship.”
I licked my lips. “We’d see each other as friends?”
“Yes. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to get to know you outside of an agreement. I set things in my life in a way I can handle them. If you’re my companion, I’d expect sex and friendship. If you want to explore… feelings, I don’t want to complicate it more than friendship. Dani and I were friends before we dated and married.”
I felt like the ground had fallen out from under me. He was going to consider me like he did with Dani. I wasn’t sure my heart could handle him letting me go again, but he seemed willing to try for me. A ray of hope sparked inside me.
“So, we would see each other as friends. Would we be seeing anyone else?” I asked.
I left off sexually, as I feared the answer.
Jonas didn’t say anything, and the message hung in the air. He would get another companion, but be friends with me. Getting to know me, didn’t mean exclusivity. It wouldn’t be a relationship. It would be a new level of friendship. But was I willing to watch him with someone else and not me? Was I expecting too much? Everything spun around in my head.
“I’ll be open and honest with you, and I’ll expect the same back. If I were to take on a new companion… we’ll discuss it,” Jonas offered.
“Yes. I miss you and want to try your friendship. But honestly I don’t think I could handle seeing you with someone else, Jonas,” I confessed.
“We’ll talk about it when I return,” he said in a gentle tone. “I want to see you in a way that we both could handle. So?”
“Okay,” I said. “Yes. I’d like that.”
“Good.” He exhaled into the phone. “I’m glad.”
“Me, too,” I replied.
I felt like a weight had lifted off me.
“There is something else I want you to agree to,” he said.
“What’s that?” I asked, toeing the snow in the bank before me.
“I want to know what you’re not telling me. So when I come back, my expectation is that you tell me. Whatever it is, Dani and Ian aren’t saying… This hurts Dani. She feels ill keeping things inside. I want to know what’s going on and if I can help you.”
I rubbed the center of my chest. I knew the feeling. I didn’t want to hurt Dani. But after Mary’s reaction, I also didn’t want to tell him. I wanted to be seen as strong, like Dani, and able to handle and solve things without his pity or interference.
“I’m afraid to tell you,” I finally said, my voice almost a whisper.
“That’s a start. And it pleases me you admitted to that,” he said. “We’ll work on the rest.”
I bit my lip. “Why me?”
“Why do I want to try with you?” Before I could respond, he said, “You’re beautiful, smart, sweet, and gentle. You also have a little fire in you I can’t resist. I can’t stop thinking about the way you stood up for me against Vincent. You listen and have a giving heart—you took on the youth art program despite your limited resources. You’re easy to talk with… must I go on?”
“Oh please,” I grinned.
He paused and his voice softened. “There is something there between us. I don’t know what it is yet, but I want to try to find out.”
I would have given anything to wrap my arms around him. But I doubted this friendship idea of his would work when we were together, and I told him so.
Jonas made a low sound that caused a tremor to run through my body. “I doubt it, too, but we can try. But there is one more thing I want to make clear. Ian is off limits.”
