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Her eyes widened. “Arrested? This is serious. How could you be so selfish and stupid?” she spat. “I can’t live with someone this stupid.”
“I’m not stupid. This isn’t about you. If he was after you, he would have….” I spluttered.
She glared at me and I changed the course of my argument. “I will get the locks changed and that will settle everything.”
Natasha gave me a look, as if I was a stranger. “I never thought you, of all people, would do this to me. But I’m not your bitch. I’m leaving.”
“We have three more months here. You can do whatever you want after that. You can’t break the lease.”
My eyes narrowed.
She lifted her chin. “I will and I can. I’m telling the building manager what you did and they will get me out of the lease. I’m not staying where I’m not safe.”
She turned and walked out of my room. I followed after her to her bedroom, where she closed the door in my face.
I rapped on the door. “Come on, Natasha. Let’s talk this through. Don’t do this. You know I’d go through my savings trying to keep this place on my own.”
Natasha spoke through the door. “There is nothing left to discuss. You won’t be able to change my mind. I’m not risking my life or my stuff for your psychotic ex. Now, I’m calling the manager. You just better hope they let you stay here after I tell them what happened.”
My heart pounded in my chest as my mind raced along with all the things that were unfolding before me. I had fucked up. It was my responsibility. I had known all along we weren’t going to renew together, she wanted too badly to live in Manhattan. But now my own status in this place might be in question. When I heard Natasha connect her call, I turned and walked back into my bedroom and closed the door.
Shrinking in on myself, I sat down on the floor.The lie that grew into more lies.When would I ever learn? A lie that almost cost my friendship with Mary, had shamed my parents’ memory, lost me my roommate and now may get me in financial trouble with my building. Would they evict me?
All for Declan. Anger welled up inside me. I threw things around until I found my phone and called the demon that kept haunting me. Declan. He answered on the first ring.
“So, I’m no longer blocked now, you stupid fat bitch?” he seethed.
“I don’t want to talk to you, but you need to know. You broke in here. My roommate called the manager. So you may make your situation worse,” I hissed. “Now, give me the keys and return my book,”
“I was arrested. Me? At my business!” Declan said, ignoring me. “You betterhopeI’m not arrested again. Youbettertell them you forgot you told me to pick something up for you or I’ll rip this book to shreds.”
My body shook as I gripped the phone. He knew that book held a lot of meaning for me. It had been my father’s gift of pure love, and inspiration, and held some of my most precious memories. It had even connected Jonas and me on our first night together when he had awakened within me that feeling of being cherished and cared for. Yes, Declan indeed had in his possession something I would risk everything to have returned to me.
“Did you like the photo?” Declan asked and laughed derisively. “I’ve got more, too… some you haven’t seen. Some with a little less than that suit.”
“No you don’t. You’re lying,” I said with doubt in my voice.
“Risk it and see. I’ll send them to your boss or post them online. Try me,” Declan said.
My face crumbled. “No. Please don’t. I’m sorry. I’ll make this right,” I repeated over and over, a broken record.
Truly, I had come apart. After a while, I finally quieted.
“You done?” he chuckled.
“Why do you hate me?” I asked, my voice so small.
“Hate you? No. I don’t hate you. I love you. I still love you and still want to marry you. I did this to help you understand how much it hurt to find out you tried to destroy my life. But now, I forgive you,” Declan said.
“Please, don’t do this,” I sobbed.
“Shhh. It’s over now,” he cooed. “I wish I was there to hold you.”
I wiped my cheek. “I don’t know what I can do. It’s out of my hands now. I made a mistake. I didn’t think… I didn’t want to ruin your life.”
“You never think. You let everyone else think for you. I found it exhausting having to think for you all the time,” he said.
I sniffed. “Will you return my book?”
