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“I’m not,” I said. “I’m Jonas’s friend, and I take responsibility for last night. Yes, I knew you were something. But I… I wanted Jonas and I don’t regret it.”
I could feel his eyes on me.
“I don’t either, Lily,” Jonas said. “I wanted you, too.”
“Jonas. I understand you having sex last night and I forgive you,” Melissa said, breaking apart our moment. “But I still don’t understand why she is here. I know you feel sorry for her, and she looks dreadful, so she might be a little sick, but really? She’s so fragile. How could she manage to fit into your life? She’s not from our circles. She can’t possibly have experienced half the things I’ve done sexually with you. She can’t handle or meet your needs. Hell, she was ready to run away before you came in.”
I looked at Jonas, and my heart tumbled over at the pain and distress on his face.
“I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to mess up your life. I didn’t get sick on purpose to manipulate you. I got sick because… because of Declan. And my parents. And everything. She’s right, I’ve been weak. But I never wanted that to affect you. I pushed you away because I didn’t want my problems to fall at your feet. I tried.”
I wiped my face and gulped in air as my last words became incoherent. “I did what I did to protect you and everyone you and I care about. Because I ruin everything, and I didn’t want to ruin you. I left out love, Jonas. Because I do love you.”
I put my head in my hands. The seat next to me dipped and I felt Jonas’s hand rubbing my back.
“There she goes again. Trying to manipulate you,” Melissa chided.
“I’m surprised by you, Melissa. You of all people. A psychiatrist, a women’s advocate,” Jonas bit out.
Melissa jutted her chin. “I am, and I’m proud of that, but this is my personal life and our relationship. I love you, Jonas, and I believe in us. I relocated to Texas to be closer to you….”
“And I told you not to do that,” Jonas said, his voice softening.
“I did it for us. I’m willing to compromise and meet your needs. I know you, your family, everything. She doesn’t even know the half of it. What can she love? It’s all lust or desperation for a hero to rescue her from her circumstances. That much I know for sure,” Melissa said bitterly.
“Enough. Get out, Melissa,” Jonas demanded, heat taking over his voice again.
“You told me you would give us a chance,” Melissa pleaded once more, her voice now pained. “But for her, you’re altering your life. That’s not healthy for you or her. I’m very disheartened by your abrupt change, Jonas. And I believe I deserve more than just a call informing me you’re basing yourself back in New York. It’s not like you to act so impulsively.”
We were all quiet for a moment then Jonas said, “Actually, I’ve been planning a return to New York for a while. Most of my business is here. I just moved the date forward. I don’t want Lily going back to an apartment where she was violated. That’s not healthy or safe.”
He stroked my hair to let me know the latter part of his speech was for me. I didn’t answer, as I was too overwhelmed to say anything. When he continued, his focus returned to Melissa.
“As for us—”
“Stop, Jonas.” Melissa said. “We can talk about this in private.”
Jonas snorted. “There is no more privacy,” he said sardonically. “I didn’t invite you to Texas or New York. You came all on your own. I offered my suite at your disposal today out of kindness. Yet you spit on that hospitality and have now not only insulted Lily, but you did so in front of my son.”
“I’m sorry, Jonas,” Melissa looked down at her hands.
“Say it to Lily,” Jonas said in a curt tone.
Her mouth twisted. “No. I wouldn’t mean it. You deserve better than she will ever be able to give you,” she said, looking up and meeting his eyes.
“Like you?” Jonas said with snark. “No. I want Lily.”
Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I took in his words.
“Jonas, please,” Melissa said nasally. “I came here because I want us to be together. Think about how I feel, you moving in with your ex-lover.”
“Moving in?” I mumbled.
“Melissa,” Jonas said, exasperated. “I’m not helping Lily to hurt you.”
“You could help her and not live with her,” Melissa said irritably. “Surely, you understand my concern. She will just run off again, and where will you go? Right back to me, like the last time.”
There was a hint of double meaning in the way she said “last time.” I stilled next to Jonas.
