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“Anyway, I don’t live in the dorms anymore. I have an apartment in Chelsea. You can stay as long as you need until you find your own place.”
I opened my mouth and closed it. Sophie was being awfully accommodating, but I also knew she didn’t do favors without expecting the same in return. Not to leave out that Paul didn’t like her drug use—not that I have to answer to him. I’d recently seen her with Landon and his mom. She seemed to be happier and settled in a better relationship. But still, I had to know what she would want in return.
“You need a favor?”
“Yes, I do.” She laughed. “Landon has a friend who has a yacht off Nantucket. He likes to game and golf. I’ll be bored, but if you come, then we can swim and hang out.”
She’d never invited me anywhere.Has being with Landon mellowed her in some way?“Um …we’ve never done that before. Hang out.”
“We can start now. What do you say?”
Internally, I didn’t believe I could trust Sophie, so my answer was a hard no. But did I really have other options?
Sophie’s place wasn’t ideal, but it would give me the time I needed. It was time I found my own way, which meant I needed to accept Sophie’s offer.Even if I don’t trust her.“Okay.”
The nurse finally called us back to visit Dad. We were about to go in, but Mom stopped me.
“Let’s give Dad his best girls.”
I knew what she meant. Dad needed us to treat him like he was still our superhero—who he’d always been for us.
Dad was the guy everyone called to move or fix something. He was proud of his service as a chef in the Navy and that he married his sweetheart.
Before he got sick the first time, he was built like a truck, a robust muscular mountain man. I’d been a freshman in high school when he collapsed, and at once, he changed. I remember walking inside the hospital room, and it was as if he’d dropped a hundred pounds overnight. He was small, almost fragile. I burst into tears, and Dad was helpless, unable to comfort me. And I could see was the immense pain in his eyes as Mom took me away.
After we left, I remember that Mom sat me down. “We need to help Dad. He needs to have his best girls, his cheerleaders, to help him fight his way back. If we give up, he’ll give up.” So, from there on out, we treated Dad as if everything was fine. But I’d forgotten to do that this morning. And now, I had to do better so he’d get better.
Locking my heavy heart down tight, I walked in with a big smile on my face. Still, my eyes couldn’t help but see more changes in his appearance. There was a palish-gray tint to his skin, except for his eyelids, which were red and waxy, like someone had coated them with petroleum jelly. The machines he was hooked up to were noisy, and the temperature felt too cold for his small room. There was more, but I stopped once his eyes opened. Right away, I could see the fear in them as he stared at Mom and me.
“Well, look who’s taking up a bed in the ICU,” Mom teased him.
“Yep. Dad wants the five-star treatment you simply can’t get in a regular room,” I joked along, and Mom rubbed my back to let me know I did well.
He tried to move, and Mom tutted at him. “You’re going to upset your nurses, and you know how fussy we can be.”
Dad sank into the bed and blinked at us.
“Good. The quicker you heal, the quicker you come home.” Mom pressed her lips to his forehead. “The doctors said the surgery was a success. Rest up, honey. I love you.”
“I love you so much, Daddy.” I kissed his cheek and squeezed his fingers.
The nurse returned right at the five-minute mark. “I’m sorry, but he’ll need to rest.”
Mom rubbed his arm lovingly and kissed him again. “I’ll see you on my shift overnight. Don’t worry about a thing.”
“Dad, I’ll be here as soon as they let me return.” I kissed him again.
We left his room and walked down the hallway. Mom stopped walking and turned to me.
“He looked so….” Her voice wavered. She wanted to say good and give me the comforts her Nurse training had taught her.But I knew what she was thinking because I thought the same. Dad aged overnight. He was paler, grayer, breathing shallower. And much worse, he looked afraid. So afraid he’ll have to leave us behind.
I sobbed hard in my head, but outside I pulled Mom into a tight hug in the hallway. Seeing dad hooked up to a monitor and breathing tubes was hard for me, but for Mom it had to be even more devastating after all the years they shared together.Dad is her life.
When we broke apart, I asked Mom, “Do you need me to stay for a while? My flight is booked for tomorrow, but I can stay longer.”
In my mind I came up with a plan to take emergency leave from classes. Surely, I couldn’t leave Mom all alone.
“No, you go back to school,” she said, smiling. “Dad needs to get to work healing, and I will have limited visits for a while. I have to work, but Uncle Jan and Aunt Olivia will cover the times I’m not there. I have scrapbooking, hiking club, and fair planning for the summer to keep me busy.”
