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“Ben, can we stop…stop at…”
I pressed my hand against the sharp pain in my stomach.What should I do? It could be nothing, but if it’s something big, I’ll need to face it.“Can we go to Dr. Foster’s? I’m in pain. Or maybe take me to the school clinic?”
“No. The press would get the information. Dr. Foster is as private as they come here.”
I hesitated, but gave in. “Okay.”
“I’ll call ahead so she’ll know to expect you. What do you want me to tell her?”
“I-I’m having sharp pains, like menstrual cramps.” My face warmed. “Uh. Yeah, that’ll work. Thank you, Ben.”
What’s wrong with me?
Ben sped off from the curb and headed toward Park Avenue, which wasn’t too far from the Hudson. We were there within ten minutes. After climbing out the car, Nurse Felicia greeted and escorted me to a room. I changed into a gown and clutched my stomach.Ouch.In the bathroom, I discovered a little spotting.Spotting from my period?
I waited for Dr. Foster.
She came in and did a pelvic exam. “Let’s make sure the pain’s not pregnancy or miscarriage. Okay? I’ll be right back with the results.”
I took a shaky breath.Surely this is just stress and an early period …Still, I nodded in agreement. The wait had me on the edge of my seat. As much as I hoped it was just my period starting, it was difficult to avoid considering the consequences of being pregnant. I wasn’t certain Paul would still want me in his life if he had his much-wanted heir.If I didn’t have any contact with the baby, would he or she feel as abandoned as I’ve felt over the years?
My heart grew too heavy.
The door opened again.
“Am I pregnant?” I asked.
Dr. Foster smiled. “No, you’re not pregnant. It’s your period. You can still have periods on the pill. Did you have one the first month?”
“I don’t believe I did.” I shook my head. “The cramps were why I came in. I’ve been very stressed with the end of the semester.”
“I see.” She nodded. “You have a low-grade fever, and you’re ten pounds lighter than your last appointment. I don’t prescribe painkillers unless it’s a dire necessity. What you need is over-the-counter pain relief medicine and, most of all, rest.” She gave me two pain tablets and water. “I’ll refill your birth control pills, too. You’ll feel better soon.”
“Dr. Foster? You don’t need to tell Paul, do you?” I chewed my lip as she hesitated.
“You gave him legal consent. If Paul asks, I’ll have to disclose your visit. If you want that to change, you should tell him.”
“Sure,” I murmured.
“I’m still your physician, though. Communicating with your partner is a healthy part of a relationship. I was expecting you earlier. Why didn’t you come?”
I hesitated. “Will you tell Paul what I say?”
“No. This stays between you and me.”
“I was afraid I was pregnant.” I sighed. “Paul doesn’t want a child with me. He wants one on his own.”
She frowned. “Paul may say that, but I’ve known Paul since he was a child. If you were pregnant, he’d want your baby and do whatever it took to make sure you and the baby were healthy and happy.”
I flicked my eyes down to my trembling hands.Oh, Paul will want our baby, but for himself. Will he really raise my child without me?
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, but please try to de-stress and talk to him. He’s a good man.”
That was undeniable. Most of the time I felt like there was nothing in the world Paul wouldn’t do for me. Then he’d put up walls when I got too close. A child would mean a permanent relationship—something he no longer believed in. Yet, there was no denying that he cared for me.
I changed back into my clothes and walked out of the room and froze.
