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Tove kept asking her that. Kayla didn’t know what to say. If she opened her mouth at all, things might end with her vomiting all over the slopes.
They followed the signs to a “blue” trail that Tove continued to say was exactly what she looked forward to that day. Kayla wanted to joke that there were other things for them to look forward to that night, but Tove was so lost in the Mt. Hood activity fog that she probably wouldn’t hear a thing.
“Cold, isn’t it?” Although bundled up as much as anyone else, Kayla’s teeth chattered.Could be fear, I guess!Now that they were at the edge of the trail, looking down onto the fluffy white mountainside while the pale dots of the people in front of them disappeared, she knew that adrenaline drowned her veins.
“Do you want to go first? Seems it’s been a while since you did this.”
“Oh, yeah, it’s been a while.” Kayla’s awkward laughter was buried beneath an icy wind gust. “A few years.”
“I thought you said you and your brother went skiing a year ago?”
“You know how it is, babe. Covid killed all sense of time! Four years only feels like one!”
“Uh-huh.” Tove glanced down the slope, but her sense of adventure was diminished. “I think you should go first. I’ll be six feet behind you in case anything happens.”
In case what happens?Oh, like the inevitable? Kayla completely biffing it and ending up half-dead, if notdead?Boy, the truth would be out then!She’ll know I lied. Or she’ll think I’m so pathetic that she won’t want to be seen with me around here again.
“I…” Kayla took one step in front of the other. It was enough to teeter her forward, forcing her face-to-face with the God of Mt. Hood.
Her life flashed before her eyes.Mom. Grady. My nephews. Chrissy. The stupid shit I’ve gotten myself into!
She hadn’t gone down the slope yet. Probably because she knew she’d be dead meat.
“Ahhhhh, I think….” Kayla attempted to step backward. Yet, so far, she was only familiar with inching forward on a piece of sporting equipment she never really used before. Walking backward was a different beast – one that almost sent her tumbling down the mountain!
Tove snatched her by the jacket and pulled. Kayla flailed her arms like a windmill, a shriek echoing in the icy air.
“What’s wrong?” Tove dropped her poles and managed to secure Kayla in her embrace. Yet it wasn’t enough for the woman who swore she was about to die. “You okay? Would you prefer we not do this right now?”
That question was so forceful that it made Kayla dizzier. “I don’t think I like this trail,” she squeaked.
More people showed up behind them. The group of three pointed to the sign and then signaled that they would patiently wait for Kayla and Tove to go down first. Kayla felt such tremendous guilt that tears welled in her eyes.
“Good God,” Tove muttered. “Let’s get you over here.”
The three men were surprised to find out they were going first. An employee approached to ask if Kayla needed medical assistance.To be fair, I’m about to faint.It wasn’t only the adrenaline from fear. It was a heavy, fiendish embarrassment. Kayla wasn’t sure if she had ever been so humiliated in her life… and she hadn’t even fallen!
“I think we’re fine,” Tove said to the park employee. “She got dizzy looking down the ridge.”
The employee hung around a few more seconds before returning to the lift. Kayla sat in the snow and didn’t move until she was sure she wouldn’t suddenly lunge forward and fall face-first into her god-awful death. When she wrapped her arms around her knees, the back of her skis poked her in the ass. She didn’t care. She knew how to look like she meant to do that!
“I’m sorry!” she shouted from the safe hole she had carved for herself between her knees and chest. “I’ve actually never done this before!”
Tove hesitated before touching the top of Kayla’s head. “I can tell.”
The mountain had never been colder. Nor had the feelings between them ever been so cool.Like my heart is frozen in my chest…Surely, Tove’s invigorating love for Kayla was now icier than the deepest cave beneath their skis.
Kayla knew she’d have to explain herself. This was the first big lie she had been caught in, and there were more. If Tove pulled the threads of this story apart, what stopped her from unraveling every deceit Kayla had convinced herself was true?
Chapter 14
“Idon’tunderstand.”Tovesat with Kayla in the nearest café on the mountain. While cramped quarters closed in around them, people filtered in and out so quickly that few had the chance to linger and wonder why this pair of women were having such a hushed conversation at their bistro table by the wall. Their skis were left outside, and their gloves were piled on the table. Hot drinks wafted steam into their cold faces. The excitement of other skiers filled the air, but it wasn’t enough to bring Kayla out of her funk. Nor did it explain what had weighed upon Tove’s chest since she realized her girlfriend had lied about being an experienced skier. “Why would you lie about something like that? It’s so dangerous… like if you had lied about knowing how to drive and got behind the wheel of a car.”
Kayla folded her face in her arms like she had at the top of the slope. Only now her hair was unleashed from her helmet, falling in brown ringlets down the side of the table. Tove refrained from rubbing the top of Kayla’s head. It was too much like a mother consoling her child.Especially when that kid might be in trouble right now.
“Are you okay?” That was a common refrain between them. One Kayla refused to answer half of the time. “I can’t tell what’s going on anymore.”
Finally, Kayla lifted her head. She pushed her long hair out of her face and sputtered a breath that almost knocked Tove back into the person sitting behind her. A barista called out someone’s Americano. A whole group of skiers, including two children who had accomplished their beginning course, waltzed in for snacks and drinks. The father of the group announced that his kids got whatever goodies they wanted for being such great sports on the slopes. It unlocked one of the happy memories Tove had of her childhood with her extended family.Uncle Sven bought me hot chocolate right here on this mountain because I had fallen during my lesson but didn’t cry, unlike his son.That son was now about to become head of the family. Go figure.
