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What the hell was wrong with her? He hadn’t done anything she hadn’t wanted! She’d had every opportunity to say no. It wasn’t as if he’d actually done anything—as his body was only too willing to complain about!
Lukas winced and swore under his breath as he began to move about the boat, gathering up her dress and shoes, and his own clothes. His arousal began to abate a bit, but his fury and bafflement were growing exponentially as he stuffed his feet into a pair of deck shoes, then began to close up the boat. He took his time, grinding his teeth the whole while.
Only when he was sure his dad wouldn’t even know he’d been here did he head back to the car. Holly was sitting in the front seat, looking mutinous, staring straight ahead. It was hard to equate her rigid, icy posture with the girl who had minutes before melted in his arms.
It wasn’t hard. It was impossible.
Lukas tossed her dress and shoes on her lap. “You forgot something.” His voice was bitter, ragged, raw. He couldn’t help it.
Holly wadded them into a ball and wrapped her arms around them, still refusing to look at him.
Lukas flung himself into the driver’s seat and stuck the key into the ignition, but he didn’t turn it on. He just sat and stared at her for a long moment, willing her to face him, to talk to him, to admit that she’d wanted him just as much as he wanted her.
But Holly clearly wasn’t admitting anything. Jaw tight, arms hugging her dress and shoes, she just said again, “Take me home.”
He didn’t move. “You’re going to pretend it didn’t happen?” he demanded. “It happened.”
“I didn’t want it to happen!” In the harsh glare from the lights of the parking lot, her eyes spat fire. “I love Matt!”
Lukas felt her words like a blow to the gut.
“You did, though.” Holly’s eyes glistened. Were those tears that were accusing him? “You got what you wanted, though,” she said bitterly. “Didn’t you?”
And wasn’t that the joke of the century?
What he wanted? He wanted Holly understanding—and welcoming—his feelings. He wanted Holly recognizing her own feelings for him.
Had he got that? Not even close, Lukas thought, his throat tightening. Yes, those were tears brimming. As he watched, one slid down her cheek.
Perilously close to crying himself, Lukas didn’t bother to answer. He started the car.
In silence, he drove her home.
CHAPTER FOUR
LUKAS LEFT THE next morning.
Thank God his father, intending to go to Greece on family business, had jumped at the chance to send Lukas instead.
So Lukas had never had to face Matt, had never been forced to lie to his best friend’s face about what had happened that night. He’d lain awake for hours after he’d dropped Holly off. He’d spent them tossing and turning, reliving every moment, aching with unfulfilled desire as well as the growing guilt and shame that came with finally admitting to himself that he’d misjudged everything, that he’d betrayed his best friend.
It was a blessed relief to get to the airport, to put miles between himself and the scene of the previous night’s debacle and the people he didn’t want to face.
He didn’t call Matt. Instead, he sent a text from the airport, explaining the trip to Greece was a business emergency, that there was no choice, he had to go.
It was the truth.
But the bigger truth was that he didn’t want to face Matt. And he couldn’t face Holly.
He was raw and aching, and he could barely think about what had happened the night before without flinching away from the memory. He’d been so gratified at her response, had barely believed it was happening, yet at the same time thought he was proving a point. If she was responding, she had to realize that she couldn’t blithely marry one man when she had feelings for someone else. For him.
But evidently she hadn’t. She’d been furious.
So why had she let him touch her if she felt that way?
Lukas never did figure that out. And he sure as hell had no one to ask. Finally, he told himself it was just one of the mysteries of women. But it hadn’t helped.
God knew what Holly thought of him after that night. Lukas didn’t want to know. He knew what he thought of himself—that he had betrayed them all that night by taking what he wanted, by being selfish and immature and greedy. He couldn’t have Holly. He had no right to her.
