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He actually found that he was glad he’d been able to apologize, even a dozen years too late.
Lukas could have just dropped her off at the front door. It was clearly what she would have preferred. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Whatever it was that had attracted him to Holly years ago still persisted. And things were different now. She didn’t belong to Matt. So as they approached the condo building, before she could say, I’ll just get out here, Lukas said, “We need to discuss the deed of gift.”
“Why?” Holly looked at him, startled.
“I want to know more about the school, what they’re going to do with the boat.”
“I’ll have Father Morrison send you a brochure on the school, and—”
“I want to talk to you about it.”
“When?”
“How about now?”
He thought she’d refuse, would come up with some reason that it wouldn’t work. She could have pleaded that she needed to shower and clean up, which she certainly did. But he waited, and finally she said, “I guess you’d better come up then.”
She didn’t speak the rest of the way up to her flat. Only when they were inside and he was drinking in an atmosphere of cozy simplicity with a world-class view did she say, “I need a shower before we talk. There are books and magazines on the table if you want. I have coffee and tea.”
“I’ll be all right.”
“Well, if you want some, help yourself. The fixings are right there.” She nodded toward the countertop in the kitchen on the other side of the bar that separated it from the living room.
But his attention had been caught by a stack of professionally done flyers on the bar. They advertised a condo for sale. Holly’s condo.
Lukas picked up one of the flyers. “You’re moving?”
On her way toward the bath, Holly glanced back at him. “Yep. In August.”
“Find another place?” This one had never seemed like Holly to him. He wasn’t surprised.
“No. I’m leaving.”
“Leaving?” He frowned. “The city?”
“The country.” And Holly gave him the first really bright smile he’d seen from her today. “I’m joining the Peace Corps.”
Lukas stared, feeling oddly as if he’d been punched. “You’re joking?”
Holly looked indignant. “You don’t think I can do it, maybe I’m not tough enough? Not resilient enough?”
“Of course you can do it.” Holly was one of the toughest, most resilient people he’d ever known. As a kid she’d taken anything he and Matt had dished out. And as an adult, well, she’d survived losing her husband, hadn’t she?
“It’s just—” Lukas swallowed—that he’d just got back, that he’d just seen her again. They’d finally made peace. “You live here,” he protested. “You’ve always lived here.”
Holly’s smile faded. “I don’t think ‘always’ is in my vocabulary anymore.”
Oh, hell. Lukas opened his mouth and closed it again. He rubbed a hand over his hair. “So, you’re leaving because of Matt? You don’t think that’s maybe a little drastic?”
“Dying was a little drastic,” Holly said wryly.
“Well, yeah, but...” Lukas straightened his shoulders. “He didn’t do it on purpose.”
“I know that!”
“I know you know. It’s just... I’m surprised, that’s all. I thought you loved your job.”
She gave him a wary look. “How do you know that?”
“Matt always said so. He said you were fantastic at it, that the kids loved you.” Every time he’d seen Matt, his old friend had spent much of the time talking about Holly.
Lukas had told himself he didn’t want to hear, but he had never changed the subject. In fact, he’d hung on every word.
“I like teaching,” Holly allowed. “I like the kids.” There was a renewed warmth in her tone, and he remembered seeing that warmth when she’d been with them that afternoon. “They were what kept me sane,” she reflected with a wan smile. “After.” After Matt’s death, she meant. “They needed me. They made me focus on something besides coming home to an empty house. An empty life.” She paused again, then her face brightened a bit. “But there will be kids where I’m going. I’m teaching there, too.”
Lukas still wasn’t convinced. “Where’s there?”
