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I wasn’t expecting the one person who became my fake fiancée to make everything more complex.

That’s why I’ve come to my happy place, where I can be distracted and take everything off of my mind for a while. I’m in the Congregate Care unit, a place where I can actually help out and make a positive difference in the world. No one knows that I do a lot of charity work with the underprivileged kids of the city, but they don’t have to know. This is just for me.

“Remy, this check is huge!” Mary Lou calls out as soon as she sees what I’ve handed her this morning. “Are you sure about this? You have already given us so much.”

I chuckle with laughter. “I know you guys want more equipment for the playground, and I want to contribute to that. Plus, you can buy more books. The collection is looking a little shabby.”

Mary Lou laughs and nods. She might be acting all casual about it, but I know how much all the staff here appreciate my involvement. I actually spent a lot of time here before making my first donation, playing with the kids and volunteering my time, to check that this was the right charity for me. I know there are a lot of corrupt charities out there, that will use the money wrongly, and I don’t want to be any part of that. But Mary Lou and her team really care about these kids and want to give them what they can.

Some of these poor children don’t have a lot of anything. Their families live in poverty or their home life is horrible. The Congregate Care unit is the only space where they can really be at peace.

“Well, we can have a nice dinner for the kids this weekend then,” Mary Lou continues. “I’m sure they will all be really grateful to you for that much.”

A tugging on my pant leg draws my eyes downwards where I see Alice, a child who gets alotfrom the unit, smiling up at me. “Hey, are you coming out to play with us today? Ben and Rebecca want to play tag, but we need some more players. They want you to play with us.”

I immediately nod. These wholesome kids who just need a bit of respite from their lives force everything else out of my head. Their smiles and happiness which come from something so small allow me to ground myself in reality.Nothingis that important, ever. Not even the fuck ups that I can’t seem to stop making when it comes to Zoe. Even if they feel devastating right now.

I head outside to the playground I paid for, excitedly wondering how they will expand it, and I play some games with the children for a while. I don’t even feel guilty about missing work when I’m here, because my volunteered time is so worth it. Spending time with these children today only makes me want to do more for them. I will have to speak to Mary Lou.

But I also want to spend my time off work with my own son, which is why I have messaged my mother to meet me here at lunchtime for a picnic. My lifestyle is busy, and it can be that way because Mom is there to look out for Wyatt, but I know I could do more. Another mistake I make is getting too lost in my work, telling myself that I need to do this for our future, without thinking about the present. I would love to correct that, as much as I can, before it’s way too late.

The only problem is it’s hard for me to see Wyatt without seeing Lisa, too. Even three years later, I find it a bit of a struggle to see him, and to know that she isn’t here anymore. I guess that’s something I really need to work on, along with everything else I’ve messed up too.

God, I really am in a mess, aren’t I? Everything is messy in my life. Sleeping with Zoeagainhas only piled it on more. She needs to keep her distance. How can I tell her that us being together intimately only makes things worse? If she can’t already see that, then I need to make her understand one way or another.

“Remy, before you go…” Mary Lou calls out as she catches me putting my coat on. “Can I have a word with you?” I follow her into her office, wondering what this might be. “The kids want to have a bit of a party for you, to say thank you for everything that you have done.”

“Oh no, you don’t need to do that.” I shake my head rapidly. “I appreciate it, but you know I don’t do this for the attention, I don’t need any kind of party.”

“I knew you’d say that, but the children really want to do this for you. It was actually Alice’s idea. I can’t let them down by not doing it. It won’t be anything massive.”

I sigh heavily. “Okay, fair enough. If it’s small, I can come in next week?”

“I will text you within a day, if that’s alright?” I nod. Mary Lou lets out another little laugh. “Sorry, I know that you have a busy schedule, but the kids…”

“The kids are more important. I know that. But I do need to leave now.”

We say our goodbyes with promises to see one another the following week, before I head outside to find my mom. Wyatt instantly lets go of her hand to run and hug me. I hold him for as long as I can before he gets irritated and wiggles free. I make a silent promise to myself as I hold my son to put him first as well. I always have done that, to the best of my ability, now I just need to be better. Simple. Wyatt deserves the best parents that he can get.

“Do you want to go to the park nearby?” I ask my over-excited son, who of course agrees. “Come on then, it’s just over there. Let’s take a walk, shall we?”

I might be exhausted from running around with Alice and her friends, but Wyatt has given me another surge of energy. I’m actually starting to push my Zoe related anxiety to one side, to focus on what I can change and make better for my family.

“So, what’s happening with you?” Mom asks sharply, reminding me that I’m not out of the woods yet. Not if she has anything to do with it. “Why are you not at work?”

“I wanted to fulfill my charity commitments today, that’s all.” I offer her a one-shouldered, blasé shrug. “Plus, I know Wyatt likes this park, so I thought it’d be nice.”

Mom frowns. Not the reaction I want. “And your little girlfriend isn’t here?”

I just about resist the urge to roll my eyes. “She’s not my ‘little girlfriend,’” I remind her. “She’s my fiancée, and she’s working today so she can’t be here.”

“Working… right. Acting. And she’s happy with that job, is she? Are you happy with it?”

“Mom, it isn’t up to me what Zoe does for her job. She loves acting.”

God damn it, I might not have invited her if I knew that I’d be in for the third degree. I would love it if Mom was just happy for Zoe and I like I thought she would be. This is ridiculous. I wanted to calm her down because Freddie freaked me out with my comments that I’m “killing her,” but meeting Zoe seems to have made her worse.

If this was just about Mom, and the press wasn’t an issue, then I might put an end to it here and now, but Zoe has a lot to gain from this as well, which is why I don’t shut down now. The press seem to have mostly responded very positively to me being with Zoe. I’ve seen it, and everyone is intrigued by her, which can only be good for her career.

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