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Unfortunately, it quickly becomes obvious that she isn’t about to answer my call either. I wait impatiently as it flicks on to her voicemail so I can at least give her a message.
“Zoe, hi, sorry to contact you like this. I just had a call from Bill about a disaster on the movie set. I didn’t get many details, but I just want to check that you’re okay.”
There’s so much more I want to say, so I hang up fast before I can. Let’s not make this worse.
But it doesn’t feel like I’ve done enough. I still need to make sure that Zoe is okay. I haven’t talked to Freddie for a while, because I’ve been too nervous, but again I have a reason to chat to him. Maybe I can gauge where his head is at with regards to me as well.
“Remy, what’s wrong?” he asks coldly as soon as he picks up. I have to admit, this takes me back a bit. I don’t remember a time when Freddie has ever talked to me like this before.
“It’s Zoe.” Even saying her name feels a bit like a betrayal. I hope Freddie doesn’t pick up on that. “She’s run off a movie set while she’s supposed to be filming, and everyone is trying to find her. I just wanted to see if she was with you, or with your family.”
“She’s probably at home with Megan. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
I wasn’t expecting this from Freddie. I thought he’d snap into action and do whatever he needed to, to take care of his sister. I’m surprised. I think I need to explain a little more so he gets it.
“From what I can gather., the director was an asshole and her costar hit on her. It must have upset Zoe because she ran out and hasn’t been back. That doesn’t seem like her, does it?”
“So?” Still, he’s blasé. “She can do what she wants. I don’t thinkweneed to get in the middle of her life, do we? There’s no reason for us to get in her way.”
In her way? I have a funny feeling he’s referring to me. What does he know? This is making me really anxious. I don’t know what he’s worked out, or more worryingly what he might have been told. It doesn’t sound like Zoe is with him right now, but she might have said something earlier on. Who the hell knows? I grip the phone closer to my ear.
“I just wanted to check in on her, Freddie, to make sure she’s okay. That isn’t like her. You know as well as I do how hard she’s been working on getting an acting career over here. So for her to run out on this job is just too much. I’m very worried about her.”
“Hmm, right.” I hate the strangled disbelieving tone in his voice. “Well, I don’t know what’s going on with my sister. She seems to be keeping a lot from me, so who knows? Maybe she just didn’t want to do the job. It might not have anything to do with the guys working there. Do you think you might be a little bit jealous, Remy? Since you’re here ‘fiancé’?”
Shit. He’s worked everything out. I risk everything if I spill the beans now, don’t I? Even if I attempt denial, I will cause a real mess. I’ve tried so hard to convince Freddie all that was fake. I didn’t want him to see through the ruse, but it wasn’t the easiest when I was also trying to convince my mom that things were real. Urgh, it’s all been such a mess.
“Not jealous, just worried, that’s all. I want to know what’s going on.”
“Well, I don’t have anything to tell you, Remy. So that’s that. It’s done and over with.”
“Right, well I will see if I can find her,” I reply numbly. I don’t knowwhatis happening with my best friend anymore. It seems like he’s freezing me out. “Thank you, Freddie.”
He hangs up the phone before I can even say goodbye to him. As if I needed any more evidence that I’ve totally fucked everything up. Shit, I never wanted to lose Freddie. I hate that Mom warned me about this and I didn’t hear it. I couldn’t hear it. How am I going to get things back on track?
I try and call Zoe again, just because I don’t know what else to do. Again, I click through to her voicemail, which makes my heart sink. God damn it, what the hell is going on? What happened to her? I can only imagine the scene at the movie set. Something bad must have happened for Zoe to walk out like that. It wouldn’t have been something small, which makes me very anxious for her. I wish I’d been there for her to help her through it all.
Not that she wants me around. The more I think about how I behaved on the day that we visited the Congregate Care unit, the more embarrassed I become. I mean, I really barked at her, didn’t I? Despite the fact that she wasn’t the person I was annoyed at. I keep thinking about her face, and how upset she was, how much I broke her. No wonder she isn’t texting me back…
Time has passed agonizingly slowly. It seems like every second has felt closer to an hour with still no word from anyone who can help me out. I honestly feel like I’m going a little stir crazy. If I had any idea where to go, I’d be pounding the sidewalk, trying to find her.
“Come on, Zoe. Please let me know where you are,” I plead, but of course to no one. I even wish I knew how to contact Megan, Zoe’s roommate, so I could get some info. Although again, not knowing what Megan knows, makes it very awkward for me.
This is why people shouldn’t keep secrets. Why boundaries are put in place and lines shouldn’t be crossed. I’m starting to see the error of my ways.
Bleep, bleep.The next time my phone makes a sound, I practically jump on it in my desperation to see a message from the one person I want to hear from.
“Oh my God.” I gasp as I see her name on my screen. It’s Zoe! I can’t believe it. I can’t click it open fast enough to see what she’s written back to me.
Zoe:Thank you for all your calls. Sorry I didn’t answer. I’m fine.
I read and reread the words what feels like a million times, trying my best to analyze them in my mind. She’s “fine,” what does that mean? Where is she? Who’s she with? Can I even ask those questions anymore? My fingers hover over my phone but I don’t quite know what to say back.
Remy:What happened? Are you okay? I’ve been worried.
I don’t know if she’s about to respond, but I wait regardless. I have more hope now though than when I messaged her before. I feel like she might actually respond since she started the conversation. That’s why I can’t stop myself from looking.
Zoe:It was a nightmare. The actor I was in a scene with was disgusting and the director tried to force me into nudity. I don’t know if I made the right decision running away though.
