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It’s actually awesome. Not the biggest space, but I don’t take up much room. “I love it, Megan.” This room is absolutely perfect for me. It’s so cutesy and cool. I love the desk and everything.”
“Oh yay.” She claps her hands together excitedly. “I knew you would. We’re going to be superstars in this apartment, you know that, right?”
“I hope so.” I drop my bags on the bed and turn to face Megan. “Actually, I’ve already been offered a well-paying job here in the city, but I don’t know if I’m going to take it.”
Megan’s eyes almost pop out of her head in shock. “What? What do you mean? That’s awesome, and seriously impressive. No one ever gets jobs here without meeting with the casting directors first. You must be one hell of an impressive actress.”
I smile thinly. “Yeah, I’m happy about it, but I really don’t know if it’s something I’m going to do. It doesn’t seem like it’s a job for me, you know.”
“Pfft, we can’t be fussy this early on in our career, you know,” Megan chuckles. “What could be so bad that you don’t want to do this job? I don’t understand.”
I hang my head low as shame washes over me. “It’s an acting role which requires nudity, and I don’t think that’s something I’m comfortable with. I’ve never had to do it before, nothing I acted in while in England even required it, so I don’t know what to do now.”
It’s something else that I’ve been battling with on the plane ride over. A fight between my head and heart. Emotionally, this isn’t something that I would ever want for myself, it’s something I promised myself I wouldn’t do from a very young age. But my head is telling me that I’ll never make it if I turn down roles because of nudity. I’ll become known as problematic, then no one will want to work with me. It really is tough. I hope Megan has some decent advice for me.
“Nudity? Come on,” Megan groans. “That’s nothing. Part and parcel of being an actress. I don’t think there’s anyone in Hollywood who’s made it, who hasn’t been naked in one film or another. I don’t think you want to hold yourself back like that.”
I offer her a one-shouldered shrug because I do have my own personal boundaries and morals. I wouldn’t ever put them on anyone else, but they’re the way I want to work, if I can. I mean, I don’t want to cut myself off completely. I don’t want to make myself seem like I’m more trouble than I’m worth, but I do need to decide sooner rather than later.
“Should we go out tonight?” I pipe up, causing Megan to grin. “It’s been a long ass time since I was in New York. The last time I was here, I was barely old enough to go to the bars, so I didn’t explore the placenearlyenough. I have to make up for the lost time.”
“Oh, hell yeah!” Megan's fist pumps with excitement. “I love that idea.”
“Plus, I think Freddie might be out tonight, so I want to see him if you don’t mind?”
They always got on well too, so I can’t see Megan not wanting to hang out where he is.
“Oh my God, I haven’t seen Freddie inforever,” she gasps thoughtfully, probably diving back in time for a brief moment. “What is he up to these days?”
“He runs a lot of the bars,” I announce proudly. “He’s worked his way up from the bottom and really made a cool life for himself. I can’t wait to see it.”
“Fancy bars?” Megan checks. I nod. “Right, well we better get dressed up all nice then, right? I can’t imagine you have a Versace gown in that little bag of yours, do you? So, you might have to borrow something of mine. Not that I have anything designer, but I do own a lot of dresses thatlookdesigner which is basically the same thing. I think black for you…”
She’s getting carried away with herself, but I’m up for whatever plan she wants to throw together. I just need to blow off some steam so I’m not all tied up in knots about the nudity issue any longer. I would much rather focus on reacclimating to the city before I make any crazy decisions.
“Okay, black, fine. And what should I do with my hair?”
She runs her fingers through my ashy blonde locks. “I will style it for you. Can I do your makeup as well? I’ve been studying the makeup artists on set and I think I’m getting better at it.”
“As long as we have a drink while we dress. I’m up for anything.”
Megan eagerly produces a bottle of wine and pours us both a glass. “No problem! Don’t ever look at me like I’m the sort of woman who doesn’t always have something in the fridge to drink. You never know when it’s going to be needed. You never know when it’s going to be a special night, like tonight. Or if you ace an audition… or fail one, actually.”
We turn the music up to drink and dance while we get ready for a night of fun. I did have a good group of friends in London, and I enjoyed our nights out, but I’m pretty sure that none of them could ever be as fun as Megan. We really dogetone another in a special way.
It ends up taking us a good couple of hours to get dressed, especially because Megan takes ages over my makeup and hair, but by the time we actually do leave, my confidence soars higher than ever. I feel good about myself and about the night that stretches out in front of us. Iknowdeep in my heart that I’m going to kick ass here, and that whatever direction I decide to go with my career, if I take the acting job which requires nudity or not, I’m going to make it here.
Maybe not the Hollywood type of “make it,” but then I don’t know if Ineedthat to be happy. I don’t know anyone personally who has made it there, and I also don’t know if I would like that much intrusion into my life. I don’t like the idea of being followed by the paparazzi everywhere.
Instead, I would love to just do what I enjoy for a career and to have happiness as well. That’s another one of my more grown-up decisions. At twenty-one years old I thought the world was my oyster and I expected to have it all. Now I just want what I need to make me smile…
Yeah, maybe that’s a clue that I should wait for the perfect job and not take on one with nudity after all. The more I think about it, the more I want to be able to respect myself always.
Eventually we head down the street and we find our way to one of the bars that Freddie manages. I don’t know exactly which one he’s in tonight, he seems kinda hard to pin down because he’s so busy and needed all over the place, but I’m sure we’ll find him. And at least we’ll have a lot of fun on the way!
Chapter 2
Remy
