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What am I going to do now?I wonder as I stare up at the stars.What’s next for me?
A part of me just wants to walk off, to make my way home. I don’t live too far from here, so I could do it, but my limbs don’t move. I’m sure that if I leave now, I really will lose Marc. I’ll never get a chance to see him again. Haz has whispered nasty lies in his ears, making sure that we aredoneforever. I still don’t know whyhecares. Asshole.
No, I need to do this. I need to talk to my boyfriend. I have to let him know that I love him and remind him how much he loves me. Only I can convince him. I mean, we’ve been throughsomuch already; we can get through this. If I can get him to look at the photos of the beach trip we took, when we were so happy and promised one another that we would love each other forever, then he won’t want things to end.
He can’t want this to end, surely. That doesn’t make any sense at all.
I can also remind him how we suffered the drama of Tessa wanting to break us up so she could be with him. We weresostrong then. That was hard because Tessa is popular and beautiful—she would have looked great on Marc’s arm. But we remained strong. We kept our heads up high and we were better for it. So, he can’t let Haz get under his skin now.
Fuck Haz. He might not know any of that. He might not have seen the photographs of us being all happy and in love. He just might not have a clue, but Marc does. If Haz can talk in his ear, so can I. If this is a battle, thenIwill be the one who wins.
“Angie, there you are.” A hand rests on my shoulder, snapping my eyes open, bringing reality back into my world once more. “I’ve been looking for you.”
I smile widely at Marc, but he doesn’t return my grin. I guess he can see the redness in my cheeks and eyes, burning from the tears. “I’ve been looking for you, too.”
“Do you want to go inside to talk?”
I shake my head. I don’t know why, but I feel like I can explain myself better out here in the fresh night air.
“Okay, that’s fine, we can chat here.”
There’s a bench in Marc’s garden where we have spent a lot of time during our relationship, just chatting and having a good time. I didn’t know it would be the place where I also need to fight for my life. But fight I will. I’ll fight to the bitter end. This relationship is worth it. Being with Marc is the only thing that makes me happy, I can’t let go of this love.
“So, I think we need to talk about us.” I hate the way he says this. “Don’t you?”
“About how happy we are?” I insist, maybe a little bitterly. “About how we’ve had such an amazing year-long relationship that will definitely survive college? Because if you really think about it, and maybe take a look through the photographs of us… remember that day at the beach. I keep thinking about that day on the beach where we were so happy…”
My words trail off as I watch Marc’s expression falter. Oh God, he doesn’t want to hear it, does he? Haz has already worked his nasty magic. That won’t stop me from fighting, but it’s definitely going to make it a lot harder. I have to give it my all.
“I just think that we should end things on a positive note,” he says quietly, with sadness dripping off his tongue. “While we can have a nice goodbye, because we really have had the best relationship, and I don’t want it all to end on bad terms.”
I shake my head emphatically. “You don’t need to feel that way. You don’t need to end this. We don’t need to end things here. We can still be together, that’s always been the plan, hasn’t it? We will make it work. We’ll use technology to keep in touch and visit all the time.”
Why isn’t he listening to me? Why does he have that weird blank expression on his face? Ireallyneed to dig down deep so I can fight from the bottom of my heart. I suck in a deep breath, knowing that I will stick at this all night long if that’s what it takes.
I won’t let Marc leave me.
I won’t let Haz win.
Chapter 1: Angelica
Eight years later…
I sigh heavily as I step back into the house I left a long time ago, never thinking I would return to stay. But when everything falls apart, I suppose I should just be grateful that my parents still have a room for me, and I can come back home. This beats being homeless… just. I’ve gone back and forth a few times but decided that this is the best after all.
It doesn’t help that my bedroom is still exactly the same as I left it. It’s like walking back in time to being a high school kid once more. I sigh heavily and toss my bags on the bed before I walk around the room. I take a look at all the photos lining the wall. All the memories that I pretty much forgot the moment I left for college come flooding back.
“Aww, me and Tina,” I mutter to myself as I see her photo. We had a great friendship in school. It was always amazing. I guess our communication slipped a little when we both went off to college because she went up to Alaska and was way too far away for me to visit. But wedidstay in touch a little, and I do know she’s back in town now, which is particularly interesting now that I’m here, too. “Tina, I’ve missed you a lot, girl.”
I actually might contact her. I mean, if I have to be back in Cape May then I at least want to enjoy my time here. I don’t have her cell phone number anymore, but she is still on my contacts list. I am connected to her on social media so, why not? She might even want to hear from me again. We could go out and have a good time, paint the town red like we used to…
Oh!But then another picture captures my attention, and it makes my heart sink. Iknoweveryone has embarrassing high school relationship stories—we all shared in our humiliation in college—but facing it right here and now rushes shame over me. Thinking of that particular person always does that to me.
“Oh Marc,” I mutter to myself with a little chuckle, just to try and get over the feeling of embarrassment. “What a mess, huh? I really did beg you to stay with me, didn’t I?”
When I look back, I cringe like hell because I refused to let it go. Marc basically spent a whole summer telling me that it was over, and I wouldn’t hear it. I was an emotional wreck. I was just immature enough to make something inevitable much harder than it needed to be.
I don’t knowwhathappened to Marc once I left for college. I blocked him from my life right before I left town because I needed a fresh start, and I haven’t ever looked for him on social media since. So I don’t know if he’s here, but I really hope not. It’s almost been a decade, but I don’t know if I will be able to look him in the eye again.
