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Mentally, I’m on Tessa’s doorstep, picking her up for our date. I’d told her this morning to change into something nice when she gets home from her psych study, planning to take her somewhere fancy. The good thing about being a homebody is I have plenty saved in the bank. I want to spoil Tessa tonight. She deserves everything.
Should I stop at the store after work and grab some condoms? I don’t want to be presumptuous, but based on her response in bed last night, it couldn’t hurt to be prepared. Will she be ready to go for that tonight? Despite it only being our first official date, we’ve been through so much already. She knows me inside and out by now. There’s no one else I’ve wanted like her.
Danielle’s words from last week come back to me about how she thought I was in love with Tessa, and though I dismissed it at the time thinking there was no way Tessa felt the same, the sentiment doesn’t seem so unbelievable now. Was Danielle on to something? Could she see what I couldn’t?
Because the more I think about it, the more right it feels. This growing closeness, this overwhelming need for her… It’s been leading to this point.
God, I can’t fucking wait for tonight.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, a grin crossing my face as I see it’s a text from Tessa.
“I’m taking my break,” I tell my manager, already halfway across the warehouse floor. Maybe she sent something that needs to be viewed in private again.
I step outside the loading dock door, my smile falling as I read her text.
Tessa:Listen, this is uncomfortable to say, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I don’t see anything long-term happening with us. We’re too different. It’d be better if we’re just friends.
I blink at my phone, too shell-shocked to fully process her words. What the hell is she talking about? I thought we were in sync finally. Her enthusiasm last night was off the charts. She called me a fucking sex god. And, most importantly, she agreed to that date tonight. Is she backing out now?
I press the call option, but it only rings once before it goes straight to voicemail. So she’s declining my calls?
Me:I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’d like to talk about this.
Tessa:I’m too embarrassed to discuss this in person. I was caught up in the moment of something new, but I realize now it won’t work out. Please respect my decision.
My mind races, lightheadedness settling over me as my thumbs trip over themselves to text back. This doesn’t make any sense.
Me:I feel a connection with you I’ve never felt with another girl.Yeah, we’re different, but you said yourself that doesn’t matter.
Tessa:I was saying that to be nice. I don’t want to draw this out. It’s better if it’s a clean break. I’m done discussing it.
I swallow hard past the thickness in my throat, her punch to my gut harder than anything I’ve received in the ring. Normally, I’m good at rolling with whatever’s thrown at me, but this… Jesus, how could she have changed her mind so quickly? Especially after what we’ve shared the last few days.
Me:You’re the most important person in the world to me. Can we at least talk about it tonight?
My mouth trembles as I press send and I firm my jaw, bracing myself, my clenched fists leaving half-moon indentations in my palms before I realize what I’m doing. Despite her insistence on being done talking about it, I need to say my piece. This can’t be over before it had a chance.
Me:I’m in love with you, Tessa. I’ll do anything to make this work.
There’s silence from her end for a solid minute, my stomach rising and falling in nauseous, anticipatory waves, the tightness in my chest growing and growing until I’m sure I’ll burst with it.
Tessa:I don’t feel the same way. Like I said, I’m done discussing it. Don’t bring it up again.
I slump against the wall, the fight leaving me as tears sting hot in the corners of my eyes. I let them build, a numbness stealing over me as I sink to the concrete path outside the loading dock door, blindsided.
What the fuck just happened? What changed between when I kissed her goodbye this morning and now? How could she seem like a completely different person? That’s not the Tessa I know.
I eventually remember myself and brush at my face, not acknowledging my body’s response. Glancing at the time, I realize I should head back inside. My break is long over. Why would she even text me this now? Shouldn’t she be in her study at the Stress Lab?
My limbs are heavy as I force myself to get up and return to work, avoiding speaking with anyone until my shift is over. I’m already mentally making a plan to go to the gym later and knock the fucking crap out of a punching bag, desperately needing a distraction from the Tessa-shaped hole in my heart.
I thought I knew her, that this was the start of something real, but maybe I was only seeing what I wanted to see. Maybe I wanted her so badly, my vision was clouded. But she couldn’t have made it any clearer.
There’s no future for us.
CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT
TESSA
