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“Did you hear anything about your door?” he asks after a moment.
“Yeah. It’ll be ready Friday at the latest, but hopefully sooner.”
He nods. “Well, my place is open to you for however long you need it.”
A pang settles deep in my chest. “Thanks.”
There’s an extended pause of awkward silence and then he stands. “Think I’ll go to bed now.”
This early? “I-I’ll probably study for a bit.”
“Take as long as you need.”
After he adjourns to the bedroom, I sag against the arm of the couch, disappointment and frustration warring within me. I was able to ask for what I wanted with the maintenance guy today. Why can’t I do the same with Austin?
And what would I even ask him? If we can do stuff in bed together again? That’ll go over real well. I couldn’t even say anything this morning as it was happening.
Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe I’ll come up with a new way to broach the subject. Yeah, we said things are good between us, but they’re obviously not. Not if my stomach is a ball of confusion right now.
I just have to think of a different angle to address it.
No pressure.
CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE
AUSTIN
“I could have swornI made enough copies,” Tessa mutters, searching through the papers and folders on her desk.
I stand and put on my jacket, watching her shuffle through a folder she’s already looked through twice. “It’s no big deal. I can memorize the instructions.”
“I know it’s somewhere, but I guess I’ll have to give it to you tonight. It has all the things we talked about today with differential relaxation. Mostly about relaxing during your daily activities and isolating the muscles needed for specific tasks while keeping the rest of you relaxed. And then what you can expect next week with rapid relaxation and your final questionnaire.”
“Yeah, I’ll get it later. No problem.”
“Okay, thanks.” She gives me a nervous smile. “I made plans with Mia tonight, so I won’t be home for a few hours.”
I stick my hands in my pockets, looking down at my scuffed work boots. “Cool. I’ll probably head over to the gym for a while, then.” Anything to get this restlessness out of my system.
Last night had been fucking awful during the few minutes we’d interacted. She’d been so nervous, like she was trying to let me down easy. It was all I could do to stick around for as long as I did. Before she told me she wasn’t thinking clearly. Before she told me it was a mistake. I couldn’t bear to hear that.
I glance up to find her staring at me, her expression solemn.
“What is it?”
“You’re so hard to read,” she murmurs.
Me? “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, I…” She shakes her head. “I’ve been thinking a lot about our conversation last night. Or, rather, that there was more I should have said.”
“You can always talk to me.” Even when it’s something difficult to hear. Something I’m dreading to hear. I don’t want her to feel nervous around me again.
“I know. And that’s part of it. You’ve been so wonderful through all of this. Like, an incredible friend. I’m so grateful you’re letting me stay with you. And then I—” She takes a deep breath, her lower lip trembling. “I’m probably overthinking it, but I’m pretty sure I fucked everything up yesterday morning. I pressured you and I never asked if you were okay with it—”
“Hey, hey.” I wrap her in my arms, my heart thudding as she rests her head against my chest. “I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to.”
She sniffles against my jacket. “I was just so caught up in the moment, and I’ve been replaying it in my mind and my stomach has been in knots trying to think of a way to explain it. And I hate not talking to you because we’ve gotten so close, and I don’t want to jeopardize anything.”
