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Nothing compared to the lifetime of punishment my father has in store for me.
“Theodora,” Mr Ambrose says to me. “Are you alright?”
I look at him and smile. “Thank you for everything, Mr Ambrose.”
He frowns in confusion, but my father stands before he can say anything else.
“I’ll have my people pick up her things,” he says coldly. “We’re leaving now.” He throws me a look full of hatred and disgust. “Come.”
He ignores Mr Ambrose’s handshake and strides out of the office.
“Theodora,” Mr Ambrose says, so quietly I barely hear him, “you’re not alone.”
I give him a surprised look but hurry after my father, who’s already striding down the hall.
We leave Spearcrest in silence.
As I walk through the corridors, I see the faces of the students, the same pictures I admired the first time I came here. My head girl portrait stares back at me, a stranger’s face because I’m not her, not really.
How is it possible that I came here a little girl of eleven, scared and voiceless, and that I’m leaving now, a young woman of eighteen, just as scared and voiceless?
Because I have no choice. Because I’m trapped, and I’ll never be free from my father, from the fear that blots my heart when he’s around.
We descend the steps out of the Old Manor, and I halt to a stop, blinking in shock.
The sky is cloudless, a deep blue—siniyblue. The rays of the sun are not hot yet, but they are warm and bright. Dapples of light glimmer through the burgeoning leaves of the trees lining the paths. It’s springtime, and the air smells of rain and sunlight and grass.
A prisoner cannot escape her cell because there are walls and gates and locks and guards.Zachary’s voice is gentle in my mind, his arrogant laughter ringing in his words.What’s stopping you, Theodora Dorokhova?
I never answered his question, but I give myself the task of answering it. Of searching deep inside myself, of gathering the information I hold and synthesising it into a fresh new set of ideas. A thesis or a solution.
What’s stopping you, Theodora Dorokhova?
I set it to myself like an essay question—the last assignment in my academic career.
Chapter 43
Gone
Zachary
Theodoradoesn’tcomebackfrom Mr Ambrose’s office.
I wait for her outside her other classes, but she doesn’t attend any of them. That evening, I go to the library, to our spot on the top floor, in the golden lights where our love waxed and waned like the moon. She’s not there.
The next day, I catch all her friends and question them all. Rose, Camille, Kayana, Giselle. None of them have seen her. I hunt down Inessa, Theodora’s cousin and her one true friend in Spearcrest, but Inessa frowns at me and tells me the same thing as the others, that she hasn’t seen Theodora. The concern on her face mirrors my own, making my stomach squirm with dread.
My mind cycles through possibilities. A medical appointment. A family emergency. An accident.
The end of the week comes, and I walk into the Apostles meeting holding the tiniest spark of hope in my chest. The spark is extinguished when Mr Ambrose drearily announces that the programme is now down to two candidates. I glance at Sai Mahal, who sits next to me, and we exchange a shocked look.
After the meeting, I wait for Sai Mahal to leave and turn to Mr Ambrose. I don’t need to ask him anything. He sighs and laces his fingers together.
“I’m sorry, Zachary. I’m truly, deeply sorry.”
“Why did she drop out, sir? Where is she?”
“Her father came to collect her on Monday. He has decided to remove her from Spearcrest.”
