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She nods, and I sense the weight of her concerned stare as I walk away.
Away from the abandoned fountain and back to the sixth form girls’ building to see the one person who’s been avoiding me since I came back.
The one person I trusted enough to tell my secret to.
Chapter 50
Beautiful Nemesis
Theodora
Thistime,whenIknock at Inessa’s bedroom door, I don’t let her ignore me, and I don’t go away after a few knocks. I stay until she has no choice but to open the door and look me in the eyes.
She looks thinner since I’ve last seen her, the shine of her hair a little dulled, her eyes rimmed with pink. Her eyes meet mine, and all the air seeps out of her.
“I’msosorry, Dora.I’m so sorry.”
I push past her into her room and let her close the door behind me. Her bedroom, where we spent so much time sitting on her bed and chatting, where we shared her desk while I helped her with her essays, now seems cold and unfamiliar.
I feel the opposite of cold.
At first, in the moment of realisation, I felt icy all over, frozen in the shock of understanding. But now, there’s no ice to keep me numb. Emotions burn inside me, anger and hurt and resentment, a searing pain in my chest.
“I don’t understand.” In the end, my voice isn’t strong and determined—it’s weak and wavering. “You told him? Why would you tell him?”
“My father works for yours, and he offered to pay for my education, for everything—but Dora, he told me he only wanted me to make sure you were alright, that you wouldn’t be in any trouble, and—”
“You’ve been…” I brush my hand over my face, suddenly exhausted. “You’ve beenspyingon me? For my father? All these years?”
“Not spying, just—just making sure you were alright, that nothing bad would happen to you—Dora, you are like my sister here, and your father has such great plans for you, I only wanted to do the right thing and help.”
“This whole time.” All the anger drains from me. I feel so weak I could fall. I step back, gripping the door handle for support. “You’ve beenspyingon me. You’ve been—” My eyes fill with tears, so fast that Inessa’s image becomes a distorted blur. “And you told him about Zachary and me. You’re the reason he came.”
“I only told him because I was worried.” Inessa steps forward, holding up her hands. “And I never thought in a million years he would be so angry, I never thought any of this would ever happen, I swear it to you, Dora, I swear it on my life, in front of God.”
I watch her through my tears and say nothing at all.
Ifeelnothing at all.
The truth is that I believe her. Inessa loves me—she loves me too much, too openly, too completely for it to be a lie. And my father and hers probably had much time to fill her head with lies, to convince her whatever she was doing was for my own good.
My logical, sensible mind can understand all of those things. My logical, sensible eyes can see Inessa, the state she’s in, how devastated she is.
But my heart, which I protected so well all these years, which I trusted her with above everybody else—my heart feels nothing but pain.
Deep, dark, ugly pain.
A pain I don’t know I can ever heal from.
“He promised me he wouldn’t tell you,” she sniffles. “He promised you wouldn’t find out.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes and straighten myself. “My father isn’t a good person, Inessa.”
“Not him—your Zachary. He told me he wouldn’t tell you.”
“He didn’t.”
“Then how do you know?” Her voice breaks into a wail.
