AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I mean when you’re on your own, staking your independence, without a safety net and without my interference. What happens next? You go to private clubs in London with tech execs and then what?”
Dull colour flushes into Zaro’s cheeks. She crosses her legs and breathes out through her nose. Her fingers curl around the edge of the table, squeezing it.
“I’m not stupid, alright?” she says finally. “I wouldn’t have stayed the night at his hotel room.”
“What if he didn’t give you a choice?”
She glares at me as if offended by the bluntness of my question.
“I would’ve called the police—as you well know.”
“What if he took your phone?”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t be so paranoid.”
“Don’t be so naive.” I take a deep breath. “Look, I’m not saying itwouldhave happened, Zaro. I’m saying itcouldhave happened. That’s what I’m scared of—don’t you get it? I’m not afraid that I can’t trust you or that you’ll mess up. You’re allowed to mess up. I’m afraid of things going wrong, of someone hurting you.” She rolls her eyes again, but this time, it’s more half-hearted. “You have every right to want to live your life the way you want to—but try to imagine, for one split second, how I would feel if something happened to you and I hadn’t done anything to stop it. Try to imagine that the other way around—if something happened to me.”
She sighs, and her shoulders slump. The bravado melts from her posture.
“I know you worry about me, Zach. I know you want to keep me safe, but you can’t keep me safe by keeping me in acage.”
“That’s not how I wanted to make you feel.” I raise my hands. “I’m trying my best, but I don’t know how to look after you without making you feel shit about it, Zaro. I just don’t.”
She nods and slides off the edge of the desk, pulling out the chair next to mine and sitting at my side. We stare at each other for a second.
“Trust me a little more, that’s all. If you’re scared for me, I’ll start carrying mace. I’ll—I’ll keep you updated on where I am. And if I’m in trouble, I’ll call you. I promise.”
I nod slowly. “Alright. I’m willing to meet you halfway too. I’ll call Iakov off—but I have two conditions.”
She stiffens a little bit, but there’s a spark of hope in her eyes. “What conditions?”
“I want you to let Iakov teach you some self-defence.”
“Ugh, no, please. I hate exercising, Zach, and he’s so big—can’t I just carry a knife on me or something?”
“A knife will be useful until someone knocks it out of your hand.” I take her hand in mine. “I know it’s not fair that you should have to learn how to fight. I know none of this is your fault. But there’s no use pretending danger isn’t real. And if you don’t want me to have Iakov look after you, then you’re going to have to learn how to look after yourself. For real—not just by sending me a pin of your location when there’s nothing either of us could do if something went wrong.”
She sighs and throws her hands up in petulant acceptance.
“Fine! I’ll learn self-defence.” She narrows her eyes. “What’s the other condition?”
“You don’t have to be a nun, Zaro, but for god’s sake—please don’t hang out with old guys. There’s a reason these men aren’t pursuing relationships with women their age. They’re not the kind of men who are looking to treat you as an equal.”
She drops her gaze and then mumbles, “I know this.”
“Do you?”
She glares at me. “Yes, Zach, obviously I do.” Biting down into her lip, she glances away guiltily and then adds, “I was only going back to that guy’s hotel because I wanted to piss your friend off.”
For a moment, I just look at her. I don’t doubt for a second that there is truth in what she’s telling me. It wouldn’t surprise me if Zaro was just testing Iakov. But Iakov wasn’t around when she was at Sainte-Agnès, where she was groomed by a member of staff.
I don’t want to judge Zaro based on something she was a victim of. But the knowledge of what happened at Sainte-Agnès is like an injury inside my mind. Even if it heals, it’ll always leave a scar, a scar that will forever affect every decision I make when it comes to her.
“Promise me you’ll be careful,” I say, giving her my hand.
She rolls her eyes but takes it. I squeeze her palm against mine. “I’ll be careful.”
“I love you, lil sis.”
