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Dr. Scanil nodded. “Yes.”
“So it’s not all sunshine and rainbows?”
“Well, anything medically…”
“Doc, I’m laying it on the line here for myself and my family. I have to know the worst so I can prepare for it and protect my family.”
“I believe in the same, Atlas. I believe in preparing for the worst. And then I pack it up and toss it over my shoulder. I leave it there. I know what you want to ask me. I know what the answer is. I refuse to say it. If that makes me a bad doctor right now, then fine. In my mind, I can’t see you leaving this hospital without your daughter in your arms. Okay?”
My jaw tightened like it never had before.
Dr. Scanil excused himself with a gentle reminder that he had other patients to care for.
It wasn’t just my daughter in the NICU.
It wasn’t just my daughter facing an unfair fight the second they were born.
But it was my daughter.
My daughter.
I stepped back and bumped against the wall.
My knees wanted to give out.
I didn’t allow it to happen.
My throat tried closing up.
I told my brain to stop acting this way.
Just feet away in a room my daughter fought for her life.
That’s what Dr. Scanil didn’t want to say and what I wanted to ask.
We knew the truth.
She was born too early and there was a risk of…
“No,” I said.
I pushed from the wall and took a deep breath.
If my daughter was strong enough to fight, so was I.
If Hazel was strong enough to give birth, then I was strong enough to stand tall and protective for both her and my daughter.
I had to take care of my family.
The first thingHazel did after waking from a nap, was asked to see our daughter.
I didn’t hesitate at all over it.
We both had to be there for her.
Talk to her. Touch her when we were allowed.
Then eventually hold her.
