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“No.” His innocence doesn’t work—he purposefully didn’t tell me. I wonder why? It makes more sense why he’s so interested in it now. I wonder whether his parents told him what Julian just revealed about the strain it put on their relationship. Titus told me he thinks his father is having an affair with his secretary. Maybe he thinks the pressure of having to go through IVF created the first cracks in their marriage, and he hopes to help other couples from having to go through that.
“Heidi tells me you’re moving to the UK,” Julian says.
“I’m so sorry,” I say to Titus, “I didn’t realize you hadn’t told them yet.”
“It’s okay, I was going to tell them today.” He squeezes my hand. “Yeah, Acheron Pharmaceuticals has requested I run the project from there for a minimum period of two years, and I’ve decided to accept, mainly because I want to be near Heidi.” He smiles at me.
“It sounds like a great opportunity,” Julian says. He hesitates, then he adds, “I’m proud of you.”
Titus looks as if his father has just slapped him around the face with a wet fish. “Oh.”
The two of them stare at each other for a moment. Then Julian turns his gaze to me. “I want to say that I’m sorry to hear about what happened with your father.”
I stiffen. Titus’s hand tightens on mine.
“I’ve known Peter Huxley a long time,” Julian says. “We’ve both made mistakes we’re sorry for.”
It doesn’t come close to explaining away the years of control I’ve had to endure from my father, and the violent act he carried out at the end. But Julian glances at Titus, and I know this isn’t really about me. He’s trying to say sorry to his son. It doesn’t come easy to proud men, and this is probably the closest he’s going to get.
Ingrid sips her coffee and says, “So where are the two of you going to live?”
“We haven’t actually talked about that yet,” Titus says, looking relieved at the change of subject. “Heidi rents a cottage in the village where she works. I’ll be working about half an hour away. We’ll talk about that over the next week or so.”
“When will you be moving?” Julian asks.
“Heidi flies back on the twenty-sixth of August. I’ll be staying for another week or two to make sure everything’s set here, then I’ll follow her over.”
Julian continues talking about life in the UK, politics, and Brexit, and thankfully we don’t return to the topic of my father or anything personal. Ingrid doesn’t say much. At one point, Julian extends his hand to her. She looks at it, waits a moment, then slips hers into it, and he squeezes her fingers. It’s an innocuous gesture, but Titus glances at me.
It’s then that I realize why the house feels strange. It’s heavy with sadness. Nobody ever knows what goes on between two people. But it’s clear that Julian and Ingrid have had their problems. Whether they’re able to overcome them, I don’t know.
We don’t stay for much longer. We finish our coffee, and then Titus declares it’s time to leave, and we get to our feet. The two of them see us to the door. Julian shakes my hand while Titus hugs his mother. Then Ingrid gives me a hug.
Titus faces his father and extends his hand. This time, Julian moves forward and puts his arms around his son in a bearhug.
Titus stiffens. Obviously, this doesn’t happen often. For a moment, I think he’s going to stand like that until Julian moves away. But eventually, Titus hugs him back, and they stand there like that for a moment before they release.
“Stay in touch,” Julian says gruffly.
Titus nods, and we walk down the steps.
Once we’re on the pavement, he says, “Let’s have a walk along the beach.” It’s stopped raining, so I nod, and he leads me across the road and along the promenade.
We stand there for a moment, the brisk wind tugging at our clothes. He inhales deeply, then blows out a long breath as he releases a lifetime of tension and disappointment.
I slide my arms around his waist, and he hugs me back.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were conceived through IVF?” I ask.
He sighs. “I don’t like talking about it much. I know the pressure of getting pregnant put a huge strain on my parents. They had two failed cycles, and at that point Dad wanted to stop, but Mum pushed him into trying one more time. I think they came close to separating—she even moved out at one point. And then she fell pregnant. They’ve stayed together all this time, so I guess it says something for their marriage, but I don’t think things were ever the same after that. But Mum’s just told me that he’s admitted he was having an affair, and he’s ended it.”
I pull back, shocked. “Really?”
“Yeah. He spoke to your dad on the phone. Your dad told him what he did to you, and about the argument he had with Huxley, and apparently your dad cried. I think it really shook my dad up. After that, he told Mum, and… well, you saw what he was like with me. He’s never hugged me like that before.”
I let him pull me tight against him, but my stomach is churning like the choppy waves. Dad cried while on the phone to Julian? That doesn’t sound like him at all.
Is it possible that he regrets what happened between us? I won’t know unless I go and see him.
