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When RJ is finally alone, I slip into his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. The room is pitch-black, so I have to use my phone’s flashlight to find my way over to the bed.
RJ is tucked under the covers on his side, clutching the pillow under his head.
“Hey, can you turn out the light? My head hurts.”
“Sure. Sorry,” I whisper as I do as he asked, and the darkness consumes the room again.
“Do you want me to leave you alone?”
“I’m just gonna sleep,” he mumbles. “Not up for movies or anything else tonight.”
“Jesus, RJ. I know that. I’m worried about you. I just want to be close. You scared the shit out of me tonight,” I tell him.
“I’m fine. Just a stabbing headache and a little forgetful.”
“But you remember me?”
“Yeah,” he says with a heavy exhale. “KindawishIdidnt.”
His words are all slurred together, but I think he said that he wished hedidn’tremember me.
And fuck, that hurts worse than the bullet that went through me.
I guess I can’t really blame him, though. RJ was living his life as a completely straight guy until I came along. Or at least that’s what he said. That had to be confusing and annoying.
Part of me wants to just crawl under the covers with him and avoid the question altogether. Still, I have to ask him to be certain. “Should I go?”
“No. Stay,” he says, which is a gigantic relief.
I was going to stay anyway to make sure he was okay all night, even if I had to sleep on the floor. Lying beside him is much better.
After removing my jeans and shoes, I get into bed. I’m slowly, gently pulling the covers up over me so as not to disturb him when RJ slides over to my side. Letting go of the pillow he was choking, he throws an arm over my waist and rests his cheek on my chest.
“You’re wearing a shirt,” he remarks.
“Want me to take it off?”
“Nah. It’s soft, and it smells good like you.”
Guess I’m leaving the tee on. “Do you need anything? Pain meds? Something to drink or eat?”
“I just want to sleep.”
“Okay. I’ll be here if you wake up and need anything.”
“Thanks, baby,” he murmurs before his body relaxes against me. It’s not long before his breathing slows as he drifts off to sleep.
But me? I’m still wide-awake, hoping the doctors didn’t miss anything and that RJ will be okay.
I’m also feeling a little off-kilter because RJ called me “baby.”
Still, whatever RJ may feel for me, he wishes he could forget me.
Goddamn it.
I’ve been a fool and fallen in love with a straight man.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-SIX
