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“Lyla is pissed at my brother for something.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Lyla, it’s not my place to… Let me take you over there. To see him.”
“No, Barrett. You had your chance to be honest with me. Let’s see if my dad will tell me the truth or not since I can’t get it from you!”
A moment later, the front door slams, making me think Lyla left in a rush.
“That’s not good,” I remark.
“Nope.”
“You know what it’s about?”
“No clue,” Thane says before he rolls out of bed. When he’s standing next to it, still naked from last night’s romp, he raises his tattooed arms over his head to stretch. Even after all these weeks, I still don’t think I’ve seen every inch of the designs.
Before I can bring up last night, he starts searching for his clothes.
“You’re leaving?” I ask.
“Yeah. If Barrett’s up and angry, then we need to be in our own rooms.”
“Right. Sure,” I agree, even though I hate that he’s leaving so soon. “Can we talk later?” I ask him when he starts for the door.
“Yeah, of course,” he agrees without even sparing a glance at me.
He’s angry. Or hurt.
Dammit! I haven’t known him long enough to figure out which, and I fucking hate it.
* * *
Thane
My first stop leaving RJ’s room is straight across the hall to the shower to clean up from last night and try to wake up.
I’m not sure what time I finally fell asleep. All I know is that I didn’t get enough sleep to fully recover.
Last night with RJ was life changing. That’s why I was more than happy to sneak out of his room before I professed my love or did something else insane like ask him if he wants to move in together.
Too much, too fast.
RJ was straight just a few weeks ago. It took time for him to even feel comfortable touching me. Asking him for more will only scare him off.
Not to mention that my head is still all foggy and confused. Also, a little ashamed, even though I don’t regret a second of last night.
I’ve known I was gay since middle school when I had wet dreams about fucking my best friend. But some small part of me has always denied that I would ever enjoy wanting to be on the receiving end of dick. That was a line I didn’t want to cross because, well, hell if I know. I guess because it would make me too vulnerable in already unfamiliar territory, and I couldn’t afford to let myself be taken in such a way. I think in the back of my mind, I’ve always told myself that if the Devil Hounds found out I liked to fuck other men, it wouldn’t be as emasculating as admitting I like to get fucked.
Which is stupid now that I’ve done it, and I think about it under the warm spray of the shower.
If I’m gay, then I’m gay. I need to own all of the truths about myself rather than repress any of my wants and needs just because I’m worried about what someone else will think.
Still, owning my truths is different from pushing them onto someone else, onto a recently straight man.
I need to give RJ time to come to grips with everything on his own without pushing him or pressuring him.
But what if he never wants to come out to his friends and family? What if it’s just sex for him and nothing more? I know he enjoys the sex and fooling around, but what if that’s all it is to him?
