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I pushed too hard, too fast.
When he kissed me back, I thought he was into it. And maybe he was, but not enough to chance someone finding out he wasn’t one hundred percent straight.
I hated seeing the hatred in his eyes, looking at me like I’m the bad guy. But I am. That’s all I’ve ever been or ever will be.
And as the bad guy, I probably deserve to die a virgin. A lonely, horny virgin who was too chicken to come out of the closet.
Even if I wanted to look for a hookup, it’s not like there are any gay bars around here. Even if there was, I can’t be caught at one.
That’s why I hate it, but I can understand why RJ didn’t want to take the risk of crossing that line with me. I get it. He can fuck any woman he wants, whenever he wants. I can’t. I wish it were that easy.
Hell, I wish I felt that way about Lyla. Her father would love for me to date her, especially now, to take her mind off that Savage King.
By the time I walk back up to Isaac’s office upstairs, he’s gone, and it’s just Hank and the kid.
“I can handle him, Hank,” I tell him. “Go get yourself a drink.”
“Thanks, bro,” he says when he gets up and leaves without hesitation.
I bet he wouldn’t call me bro if he knew I checked out his ass.
Walking over to the desk, I flop down into the other visitor chair next to Jordan, letting my legs hang over the arm of it. “So, your boss boy is pissed.”
Jordan lifts an eyebrow. “RJ?”
“Yep. The bouncer said he’s still waiting outside with the other pretty one.”
“Colt’s still here too?” the kid asks.
“Yeah.”
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since he’s gonna be my stepfather one day soon.”
“No kidding? He’s young.”
“Yeah, so is my mom,” he replies as he props his elbow on the chair arm to cradle his face in his palm. “Did you go talk to RJ?”
“What makes you think I talked to him?” I ask while examining my nails, trying to act ambivalent.
Jordan laughs. “You jumped up and ran out of here like your ass was on fire.”
I nod my head a few times since there’s no point in denying it. “He sent me a text on your phone to meet downstairs in the men’s restroom.”
What’s with us and the encounters always near bathrooms? Because they just so happen to be dirty and disgusting like me?
“And he didn’t punch you out when you saw him?”
“Nope. I think he wanted to,” I admit. “But before his fists could start flying or he could choke me out, I, ah, kissed him.”
“You kissed RJ?” Jordan whispers, sounding surprised.
“Yep.”
“How was it?”
How was my very first kiss? “Oh, I don’t know. Fast and furious.”
“Wait. Did he kiss you back?”
