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“Do you hate him?” I ask Jordan, lowering my hand and trying not to think about the stabbing pains shooting through my chest.
“Hate who?”
“Thane?”
“No.”
“You don’t? Not even after he snatched you from the shop and held you hostage for hours?”
“That shit wasn’t personal. Thane was following orders. You know that. I’ve heard about some of the Savage Kings MC’s history. I knew things could get dangerous when I decided I wanted to prospect.”
“So you don’t blame him? You don’t want to hurt him back?”
“Nah. I’d rather keep the peace. Besides, Isaac was the one using me to get back at Barrett for sleeping with his daughter. They could’ve roughed me up, hurt me, but they didn’t. As far as kidnappings go, I had it easy.”
“I wasn’t ready to forgive and forget yet.”
“Because you feel responsible for me as my sponsor, but it wasn’t your fault, RJ. You can’t protect me every second of the day for the rest of my life.”
“I know, but if I had better security, like cameras up at the shop…”
“Then you could’ve watched a short little video where he comes in and I leave with him. It wouldn’t have changed anything, so let it go.”
“Are you sure?”
“You want to know if it’s okay with me if you forgive the fucker who got shot and may die? Yeah, man. I’m fine with that. In fact, I encourage it.”
“Good,” I say with a sigh as my shoulders slump, and the pain in my chest lessens, but only slightly.
“I get it, RJ. You kissed a boy, and you liked it.”
“I can’t stop thinking about it,” I admit as I stare out at the parking lot without actually seeing any of the cars. I’m right back there in that bathroom – my entire body was on fire, burning in a good way. A way that made me want to keep burning and never stop. “Other than my first real kiss with Stacy Biggs in the seventh grade, that’s never happened before.”
“First kiss with tongue?”
“Yeah. It was amazing. Then we kissed a few more times, and it got boring, so I dumped her for Brooke Shropshire, an eighth grader and the sluttiest girl in the entire school, because I wanted to do more than kiss a girl.”
“Did you lose your virginity to Brooke?”
“Yep. But it wasn’t all it was hyped up to be.”
“Over before you could blink?”
“Yep.”
“Same.”
“The more we did it, the longer I could last, but…”
“But what?”
“It felt good at the time, yeah, but after it was over, I couldn’t wait to leave to go tell my friends, my brothers. I finally realized that I didn’t care about her at all, and I felt like shit. When it came down to it, I was just using her for sex, and she thought that she was my girlfriend. I only tolerated her endless chatter when we were together to get off. So, I dumped her. After that, one-night stands only to avoid relationships.”
“You tell girls that up front?”
“Yep.”
“And they still want to fuck?”
