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Hands on my hips, I say, “Oh, come on, RJ. You can tell me the truth.”
“Uh-uh.”
“Why not? I watch gay porn all the time. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You’ve recently discovered you have an attraction to the male body. It’s normal to want to explore that side of pornography.”
RJ refuses to look at me or say a word, and I worry I’ve fucked everything up between us. If he was hiding it from me, then I shouldn’t push him. Except now I’m curious as hell.
“Fine, you don’t have to tell me, but could you show me? I’ll probably enjoy it too.”
Now he glances up at me. “You won’t laugh or get pissed?”
“I promise I won’t laugh or get pissed,” I assure him. I’m way too curious about what does it for him to do either of those things or mess up the good thing we have going between us.
“Fine.”
I sit down on the edge of the bed beside him, and he slowly opens the laptop on his lap and turns it only about half an inch in my direction.
The freeze frame on the screen is surprisingly not of two naked guys fucking each other.
It’s three. Three!
A skinny one in the middle is on all fours, sucking a dick and taking a dick in the ass at the same time.
Wow.
“Play it,” I instruct RJ.
The two words come out harsher than I intended. At first, I’m not even sure why. But then RJ does what I asked, and I’m watching the three men go at it. The two bigger guys are using the one in the middle hard. He’s slobbering and gagging all over one dick while the biggest cock I’ve ever seen hammers in and out of him. The two on the ends meet each other in the middle to kiss with a whole lot of sloppy tongue while ignoring the one between them doing all the work.
It finally occurs to me that I’m…angry.
I’m angry because the video RJ chose to watch, the one that turns him on the most, proves what I’ve known all this time.
I can’t ever be enough for him, and he can’t be enough for me since neither of us will ever be the man in the middle.
The video suddenly stops, and RJ’s gaze is on my face. “You’re mad! What the hell, Thane? You promised.”
“This isn’t going to work,” I say as I get to my feet.
“This? Us? What are you talking about?” RJ’s voice sounds panicked as he slams the laptop closed and tosses it on the bed as he stands up.
“Us. Neither you nor I want to be the dude in the middle, and I don’t want to share you with someone else in a threesome.”
“I don’t want a threesome either.”
“You don’t?”
“No! One dick more than mine is plenty…”
“Then why, out of all the gay porn in the world, are you watching that scene?” I ask, gesturing to the now closed laptop.
“Because I’m trying to figure out how it all works.”
“How the sex works?”
“Yes! I’m trying to learn how to give blowjobs and how the other type of sex would work if you change your mind.”
“I’m not gonna change my mind. I won’t ever bottom,” I say, even though I’ve never actually experienced being a bottom or a top. It’s just one of those lines I don’t want to cross.
