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Speaking was agony. I could hear the rasp in my voice. The bruises were fantastic; I was a masterpiece, but I’d suffered for the art.
“Ding ding ding! There we go. That’s a good one!” He rocked his chair back and swung on the legs, threading his fingers behind his head, his elbows out to the sides. “Weeeeell, that’s a pretty funny story, really. 'Cos you gave me an open invitation to do whatever I wanted, and I just took advantage of it. You can’t even say it was my fault because you gave me the keys. Let me walk straight into her flat.”
“What did you do, Goss?”
He chuckled. “Oh, nothing much. Just me and a few of the guys, you know — all the chavs she looked down on, total scum that we were — we just went and picked up your boxes like you asked.”
“Then why is she so angry?”
Fuck, I wish I could ask more, but it felt like her claws were scraping inside my throat. Why was she furious with me? Why does she hate me enough to strangle me? What did she mean by her flat and the plan Goss and I had?
“Wait, hang on.” His chair thumped down, echoing in the bright plastic room. “Ooooh, Maxxy. She hasn’t told you, has she? Oh, wow. Have you guys even spoken properly?” He watched my face, trying to look for answers, before throwing his head back and laughing, his hand on his chest. “Holy shit, mate, you can’t be fucking serious. Ten years and you two never got together to hash it out? What a joke. Literally. I mean, you always were a depressing bastard, but I didn’t think you’d torture yourself for this long.”
Two guards were in the room. If I went for him, they’d be on us instantly.
I was a fucking idiot for defending Goss when Cat complained about him.He just took some getting used to.That’s what I told her. And when I’d asked Goss to back off and leave her alone, he said she was imagining it.
“What did you do to her?” I asked through clenched teeth.
I started bouncing my leg and fixed my eyes on him.
“Yeah, yeah, you already asked that. I heard you the first time.” He sighed, plopping one elbow back on the table, twisting his head so he cupped his hollowed cheek. “See, the thing is, right? Your Kitty Cat? She was a raging bitch — only you were too loved up to see what she was doing to you. So, I just taught her a lesson.” He shrugged like it was nothing. “We were leaving, she was staying — no big deal. I just left her a wee reminder so she wouldn’t get even more up herself once we were famous.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I raised my voice, wincing at the effort.
He noticed, a gleam in his eye, though he didn’t comment.
“Come oooon, Max. You really didn’t see how she was with you?”
I took a breath. “She loved me.”
I was so sure of it. I wanted to be with her forever. It was why it destroyed me when she left, why it was so easy for Goss to poison me with his twisted words.
He slammed his fist into the table, fury suddenly marring his face. The guard behind him tensed, preparing in case Goss made a move.
“We were her fucking toys, you dipshit! All she did was shell out money so we’d sing and dance for her, and you’d make her come. She didn’t give a shit about any of us.”
This was the same story he fed us when she left. Even years later, he still went on about how all we cared about was Cat. It was like he was as obsessed with her as I was.
The three of us didn’t believe him when he spoke like this. Though she came from old money, she never judged us. She was happy buying us new kit, printing posters, getting us gigs, and even letting me move in with her as soon as we met so I didn’t have to stay in my parent’s house after they died. She didn’t see us as pets.
“Why do you still believe that?” I rasped.
It was so long ago. Even though I’d never forgotten her, there had come a time when I had to accept I had to move on with my life. I’d finally become used to living without her the way you get used to living without your appendix. I could still function, but the piece I’d thought I needed had been ripped out, and they patched me back up like nothing had happened.
“Because it’s the fucking truth!” he yelled. “You had no fucking clue what she was doing to us. She turned us into this shitty band that only sang about how much we loved her. That was it. That was literally it. Because all you and Luc would write about was her! And all we did was just gaze at her and play for her and sing about her. It was a fucking joke. We were a fucking joke, mate. You were just so deep in her pussy you couldn’t see it.”
He stopped himself, shaking his head and calming himself down. I wanted to get the fuck out of there. I was used to the way his moods would flip back and forth, but I’d assumed the drugs had made him this way. He was poison, worse than Cat's addictive pull, and I was letting him get to me. But I needed to know what happened.
Goss sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. “And the only time you actually saw it was when we had our lovely little chats about how we could get her to fund our projects.” He stroked his chin thoughtfully.
My eyes widened as I realised what he was talking about, what Cat must have been talking about. There were days when Goss would push me to talk about how we could get more money from Cat. It made me so uncomfortable, but there were things we needed if we were going to make it big. I hated asking her, but she was always happy to provide, and Goss wanted to take advantage of it as much as possible. Was that why she was so angry? She said something about me pretending to love her. Did she think I was only with her for the money?
“Hmmm.” Goss continued. “She always was so accommodating in every area. I particularly enjoyed your stories of how easily she’d go down on you. I loved knowing how you could get her to do anything, really. Anything with your cock, and she was happy.”
I snapped, hissing at him. “Shut the fuck up. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I was a gullible idiot back then, thinking he was my friend, that he actually cared about me.
