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A heavy weight dropped off my shoulders. I nodded as intense emptions of happiness, shame, and anger flooded me. The one thing I wanted more in life than life itself finally had become true. But at the same time, it felt like I had tricked Andrei and abused his trust.
“Andrei... I am so, so sorry. You have to believe me. I had no idea I could get pregnant. I really didn’t know.”
Tears started burning in my eyes. I was terrified he would hate me for this.
“Please don’t send me away.”
He glanced at me as if I had said the most ridiculous thing. “Elise, I am not going to send you away. I am going to be a father. The father ofourchild,” he said. “How could I ever send you away?”
I nodded again. “I... I’m not sure if I’m ready to have a baby. I’m not prepared for it at all.”
“Fuck. I’m not prepared for it either. But honestly, if it had to happen, I am happy it was with you.”
He eyed me and then turned his face back to the road. I placed my hand on my stomach and straightened my back. His eyes scanned the road ahead, and then he pulled the car to a slow stop on the side of the road. We were in front of a small store, and the street was busy with people going about their day. Andrei killed the truck’s engine and turned to me.
“Why did you ask me if I would send you away? Is that really who you think I am?”
Was that hurt or anger in his darkening eyes? I took a deep breath. “No. I’m sorry.”
He was quiet, just watching me. I hated the look on his face, like he thought I was crazy. I glanced at him. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
“Like what?” He wrinkled his brow.
“Like I am mad.”
“I am not looking at you like that. I’m just confused. The thought of taking care of you and our child almost drives me mad.”
I sighed and chewed on my lip. “I’m so freaking scared.”
“I’m scared too, Elise. But it is what it is and we both have to make our peace with it, even if having a baby is dangerous for all of us. It's a lot more difficult running and staying safe with a baby. Pretty much impossible if you really want to know.”
The thought of my baby falling into Marcello’s hands made me taste bile.
“Just take me home,” I scoffed and shifted on the seat, folding my arms.
He started the truck and drove to the house in silence. When we got home, I jumped out of the truck first and rushed inside. He waited in the driveway for a few minutes, looking at the sea. I almost thought he would start the engine again, to drive off and never come back. But instead, he came inside and took me in his muscular arms.
Chapter 16
Andrei
We didn’t talk much for the rest of the day. It was pathetic. I had looked into the face of death on countless occasions but couldn't walk to the bedroom and look at Elise’s face, so I sat on the couch in the living room, thinking about this insane day. I was to become a father, and on top of that, the call I received in the morning had shaken me to my bones.
The call was from a friend in South Africa. Apparently, two days ago, men working for Marcello had located the cabin where Elise and I had hidden. They burnt it down when they couldn't find us. How they discovered the cabin was still a mystery. And now she was pregnant. That made things a lot more complicated.
I had woken up on the couch in the middle of the night and used the other bathroom to clean up. It felt so weird being away from her. I had gotten so used to her being by my side every night that I felt lost without her. Trying to sleep was like trying to solve a puzzle without the key pieces I needed. But io wanted to give her the space she needed.
When I woke up again in the morning, I sat on the couch waiting for her to come out, but she hadn't gotten up yet. She was in the bedroom, doing things. I could hear her walking around, probably arranging clothes.
When she finally came out of the room, she headed into the kitchen without saying a word or even looking over at me. From the kitchen, I heard her mumbling along with the song playing through her earbuds. Plates clattered, and the aroma of food made it to the living room. When she finished, she walked out of the kitchen and headed back to the bedroom, carrying a plate in her hand.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Good morning,” she responded in a cool tone. She didn’t look at me as she returned to the bedroom.
I was still sitting there when she came out with an empty plate.
“Your meal is in the kitchen if you want to eat.”
