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Ava looks like she wants to say more, but she lets out a tired sigh instead. Standing to her feet, she takes a step towards Chris and throws her arms around him. “I love you too, Dad.”
I watch Chris visibly relax and his arms go around her too before burying his head in her hair. The picture the two of them make is so beautiful that I smile until my cheeks hurt. When they pull apart, Ava returns to her seat beside me and Chris finally looks directly at me. It’s the first time he has done that in two weeks.
His stare is so powerful and full of longing that I almost can’t stand it, but I don’t avert my gaze either.
Beside me, Ava clears her throat. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask… is there something going on between the two of you?”
Chris looks away quickly while I sputter. “What, I… what do you… I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s nothing going on between Chris… I mean, your dad and I.”
Ava’s expression is hard to read, but even with that, I have no doubt that she wouldn’t approve of my feelings for her father. The last thing I want to do is upset the only friend I have who has become my sister in so many ways. I don’t know what I would do if I lost Ava.
Besides, it’s not like I lied. There really isn’t anything going on between us, other than the fact that we shared a kiss about a month ago and my feelings for him are growing everyday no matter how hard I’m trying not to let them.
“Hm,” Ava looks between us. “So, you two just stare at each other like you’re both starving for one another, huh? Plus, you seem to be pretty comfortable with being on a first name basis.”
Panicking, I stare at Chris who stares back, but doesn’t say a word. So, I try to deflect with the only thing I know will throw Ava off. “I’m serious. There’s nothing going on.” I laugh nervously. “In fact, I just agreed to go on a date with Lance when we’re back in New York,” I lie through my teeth.
If looks could kill, the one Chris has directed at me would have me lighting up in flames right now. His nostrils flare and I swear I see smoke coming out from them. He turns to Ava. “Like she said, there’s nothing going on between us.” Then, he turns around and walks away without sparing me another glance.
I’m filled with guilt as I watch him walk away. I haven’t even agreed to go on that date with Lance and I already feel this bad.
I feel Ava’s hand on my shoulder, pushing at me excitedly. “Who is this Lance and how did you two start to talk? Tell me everything,” she urges as she bounces happily on the bed.
I stare at the closed door for a little while, before returning my attention to Ava and telling her everything she wants to hear.
16
CHRISTOPHER
Right from my first time experiencing science, it has always fascinated me. Reading about the world and the things living in it and about how those things interact with their environment, their impact on their environment, and their flaws have never ceased to amaze me.
From the moment I decided I wanted to have an expedition like this one to building the aquatic base we are currently in, and finally coming here and witnessing it all, I have never known a moment of boredom. Yet, the moment Charlotte is gone, nothing feels right anymore.
She and her colleagues, along with Ava, have only been gone for two days and there’s still five more days until they return. But here I am, going insane from not knowing how she is doing.
At first, I thought it was normal for me to miss her in this manner. Afterall, we had spent close to two months within the same vicinity. However, it also occurred to me that I don’t care about the others as much as I care about her. I don’t miss their presence, neither do I crave it, like I do hers.
I miss her so much that the slightest thing irritates me and the others are beginning to notice my short temper too. They’ve been avoiding me more, even Ellen seems to have decided that flirting with me is not worth my anger.
Not like I care anyway. The only person I want to spend my time with isn’t here so the others might as well stay away from me.
Everything reminds me of her and suddenly, my home for the next one and half months becomes suffocating. Saying I can’t be with her is a totally different thing to actually staying away from her.Things are easier said than done.
Later that night, I lie awake in bed going through the pros and cons of getting involved with Charlotte. There is the main obstacle, which is the fact that she is my daughter’s best friend. There is also the fact that she is over twenty years younger than I am.
I saw the way she reacted when Ava suspected something and I knew that, like me, she isn’t willing to try anything if my daughter does not approve. She had also mentioned going on a date with Lance, someone her age who probably doesn’t have major trust issues like I do, someone that she can depend on.
However, that doesn’t make me any less enraged at the thought of her being with someone else. It’s too much for me to bear to imagine her sharing her laughter with him, her quirks, her fun facts, her dances, her body…
Cold sweat forms on my forehead and I sit up on the bed. My chest feels like it’s about to explode from an emotion that I’ve felt before, long ago, but this time, it is ten times more powerful.
Suddenly, my fear and doubts no longer matter. The trust issue is still there, but Charlotte’s promise of making me see that she is nothing like the women that betrayed me rings in my head.
She was right, she is nothing like them. And I did see the difference, I’ve seen it for a long time. But I’m only just realizing that now, because I’ve only just accepted what my heart has known for a long time: I am in love with Charlotte Wilson.
I don’t sleep that night. Instead, I put things into place while repeating the mantra that fills my heart with joy over and over in my head.
I am in love with Charlotte Wilson.
