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“I’m alright,” I lied, not wanting to bother the gentleman with my problems. I was sure he had his hands full with his own.
“Doesn’t look that way to me, buddy.” I watched as he got to his feet, brushed himself off, and made a beeline towards me. “You look like a man who’s standing at the crossroads of a dilemma.” The man stood several inches shorter than me but radiated a wisdom that made him seem timeless.
“I’m alright.” I tried to convince him again, but one look told me that the man was not buying it.
“Bull. I know anguish when I see it. I’ve lived it. I’ve breathed it. I definitely know when someone’s facing a decision and doesn’t know which way to go.”
Before I realized it, I found myself standing with that man at the corner, spilling my guts about my mother, about being with Ariel in Rome, losing her, and now, facing a future that I wasn’t sure that I wanted to have.
“That’s quite a load you’re carrying there,” my newfound friend sighed as we sipped the fresh, piping hot coffee that I’d bought for us from the twenty-four hour café around the corner. “It sounds like you’ve been pounding these streets, giving folks your best impression of an empty shell.”
“Don’t I know it.” I blew out a short, exasperated breath. “Everyone’s on my case. It’s not like I can help it. Life just… it’s just not the same. It’s like my life has been stripped of all its color and vibrancy. How can I breathe when I need her? I’m not sure that I can go on without her.”
“That’s a good question there, son. One that only you can find the answer to.” The stranger took another long pull on his coffee. One that he ‘enhanced’ with a flask that he’d pulled out of his coat pocket. “Your Roman sweetheart.”
“Ariella. Ariel…”
“She sounds like one of those ‘once in a lifetime’ girls. The kind that you might lose at first, but always find their way back to you.”
“She’s definitely once in a lifetime, but I think my chances of finding her are gone.” My dejection was tangible, my despair thick and heady like fog.
“As long as there’s hope, there’s a chance. Don’t give up. You’ve said that you’ve searched for her for a year now. Why are you giving up so easily? The important things in life don’t come easy. And who’s to say that you don’t hit paydirt this time around?” The man’s enthusiasm definitely belied his status. I was awed as I listened to him wax with such hope and conviction. I couldn’t help but feel inspired. “I’m the last man to give anyone advice, but I think you need to keep trying. Even if it’s one final time. I think you owe it to yourself, and to her, to give it a go.”
“You’re right,” I said as my body flooded with knowing. “You are absolutely right. Why am I giving up without trying at least one more time? What if I find her this time?”
“With that attitude, I’d say it’s definitely a possibility.”
“How can I ever thank you?” I asked, suddenly more than grateful for him stopping me when he did to partake with the sage advice that I so badly needed.
“Just pay it forward,” my unexpected counselor offered up. “And if you know anybody looking to hire an out-of-work vet who’s down on his luck, please send them my way.”
“What did you do before? If I may ask?” I asked carefully, not wanting to point out the obvious just in case I offended him.
“Management. I was in management. Both in the military and out. After I retired, I worked in hospitality for almost twenty years. That is until the place that I worked for was bought out by some huge conglomerate and they let all of us employees go. It was perfect timing too.” His voice took on a bitter edge. “The day I found out I’d been sacked—with the shittiest severance package known to man—was also the day that my wife was diagnosed with uterine and ovarian cancer.”
I winced involuntarily. I knew what it was like to watch someone suffer from ovarian cancer. My mom’s battle could only be described as horrific. With that said, I couldn’t imagine what this man had been through.
“I just happen to know someone,” I offered, not missing the excited gleam that came to light in the man’s fawn-brown eyes. “The company I work for owns a chain of boutique hotels. We’ve been looking for an experienced manager to run our downtown location, but we can never seem to find the right fit. Call this number and ask for Michael. He’s my brother and is overseeing the hiring process. He’ll also help you get the required documents that you need, as well. Tell him that Lucas recommended you when you call.”
“Aw Lucas, I don’t know what to say.” My newfound friend took the card I’d pulled from my wallet and handed to him. “But how am I going to go in looking like…” He gestured to the worn, dirty clothes that hung off of his thin frame. I answered by handing him another card.
“Go to this address. It’s only a few blocks from here. When you get there, ask for Andrew. He’s my dresser. He’ll take care of everything that you need, and don’t worry about paying for it. Consider your new wardrobe payment for the counseling services that you rendered tonight. I’ll shoot him a message once I leave here to let them know to expect you.”
“How can I ever thank you?” the other man said.
“Just pay it forward…” My words trailed off as I realized that I’d neglected to ask him his name.
“Paul. My name is Paul Hammermith,” he said, his face transformed with hope and happiness.
“It’s been nice talking to you, Paul.” I extended my hand which he eagerly accepted. “I’ll see you soon. Take my card too just in case there are any hiccups.”
I left Paul that night tucked safely away in a warm room in a nearby motel. After what he’d done for me tonight, there was no way that I was going to let him continue to spend the night on the streets. The man deserved far more than I could ever give him and as I continued on home that night, I clung to the hope that Paul was right. That my search would lead me back to Ariel’s arms. Back to where I belonged and the only place that I wanted to be. I vowed to see it happen. Come hell or high water, she and I would be together. And, if for some reason, my search was fruitless, I’d take Ryan’s advice and move on. I couldn’t waste the life that I had left feeling empty. I would find a way to pick myself up and carry on, no matter what happened.
With the chill that blew against my skin, I swore to keep my vow. If I couldn’t find her this time, I’d let her go and find a way to move on, even though I knew that I would never be the same again.
Six Months Later…
“Congratulations!” My brother’s shout rang in my ear. “I can’t tell you how happy I am for you, man!” A second later, Michael threw his arms around me, wrapping me in a lung-crushing hug. It was quite clear that my brother was drunk. In fact, he was on a fast track to be completely and totally wasted. He had to be. He wouldn’t be this ‘excited’ if he were sober.
