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Chapter 1
“I just don’t understand why? He hasn’t changed who he is, and he is not going to change. A leopard won’t change its spots.”
Sighing, Aubree rolled her eyes as Margrett, her grandmother, continued with the same line of questions when it came to her relationship with Gerald. She was tired of the conversation, especially after the day she had. After an early morning dance coaching session, full day of classes, and three after-school cheer coaching sessions, Aubree was ready for a hot bath and bed. But, she would have to endure this phone call until she pulled in the driveway. If she had just answered the phone when her grandma called three days ago this would not be a topic of conversation today.
“Well, the dick can’t be that good for you to stay,” Margrett huffed. “What else does he have to do to break you before you walk away? Until you use the good sense God gave, you will continue to make excuses for him and hold those broken promises together. I don’t understand to leave. She had some things to do before she walked out for good; if she did.
“I know you don’t call yourself getting sassy with me! I will come through this phone and choke you out! Don’t rush me off the phone. I know you have suffered at his hand. Lord only knows all that you been through that you haven’t shared with me. But I guess you want to be like your momma and—.”
“Okay, now it is time to hang up. Good night!” Aubree yelled, hanging up the phone.
She hated when her grandmother started talking about her mother or compared her to her mother. She would never be like Diane living her life depending on a man to give her everything. She was living her life for herself and didn’t need a man nor anyone else to have the life she desired. At least that was the lie Aubree continued to tell herself so she wouldn’t feel like a fool for staying. Aubree knew she had to decide soon because every time Gerald pulled the disappearing act, Aubree ended up paying for something in his absence. Most of the time it was in the ballpark of four to five figures which she could no longer afford to do. Gerald drained her bank accounts dry; not to mention her soul. At this point Gerald was a roommate that paid the rent and utilities when he had the money; if he did that on time. Aubree just needed a little more time to get things in order before she walked away from Gerald for good. Her grandmother didn’t understand that she wanted to break all ties with Gerald so there would be no reason for her to come back to him.
Opening the car door, Aubree noticed the house was pitch black dark, no lights, and she always left the lights on when she knew she would be home late. Aubree used the flashlight on her phone to see to unlock the door. Aubree reached for the light switch on the wall as she entered the house and flipped the switch to turn on the lights. A clicking noise was all that could be heard as Aubree stood there waiting for the room to light up. “What the hell?” Aubree whispered. She turned around and looked out the door to see that the other houses in the neighborhood had power.
“No, no, no! Not this time! He wouldn’t do this to me again, fucking bastard!”
Stumbling over the ottoman to get to the kitchen, Aubree hoped this was just a wiring thing. Luckily, she kept candles on the counter and knew where the lighter was. Gerald told Aubree before he left that he took care of the rent, utilities, and cable, and he would be back soon, but that was almost a month ago when Gerald left without giving his destination. In the last two years this had become the norm for their relationship. He claimed to be out of town on business and stayed gone for months at a time with no contact. In the past, Aubree worried herself sick wondering about his whereabouts and who he was with, but now Aubree looked forward to the peace and quiet during his trips except for times like now. Gerald’s extended absences always resulted in Aubree having to cover the cost of something he promised to pay; Aubree hoped she could pay it without draining all that she had saved so far. He didn’t concern himself with much about Aubree unless another man wanted her, or she actually left him which only happened once. He left her unprotected, open for anyone or anything to happen to her. This was the one thing she could count on him for… was to leave her without food, shelter, clothing, care, and basically everything she needed to survive. “I should have stayed gone when I left the first time.”
Aubree found the number for the electric company and called the afterhours customer service line. After going through the prompts with the automated system, the operator finally answered. “M.E. Electric Company payment line. How may I help you?” the operator asked.
“Hi, yes, I am calling to find out if a payment was made on the account.”
Like she didn’t know why I was calling,Aubree thought. She could hear the clicking sound of the keyboard as the operator entered information.
“Please verify your address and phone number on the account,” the operator requested. Aubree provided all the information needed and waited to hear the response from the work. Each click of the keys caused her stomach to form knots and her heart to race. There was no way the response was going to be in her favor; it was taking too long for the operator to reply.
The clicking stopped. “Um...No, there is a past due amount of $1698.34 that must be paid today,” the operator confirmed.
“Shit, can I make a payment arrangement!”
Why did this keeping happening? Gerald just lied to her. Lying to him was like breathing. She knew better than to believe that he would do right by her, provide for her. He always had some story as to why he didn’t pay the bills when she found out the truth.
“Ma’am, no more payment arrangements can be made on this account, and we can only accept payments in the form of cash, money order, cashier’s check, or major credit card. If a payment is made by 8:00 PM, your power will be restored by midnight.”
Gerald had really screwed this up for her. The electric bill was in her name, and this was her credit that was on the line. Aubree didn’t have anyone that she could stay with, so she needed the power back on tonight. With the limited payment options available she needed to get to one of the offices or gas stations with the payment kiosk. There wasn’t any money in the joint account which Aubree didn’t contribute to on purpose. She knew the money would be gone before she could check the bank balance online. To be able to take a bath tonight, Aubree knew what she had to do, which meant moving further away from her dream.
Exhaling loudly, Aubree asked, “Once I make the payment, what do I need to do?” She didn’t even know why she was wasting the lady’s time by asking that question. Like asking the question was going to change the situation because it never did. It just gave her more proof that Gerald was a liar, and if she wanted to survive, she had to pay. The operator explained the process to Aubree and told her the location of payment kiosks near her.
“Is it possible for me to make a partial payment?” Aubree pleaded with the operator.
“Ms. Rogers, no. In order for your services to be restored you must pay the balance in full. Shit, that joker had plenty of time and chances to make a payment,” the representative replied, sucking her teeth.
Taken aback by the comment, Aubree shouted in the phone, “Excuse me!”
“Look, Gerald ain’t shit! He keeps making promises, and I’m not going to lose my job on a promise from a broke ass hole. Promises don’t pay bills. You have until 8:00 PM.”
Moving through the house with candle and phone in hand, Aubree knew some bitch had to be involved. She wondered what he promised her to keep the lights on for so long. Aubree went to the closet in the pantry that Gerald knew nothing about and opened the door to a small safe in the corner. Punching in the code, she withdrew enough money to cover the bill and closed the safe. She could hear her grandma’s voice from their conversation earlier today ringing in her ear.
“I just don’t understand why? He hasn’t changed who he is, and he is not going to change.What else does he have to do to break you before you walk away? Until you use the good sense God gave, you will continue to make excuses for him and hold those broken promises together.”
Aubree pulled up to the location of the payment kiosk at a shady looking gas station and headed into the store. She wasn’t going to cry anymore. She had given up every good thing in her life only to end up going farther down the dark hole. Standing at the payment kiosk entering the accounting information to begin the payment process, she began to feed the money to the machine. It was like sucking her dream away as each bill was accepted. Her grandma always said only a woman knows when she has had enough and is ready to leave. For some it took weeks, for others it took years, but that woman will know when she has had enough. When she is broken beyond anything a man can repair with words or actions.
As Aubree drove back home to sit in the dark, she pondered if she was broken beyond repair yet.
Chapter 2
All week Aubree had been contemplating calling someone, anyone for help, but that wasn’t true. There were two people she considered calling but was determined not to go back to that place, to that time in her life where she hated using her gift of dance for survival. Her grandmother always said dancing came so easy to Aubree that it was a gift to treasure. Aubrey, her father in namesake, put her in dance classes when he watched Aubree imitating dancers from her favorite TV show. She took to dancing like a fish to water and never stopped after the first day of dance class. Dancing brought her special time with her dad, happiness, and peace, but now dancing would have a different meaning.
