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I took my cut off and kicked off my boots.
“Let me help.” She approached and reached for my fly.
I stopped her with a hand on her wrist. “Think I need to just crash.”
She jerked in surprise. “You… you’re…” She let that hang.
“Tired. Over six hours driving today. Be back. Washin’ up. Go ahead and crash. Be back in a bit.”
I left the room.
***
I got into the room, dropped my jeans and got under the covers. The lights were out but the TV was on. She was looking at me when I got in and I could see she’d been crying.
“I’m fucking this up,” she whispered.
I had no reply.
“I’m gonna do better, Jesse.”
“You gotta fuckin’ let me in. Gotta trust me, G.”
“I do.”
“Obviously, you don’t.”
“Why would you say that?” she asked.
“You hidin’ something so I won’t get mad? C’mon. What would that say to you?”
“You’re right,” she whispered. “I don’t… this is new to me.”
“Let’s just get some sleep. Been a long fuckin’ day.”
“You don’t… don’t want to have sex because you’re mad at me.”
“I’m frustrated, Gianna. That’s not the same as being mad. Let’s just put shit to bed and sleep.”
“Can we… Can I…” She rolled into me and put her hand on my jaw. “I’ve missed you. I want to make you happy. I want…you.”
“Not in the mood to fuck, woman.”
“Are we gonna be okay?”
“If you let me get some goddamn sleep when I’m askin’ for it, maybe.”
I turned over and adjusted the pillow.
19
I woke up to her eyes on me. She was chewing on her cheek. She looked stressed out, like she hadn’t slept much.
And I felt remorse at leaving shit the way I did last night, but I couldn’t help it; I was frustrated. I need more from her than what I’ve been getting. And I didn’t need the stress of worrying about what she might do to herself either. That shit was weighing very fuckin’ heavily on me.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hello,” she whispered.
“Come here,” I ordered.
She scooted closer. I caught her by the underarms and pulled her up on top of me.
She had nothing on.
I ran a hand up and down her spine, putting my mouth to her ear while she pressed her tits against my chest. Her nipples hardened.
“You sleep with nothing on hoping to seduce me last night to make up for me being pissed off?”
She nodded, burying her nose behind my ear.
I reached for a condom, but she moved down my body before I got it opened and then she was wrapping her mouth around my cock.
Fuck yeah. That hot mouth, that talented tongue?
“Get on my face while you suck me off,” I demanded.
Her eyes lit up, then she twisted around, trying to get her ass up while still sucking me off. She took too much time to get there so I grabbed her leg and flipped her, taking a nip at her ass cheek.
She squealed and then giggled. The giggle died when I latched onto her clit and sucked.
“My god, Jesse, you’re good at that,” she whimpered.
I slapped her ass. “Get that hot mouth back where it belongs, hostage.”
She complied, taking me deep. And it’d been a while for me, and she was very eager to please, so though she came fast, I came not long after.
“Round two in ten,” I said. “Come here.”
She twisted to get to the top of the bed, then snuggled up to me. I played with her hair. She scrubbed at the stubble on my jaw with her nails.
“Sorry,” she said. “I’m gonna do better. Use those outlets, and… be honest.”
I tapped her ass. “Good. Make a list of what food you want, stuff for both of us for the next couple days, and I’ll send Nolan and Bick out for it. You’re here for the time being. Lockdown right now. Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she whispered.
“But you’ve got the run of the clubhouse.” I put my index finger to her nose, “You can go downstairs through the inside door during opening hours, too. Hang in the Roadhouse if you want company, if you’re hungry or thirsty beyond what we get in. I’ll set up a tab so you can go down and get whatever. We’ll have lunch together today in there, yeah?”
“Yep. Sounds good.”
I kissed her. “I’m serious, though. Don’t just hide out in here. Some of the other women’ll be around too. You can also go down for coffee, to chat with the girls that work there or the brothers’ women or whatever. You don’t need to hide. You’ve got as much right to be here as any of the wives and girlfriends that are here. You get me?”
She nodded, hesitation in her eyes. And something else there, too.
“I mean it,” I told her.
“Okay, Jesse.”
I wanted to whisper words into her skin that would soothe her. Make her see the goddess that stares at her the mirror. The girl won’t look the goddess in the eyes. Because shame eats her alive.
