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“Skip’s wife waltzed into the garage while you were gone and told me you gave Skip some venereal disease that he brought home to her. Tellin’ me the timing meant it was while you and I were already a thing. I knew it was bullshit. Did I even ask you about it?”
Her eyes widened. She shook her head.
“No, because I knew you hadn’t stepped out on me. I also believed you when you told me you hadn’t let him touch you in a long time. Is he the one that gave you something that made you nervous about STDs?”
She shook her head. “No. It was back when I was in high school.”
“So you’re comparing me to some teenaged shithead?”
“No! Not at all. I’ve always-”
I cut her off, “I didn’t doubt for a second that you told me the truth about Skip. Yet you pull this shit after I’m thinkin’ we’re solid, showing me that I’m the only one that thinks that since you’re not sure if I stepped out on you while you were neck deep in vomit, bitching, and getting insults on a daily basis from your sick aunt?”
“I’m new to this stuff. I’ve never had a real relationship. And bikers… well…”
I rolled my eyes. “Not all bikers cheat. Gettin’ real tired of this shit, G. I’ve made where I’m at pretty fuckin’ clear, I think. Made it very fuckin’ clear last night. Clearer with you than any other woman I’ve been with. Can’t say you’ve done the same.”
She sniffled. “No. I haven’t. But I was ready to show you a new level of trust today. But you’re pretty mad at the way I did it and I’m tryin’ to apologize.”
“You still don’t trust that I’m not playin’ you.”
She dragged her fingers through her hair with exasperation. “I’m trying to show you I do trust you, giving you something I’ve never given anyone by choice. And I’ve gone and screwed things up again by my choice of words. I didn’t know if maybe last night changed things for you, too, if you’d maybe not considered us exclusive until now and… God, the look on your face. I’m sorry I’m so bad at this.”
“Never given anyone by choice? How many times it been taken not by choice?”
“Let’s not go there. This is an ugly enough conversation. I want to give it to you. The trust. The thing I’ve never trusted anyone else to have. It’s yours. I’m sorry I messed up. Again. I told you I’m totally fucked up. But I’m trying here.”
“I’m goin’ to work early.”
She grabbed my hand, got up, and threw her arms around me. “Goin’ to work early? It’s Sunday. A whole day early?”
I huffed out a sound of impatience.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Jesse. Every day you show me even more how amazing you are. We hit a new level last night and I was trying to show you trust. I didn’t mean anything bad. I’m so terrified I’m gonna fuck it up, that it’s making me fuck it up.”
I tried to summon some patience. I took her face into my hands.
“I need space. Gonna go work on the backlog in the garage. Three cars outside that need tune-ups. Gonna get us ahead of the game and give us an easier Monday. You’re not gonna hurt yourself while I’m gone, are you?”
Her lower lip trembled. “That seems like you still don’t trust me either.”
“Guess we’ve both got work to do,” I muttered. “Only, you’ve given me reason to not trust you. Have I given you any reason not to trust me?”
She shook her head.
“You promised you won’t hurt yourself.”
“I said I won’t.”
“I’m holding you to that. I’m gonna go clear my head, clear the backlog, and should be back later this afternoon. Spend the evening with you. Do somethin’ maybe.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
I let go of her and finished getting dressed. She left to take a shower.
***
“I’m goin’.” I had my hand on the doorknob at the exit. I could see her in the kitchen at the coffee pot.
“Okay,” she said quietly, “Have a good day.”
“Get the fuck over here and kiss me, then,” I ordered.
She jolted, but then hurried over.
“Even if we’re pissed off, I still want this mouth before I leave.”
I dropped a soft kiss on her mouth and gave her a pointed look.
“And no bathrobe outside my room unless it’s twelve inches longer than this one. No booty shorts. Too much leg on display.”
“Oh.”
“Love you,” I said softly, against her mouth.
She face-planted into me and blew out a sigh of relief. “I love you, Jesse.” I held her for a minute because she was trembling.
“Gonna go,” I said. “Back later.”
She looked up at me. “I trust you.”
I said nothing.
She put her hands on my face. “I trust you. I love you. And I believe in us. I swear I do.”
