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Yeah, the cuffs on my hostage are overkill with Pudge on duty here, though thinking on it, I’d have used them even if she had only slept a couple hours earlier because I don’t know this bitch at all and I’m not taking chances she won’t jab me in my sleep and torch the building.
I don’t let chicks spend the night. Don’t pass out cold after I fuck someone. Never sleep until they go. And they also don’t get into my sheets. I’ll fuck them on top of the blanket. Once that thing is pulled back and thrown off, the space beneath is mine.
Like the back of my bike, I don’t share the space where I lay my head at night. My sheets are sacred. And yet she’s been on that sacred ground all day. Too late to tell her to sleep on top of the blankets.
I could’ve laid it out to Deke, saying that after the shit I’ve been through, the feel of my sheets would be a privilege I’d save for the day I found someone I wanted to be mine. Big if. Because, fuck. That fucking bitch, Chelsea – she coldcocked me.
She’s why my sheets aren’t shared freely. Why the back of my bike wouldn’t be either. They’re for the one who deserves to be mine, who I trust to be with me at my most vulnerable. The one who got all of me. If that one person even existed.
It's been nearly three years since it ended. And that shit still itches. It itches in a place I can’t reach. It eats at me, and it’d be really fuckin’ nice for that to not be the first or second thought I wake with every day of the rest of my time on this plane.
But I didn’t say shit to Prez because that’s not who I am – a guy who shares his mantra. He needed the solid and he can count on me. I didn’t balk about sharing my bed because I meant it when I vowed my promises to this club. Meant every fucking word. Because if I didn’t believe it, then why was I gullible enough to work toward all this shit?
I believe in all I’m seein’ with the Valentine clan and the other brothers so far. And I’m all-in to help them have what they want – profitable businesses, a place to kick back with the brothers, safety for their loved ones. Maybe someday I’ll have loved ones that benefit from the work being done now – that remains to be seen.
Maybe what I was doing right now – having this bunny here in my room for Deke was just what it looked like at face value: a solid. Something expected of any MC brother. But maybe it’s more than that. Could be that what I was doin’ right now was also helping put the right future in motion. Because someone didn’t get taken out by those sick degenerates. The girl here in my sheets right now might be legit. The tips she gave Prez might’ve saved three lives. And maybe we’re all on the road heading toward a time without these enemies breathing down our necks, keeping my MC brothers up at night fearing the safety of their women and kids.
But whatever the true reasons this girl was in my bed, I gave my word to the brotherhood that I’d do whatever needs to be done for the future we all want and agreed to work toward, so I’d deal. And deal with my eyes open so if she’s not who she’s making herself out to be, I’ll figure it out before she causes harm.
***
With my watch shift looming, I was losing patience fifteen minutes later. I wasn’t drifting off yet and it wasn’t looking like it’d happen any time soon. Because not only was there a chick in my bed with me...not only could I smell the shampoo, soap, and toothpaste on her, I could also tell she wasn’t settling. Her breathing was erratic, and she was fidgety.
“Are you tryin’ to piss me off?” I barked after yet another bed creak along with the rattle of cuffs.
She squealed in shock at my outburst as if the boogeyman snuck up on her.
“What’s your problem?” I growled, hearing her gasping for breath.
“S-sorry, I… I don’t think I can do this.”
I flicked the lamp on and aimed a squinty glare at her.
The girl looked like frantic cornered prey with her wrist cuffed over her head to my headboard.
“I can’t be handcuffed to this bed in the dark, Jesse. I can’t be. I’m not tryin’ to be sassy or difficult, but I c-can’t be. I’m freaking the fuck out over here. Please let me out. Please…”
She shook her head, damp hair swaying as she pulled against the cuff.
