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“People can be like that. We can’t always help ‘em. You tried.”
She sniffled, and wiped her nose. “I should’ve tried harder. I think she was doin’ drugs. I think she was doing a lot of drugs and they were supplying them. That’s what I think.”
“Based on what the boys said was the description of her, sounds like that’s the case.”
Her face crumpled. “I’m not surprised. She looked terrible the last time I saw her. Shoulda got her in rehab, got her away from them.”
I took her face into my hands. “Don’t take that on. It won’t help her, and it certainly won’t fuckin’ help you. Okay?”
“She thought I’d be famous someday, tried to be my manager. Told me she’d wait until I had fat stacks to splash out on a fancy rehab for her so she could get addicted to caviar instead.” She laughed sardonically, wiping her eyes. “Screwed around with this rich married guy who had a studio in his house specifically so she could get me in the space to make a demo tape. Talked me into it even though I told her I didn’t wanna be a famous singer. And then the guy’s pregnant wife chased us out with a baseball bat and the lady tripped and fell right on her belly. Kai laughed in her face. Laughed her ass off about that even though there was a baby involved. God, sometimes she was so h-horrible. But sometimes, like the night she saved me from her daddy who tried to molest me while playing hide ‘n seek with us in the dark. Kai showed her good, you know?”
“Jesus.”
“Though she talked me into giving my virginity away another night when she was in a jam. Getting her out of that jam.”
I felt my lip curl. “Fuck sakes.”
“I’m babbling again. I’ll stop.”
“You don’t have to stop.”
“I know it’s hard to imagine why I’d love her, but I did. Can I have some more JD?”
“I’ll bring in the bottle. Unless you wanna go sit and have some by the fire.”
“I just wanna close my eyes and wake up and have her not be dead.”
“I know, baby. I’m sorry.” I ran my thumbs up and down her cheekbones.
She leaned in for a second, then pulled back.
“Yeah…” She sniffled and raked her hands through her hair. “Life’s a bitch, then you die.”
“You want me to run you a bath? Make you some food? My ma always runs a hot bath when she’s upset. Don’t know if it’d help you, suspect nothin’ but time’ll help dull pain like this. But if you want, I’ll run you one.”
“Okay to the bath. No thanks to the food. But some more JD too would be good.”
“You got it.”
I brought her a triple shot, leaving the bottle in the bedroom and then ran a bath with bubble bath I found on the shelf before I poked my head into the bedroom again. “It’s ready.”
“Thanks,” she muttered, wiping her eyes.
I put the fire out before going back in and locking up.
After I started up a new fire in the fireplace, I made my way down the hall. I could hear water moving in the bathroom and knew she was still in the tub. I opened the door.
She jolted in surprise, eyes bloodshot, looking timid.
“You need anything?”
She shook her head, sending suds airborne.
“I’ll be on the couch watchin’ a movie if you need anything or you want company.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“Started a fire. It’s cozy out there.”
“Okay.”
I closed the door and immediately heard the metal-on-metal sound of the shower curtain being dragged over.
She wanted privacy, space; I’d give her that.
I put away the baked potatoes and made a sandwich, throwing a movie on.
A while later, I got off the couch and walked down the hall. I found her sleeping in a track suit, bundled up, the bottle of JD on its side behind her. I moved it to the dresser, undressed, and climbed in. She rolled into me and started crying into my throat again.
“Thank you for b-bein’ so s-sweet,” she slurred, then her body bucked, and I held on tight.
“I’m here for you, baby. Okay?”
She nodded, sniffled, and held me tighter. I stroked her hair, her back, and kept doing it until her crying stopped. She cried herself to sleep.
I adjusted the pillow and found one of my t-shirts under it. I tossed it to the floor and kissed her head.
8
After the Sioux Falls clubhouse compound gates were closed behind me, I pulled up to the large warehouse, seeing that Edge was moving in my direction, chucking his cigarette after his eyes hit mine then cut to Gigi. He hauled open the passenger door and reached over to undo her seatbelt, then pulled her out of the passenger seat into an embrace.
She bawled into his chest, arms going around his middle.
