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“We do?”
“We do,” I confirmed.
“Jesse, wait.”
I stopped.
“Looking in my journals hurt. A lot. Looking into my caboodle and seeing my darkest secret hurts almost as much. I get that you’re concerned, but you don’t have to worry about me. I’m tough; I’ll be okay. I’ll get by. I always do.”
“Outlets.” I pointed toward the stuff on the bed. “Church, baby. Back soon. I’ll have to have a drink with the brothers after and then I’ll be here. Yeah? Keep watching your comfort show. Draw, journal, or listen to music. Outlets. Okay?”
She blinked a couple times, then swallowed again.
I left. I left hoping she was beginning to see clearly.
***
Her and I were one of the items on the agenda. It got me curious about what was said about us the night before in Aberdeen’s church, but I didn’t have to wonder for long.
When Rudy gave Deke the floor, his voice came through on the speakerphone and he went right for that point.
“Said most of this last night to the Aberdeen charter but it bears repeating for everyone. Gia Jones helped save lives with her warnings and that’s why Jesse started keeping’ her safe. But to add to what I said last night, I want family members to treat her not only with respect because she brought us that invaluable intelligence, but also because Jesse’s tryin’ her on for size so she’s likely to become family, too. We make family feel like family. Yeah?”
“Absolutely,” Rudy put in. “People who earn their place in this club either as a friend to the club or a member should always be treated well. That includes the club sweet butts and the former sweet butts.”
I knew eyes were on me, so I avoided the urge to grind my teeth at the way Deke worded it, at the way Rudy called her a sweet butt. They meant no harm, I knew that, but I didn’t like the choice of words. It might’ve been okay to word it that way if she was a new hookup that didn’t have history with the club but based on her history I didn’t fuckin’ like the implication that she was disposable. I knew I had to let it go. As a thick-skinned man, offhanded remarks haven’t ever bothered me, but it grinded my gears because of feeling increasingly protective over her. I didn’t just want her safe and whole. I wanted that shame out of her eyes, so it made me wanna shield her from words that’d bring that ugliness on.
Other guests who weren’t spending the night were heading out soon in groups. Delia had sorted rooms for a few in case things went late and in case Edge decided to stay the night. But in the chapel, he said he wanted to get to Aberdeen as soon as possible, so a convoy was happening. We were increasing our presence. We had allies in other MCs. We were making statements and doing it with the volume on max, so the Wyld Jackals’d know we mean business and we have allies too. Local ones that could inflict harm, unlike their flexing about possible allies who were nowhere to be seen.
Their days were numbered. Our loved ones were under curfew. And this sesh was about us dotting our i’s and crossing our t’s for the foreseeable in case they tried to pin anything else on any of us. They were going down, but until then: traveling in groups, clear alibis with logs and backup for every man in the club from prospects up to chapter presidents. And extra caution working our plan to make sure that when they got taken down, they stayed down.
***
I was having a drink in the packed billiards room. I’d have gone straight to her, but needed to mingle with the brothers for a while first. The brotherhood is something that nurtures its’ members and as such, you not only get it when you need it, you need to give it when your brothers need it. Edge in particular needed it tonight. He and a few of the guys were heading to Aberdeen shortly, so I planned to make my exit then and go back to show her with more than words where my head was at.
I already told Rudy I had to skip the poker game and have time with my new girl. He razzed me for it, but it was good-natured.
Sitting at the bar between Edge and Axel, I felt the heat of Skip’s gaze on the back of my neck. I knew he was at the pool table behind me, and I’d been feeling his gaze the past ten minutes.
He intentionally avoided eye contact with me during church, other than the seconds where our eyes locked directly after Deke’s “trying her on for size” comment. He was the one to look away first.
