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“Take what down a notch or seven?”
“The concerned boyfriend act. Because I know you’re not my man, even though you also played it that way with Aunt Francie to make sure that nobody who doesn’t need to know you’re my bodyguard won’t know what’s what. You don’t have to give me the boyfriend experience here because I’m grieving. Because the way you’re being … Jesse… it’s dangerous for my…” she dropped down to barely a whisper, “my heart.”
I stared.
She stared back.
I watched a swallow work down her throat as she continued staring. And then she was searching my face, trying to figure out what I was thinking.
It was time to tell her exactly what I was thinking.
“Have you not clued in yet, hostage?” I asked.
“Clued into what?” She looked genuinely perplexed.
“The fact that I’m no longer protecting you because of what you did for the club. I’m protecting you because I’ve made you mine.”
She jerked back and blinked a couple times, then looked pissed off. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“D-don’t fuck with me,” her voice trembled.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Not funny.” She threw the blanket back.
“What’s not funny?” I fired back. But I was smirking.
“If you knew what I’d been through you wouldn’t even joke about this, because it’s actually kinda cruel. Though maybe you’re just cruel like that; fucked if I know.”
“I’m not bein’ cruel. I’m bein’ straight with you.”
“Spare me and could you please be serious?” She got out of bed, went to the dresser and opened the bottle of water sitting there.
“What’d I tell you? Stop asking me if I’m serious all the time. If I say something, I’m serious.”
“And what are you serious about? Me?” She laughed like it was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. And then she downed some water, choked on it, and set it down.
I gave her a minute to recover from the coughing fit.
“Now you’re being an asshole,” she finally stated. “Not cool.”
And she looked hurt. She was cradling herself, mouth turned down, eyes filled with emotion that might turn to tears. And I didn’t want to be the cause of more tears for her. At all. This conversation was hurting her feelings. I had to rip this Band-Aid off instead of peeling it slowly.
I cleared my expression. “Gianna. I know it’s early. I might’ve waited to make any sort of statement until we got past this shit with the Jackals or at least a week or two after we’d spent time together not in the middle of drama or you grieving, but you need to know where I’m at. Laying it out right now since you’re not takin’ my hints. Maybe it’ll get Skip off your back, too, though that’s not why I’m doin’ it. It’s you ‘n me because I want it and I’m pretty sure you want it too. So, lean into it, baby, because you’re claimed.”
“I’m… claimed?” She looked at me with alarm as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“Fuck yeah. I’ve now claimed you and will be making that statement clear, so all these pricks know not to keep pissin’ me off by askin’ me to send you to their goddamn room as well as to keep their hands and their fuckin’ mouths off what’s mine.”
She scoffed. Her face was red. She was pissed off. Pissed off? No. That wasn’t anger I was seeing. I wasn’t sure what it was.
Her lower lip quivered, so I took her face into my hands and stared deep into her eyes. Yeah, it was pain. And the pain there nearly made my knees buckle.
“Gigi,” I whispered.
A sob tore out of her, and she grabbed my wrists. I thought for a minute she wanted me to let go, but her nails dug into my skin, and she shuddered out a broken breath.
“Do you not wanna be mine?” I asked gently. “Hey… you’re shaking. Talk to me.”
She pulled breath in and then shuddered out a sob, so I kept talking, “You keep droppin’ signs this is just casual and I keep droppin’ signs it’s not. So, yeah, it’s early for this declaration but if that’s what it’s gonna take to make myself clear, to make people fuck off and leave you alone, and even more important than that, to let you know you’re not alone right now, that’s a good reason to declare it early. You want me, you’ve got me. You don’t wanna be claimed, say so now.”
She was trembling harder.
I waited for a good two minutes, still holding her face, still feeling her nails digging into my hands, before I spoke again.
“Do you not want this? If you’re just down to fuck while I protect you, I won’t let myself get more attached.”
There was a sound that seemed to come from the back of her throat. It seemed involuntary, as if she was holding herself together but by only a thread.
